Him
Adea
As soon as the doors closed behind us Ethan’s body tensed. I wasn’t looking at him, but I didn’t need to be, I could feel it. His arms flexed against my small ones, his wrist shook with what I would assume is anger. His steps quicken and I’m pulled along like a doll. I’m already noticing the difference between Ethan and him.
I don’t know when I decided. All I know is that it happened sometime from the moment he said he was the reason I had to stay here and realizing Gabriel was nowhere to be found. I had decided to lock his name away in a small box and bury it deep inside my heart. The deeper the better, if it was out of reach I wouldn’t have to think about him. Because if I did, my eyes were already starting to water.
If I did think about him in the next few days I would lose it. I couldn’t be strong, I couldn’t go through with what was going to happen if I thought about him. If I had him on my mind I would break into a thousand little pieces. If that happened I didn’t think I would be able to pick myself back up again if I did.
A strong hand on my back pushing me forward pulled me from my thoughts. I tumbled forward and reached out with my hands. When my hands connected with freshly stained wood I was able to stop myself from falling. I looked back over my shoulder to find Ethan shooting daggers at me.
“Get in the carriage. Right now,” Ethan growled.
For once I didn’t have anything I wanted to say to him. I wanted nothing to do with him. Without a single word out of me, I turned from him and faced forward. Lifting one leg I placed my shoe on the first step and followed with the second. On the third, I dropped my head and pushed forward until I was in the carriage. I didn’t bother looking around. My eyes locked on a maroon seat and I made my way there.
When I sat down, I focused on anything but Ethan as he made his way inside. When he took a seat across from me I could feel his eyes on me. Irritation and anger came off of him in waves but I didn’t bat an eye and I didn’t look his way. I was determined to ignore him for as long as I could. I’d do so until I couldn’t anymore. The carriage lurched forward and we were off.
The ride back to the packhouse is quiet. It’s dark and if not for the bright moon the territory would be covered in darkness. I can see everything as if a candle were being held to every piece of land we passed. The carriage jumped and shook as it rode over the bumpy road. My body jerked left and right causing me to bump my head against the carriage wall a few times.
The moon hangs from the sky like a decoration. Despite my situation I can’t help but stare at the buildings and trees we pass. I should be afraid, I should be very afraid, but I’m not. Instead, a feeling of cold numbness falls over me.
I had hopes that we would leave my father’s pack lands and head for Crimson pack. I didn’t want to spend a night with Ethan, not tonight, not after what I’d done with him. I wasn’t ready to be with him. I couldn’t, I didn’t want to. I sent prayer after prayer up to the Moon Goddess in hopes that she would give a miracle.
We come to a fork in the road and I clench my hands into tight balls as I wait to see which direction the carriage is going to go. If he turns right, we would be leaving my father’s pack and heading to Crimson pack. I would be safe for another few nights. If he turns left, we would be staying on my father’s land, we would be staying on Clear Mountain territory. My heart started beating twice as fast. I was leaning on the edge of my seat in anticipation. I stared outside of the window and held my breath. When he turned left, I almost laughed.
What did I expect? My luck had long since run out.
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