Wait for me?
Ethan released my hand an I let it slip into the water. Only when it was underneath the surface did I ball it into fists. Ethan turned from me, he didn’t address the servants as he walked toward the door. The girls continued their washing but didn’t utter a word. It wasn’t until the door closed behind Ethan that it felt like I could breathe for the first time in days. I didn’t let myself fall apart but I couldn’t keep the tears from escaping and streaming down my cheeks.
I remained calm and looked out of the window. The sky was painted with beautiful colors. I had thought the view from my window back home was breathtaking but being here, in this room atop a mountain, it felt as if I were up in the sky among the colors. I didn’t let myself dwell on what had happened.
Today was only the first day and things would only get worse from here. I knew this but I couldn’t help but feel lost. After they had finished washing me I stood to my feet and stepped out of the tub. They dried me and dressed me for bed. Silk cascaded down my body, the dress stopped just below my knees, and I closed my eyes as I tried to hold it together. I walked to the window and stared out while Nicole came and brushed my hair. She didn’t smell like a wolf and I wondered what she was. I’d only ever been around my father’s back and those he thought were acceptable.
“I don’t mean to pry, Luna… please excuse my impertinence, are you okay?” Nicole whispered.
“Yes,” I said.
She doesn’t say anything else, neither of them do. When they’re done they ask me if I need anything else. When I told them I didn’t, Nicole asked if I needed anything to eat, and I told her I was fine. I dismissed them but Nicole looked over her shoulder at me before she left. They told me that if I needed anything I could just ask anyone of the guards and they would call them.
Since I hadn’t been officially accepted into the pack I couldn’t link anyone. I wondered if that was on purpose. Was he taking his time on accepting me into the pack to keep me isolated and alone? I wouldn’t put it past him.
Now that I was alone I thought I would finally be able to fall apart. But now that I sat at the edge of the bed, alone in this room, I couldn’t. There was an empty void inside of me. It was small but still there. It felt as if all of my emotions were being sucked into it.
If I left it alone would it consume all of me?Was there anything I could do to stop it?
And if there were something I could do, would I do it?
I don’t know how long I sat and stared out at the night sky as the sun began to set. I watched the moon rise with a heavy heart. The stars twinkled as the sky and I watched as time passed. Somehow, sometime while sitting, I fell asleep. My dreams consisted of stolen kisses, a warm embrace, and a promise of his return.
Only to be awoken later when the light crept in from the open door. Slow but confident steps reached my ears as he strode across the room. The bed groaned as it gave way under weight. My heart panicked and demanded I make a run for it but my mind knew better and shushed it.
I knew who had crawled into bed with me. Ethan was done with what he needed to and had come as promised. I had hoped he would be kept late and would be too tired that he would go straight to his room, but that’s where I had made a mistake. I had let myself hope.
My body tensed as his hands warmed up and over my body then it relaxed. His touch was vile and left me feeling disgusted and ruined. His warmth felt wrong on top of me and I looked away from him as his lips searched out my own.
So why?
Why was my body relaxing when I hated him with every fiber of my being?Did I subconsciously want this?
Did I want him?
Why was I reacting this way?
Why wasn’t my first instinct to fight?
No.
I knew for a fact that I didn’t want this. I would never want this and I would never want Ethan. Whatever was happening right now was out of fear. I couldn’t explain in but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I didn’t want to lay with him. Fear was what had my body automatically submitting to my captor. Because that’s what he was.
Ethan was my captor.
Ethan was my abuser.
I refused to let him have me and I refused to let myself get used to this. I refused to let myself get accustomed to his perverted touch and demented ways. I knew it would be easier for me if I didn’t fight him. I had already spent two days being intimate with him and doing things with him that were only meant for my mate. Only two days of being sexual with him and I was already exhausted.
How much longer could I take this?
How much longer could I force myself to live through this?
My body was trying to submit to him before my mind could comprehend it. The moment I accepted the abuse was the moment I would lose myself forever to this monster. I had gone through so much in the last week. From being found out, to the love of my life being captured, to announcing my union with Ethan, but that wasn’t all. I was abandoned by my mate and claimed by another. I wasn’t sure what to do anymore. I was stuck between wanting to mourn his loss and wanting to relive myself from the burden of life.
“Did you wait for me?” Ethan murmured.
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