Crushed
Author's Note:
This is the start of a new life.
Adea
I wouldn’t say that I’m a mean person, I’m just not a people person. If I’m not a people person, I shouldn’t be working in customer service, right? Bills don’t discriminate, they just need to be paid. There were some pros to this shift. I had a schedule with Gabe. He was my best friend, he was the only person who grabbed my hand and came with me when I left home. I don’t know what I did to deserve his friendship or his loyalty, but I was more thankful for him that he could ever know. I also got free coffee and I took advantage of that.
I didn’t have to worry about someone new being in my space, but now I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Getting close to people was something I avoided. Throw in my trust issues and it takes every ounce of determination I have in my body to keep up the whole pretending to be someone I’m not thing I’ve got going on.
For as far back as I could remember I have always felt alone. It didn’t matter where or who I was with. I could be in a room full of people and still feel as if I were the only one there. I felt invisible, unseen, and unloved because I wasn’t born a man. The whole decrepit werewolf laws were so outdated. Yet everyone still upheld them. So, my first failure was not being born someone who could take over my father’s pack. My mother died giving birth to my sister, Ava, and while she was also born without a dick, my father favored her. She changed with every passing year. Something rotten took root in her until she became unrecognizable.
My father had once been a strong alpha, but he relied heavily on moony and werewolf alcohol to get through his days. All we could do was watch as he nose dived into the never ending pit of addiction. He cast aside his duties, neglected his pack members, and things began to change. The pack became restless and when talk of an uprising began to spread, I knew it was time for me to leave.
The night I left I tried to get my sister to run with me, but no matter how much I begged, she wouldn’t. She refused to leave all of her possessions and her comfortable life style even as it crumbled around her. I couldn’t stay here and I couldn’t force her to leave with me. I made peace with the fact that I may never see her again. I did what was best for me and left that night, but Gabe wouldn’t let me go without him. He was the best friend every girl deserved. Everyone needed a Gabe in their corner.
Goosebumps broke out across my arms as the cool wind whipped across the building. I was leaning outside of the drive thru window, something I’d been doing for at least ten minutes now. I was freezing my ass off and thinking of my warm bed. My hands balled into fists under my crossed arms as I stared at one of my loyal customers. He was a man with pale skin, black beady eyes, and a light brown fro. Keeping my mouth shut was the only thing that kept this pristine mask of mine firmly in place and my temper tightly tucked away.
With a fake smile plastered all over my face, I listened to Mr. Burns trash talk his wife. I knew everything there was to know about him and his wife. This was our little routine we did every day. Today, he was going on about how she didn’t appreciate him anymore. I almost started screaming when he said she had let herself go after the birth of their child.
The image of me screaming while he stared up at me from his Honda with wide eyes and his mouth agape flashed in my mind. Keeping my giggle from bubbling up was probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do today. That would be the day I get fired and end up jobless. The urge to tell him if he stayed home and actually helped his poor wife with their newborn, she would get off his back was strong. Flirting with the amazing barista at the local Big Foot Java wasn’t helping any of us. As for child birth, who has a perfect body after creating a life and then pushing it from their body? I fought the urge to shake my head. I did not have time for this today.
What is it with humans?
Morning Korra.
Mm. Is it because they don’t have mates? Is that why there is no loyalty between them?
Do you think humans can’t love?
I’m not sure they know how to love, Adea.
What if our mate is human?
If our mate is human, I’ll be crushed.
Why? If it’s a gift from the Goddess, then it must be a blessing.
Because I’ll love him more than he could ever love me.
I grimaced at that. I don’t want to so devoted to someone that it hurts me. It’s a weakness I don’t want or need in my life. I became of age a month ago on the first full moon of the year. Korra came to me like the Moon Goddess herself. She has been a blessing and a true friend, even if our thoughts didn’t align perfectly, she was a good partner. Mr Burns handed me a tip before I waved him goodbye. He sped off and I slid the window shut with a bang. I sighed as I leaned back against the counter. I glanced at the time, it was four am and the morning rush hadn’t started yet. Peering out at the empty parking lot I sighed.
I had a new girl coming today that I was supposed to train on one of the busiest times of the day. She didn’t have to go through and interview, so she must have someone backing her. I was notified by text when she would be starting and that I was personally responsible for her. Only werewolves worked at Big Foot Java, poor werewolves. She was hired on the spot and that could only mean one thing—she was somebody, or her parents were.
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