Chapter 61
Tyler, Maeve, Scott and Roxy are watching me.
"What?" I whisper, grabbing a chair and sitting down.
"You were too hard on him," Maeve says, "I've known that boy for a long time. He's only got his grandparents and no one else. You just made him more feel more lonely," Maeve points out and her words hit me really hard like a basketball on my face.
I rub my eyes in regret. Everything has changed. I have changed and I'm becoming worse by the minute. What kind of a person have I become?
An ungrateful bitch. My subconscious reminds me.
"I'm sorry guys. I really am. I've been so harsh on all of you, thinking only about myself. I am a selfish brat. I just yelled at Jim and I don't even have clear proof that he's the traitor. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am going crazy or something. All of this drama is driving me nuts!" I throw my hands aimlessly in the air.
As I look around me, I realize that these people right in front of me are my ride-or-dies. They're always there for me but me and my ungrateful ass keep on pushing them away.
"Hey, take it easy. Jimbo is gone. We'll figure this out together, okay?" Roxy pulls me into a bear hug and the rest move in for a group hug.
Some friends are like family and I sure don't want to lose this family. I've already lost one, and I am not making that mistake ever again.
Mistakes... Mistakes happen all the time but some can't be undone.
I am stuck in a cycle. A cycle of blaming myself for my mistakes and stupidity. I am too deep in my thoughts that I don't hear Roxy calling me until she shakes me vigorously, back to reality.
I hate reality, sometimes I wish I was a princess in a fairytale, waiting for her prince charming. You know those kind of love stories that always have a happy ending and very few complications? Yeah, I wish I was living such a life.
"Hey, stop doing that to yourself." She frowns.
"Doing what?" I ask, biting my lower lip.
"I know that look, and I know that you're feeling guilty and you're blaming yourself for every little thing that has happened. You're probably even blaming yourself for the first world war. Give. Yourself. A. Damn. Break!" she insists and hands me a glass of water. I glug it down quickly and place the glass on the island.
"Where's everyone?" My thoughts had carried me away and I didn't even notice the rest leaving.
"Scott's seeing them out. Hey, you're going to be okay. Right now you need to focus on your studies. The finals start next week and you wouldn't want to mess up. Come on, I'll buy you ice cream. You need to calm down." She pulls me by the hand and I reluctantly follow her.
Next week? I haven't even had the time to study. Crap!
Just before we get to the living room, Scott walks to us.
"Some lady is at the door. She wants to talk to you." He points at me and I frown.
"Who is she?" I whisper.
"I don't know. I've never seen her around. She says it's urgent." He shoves his hands into the pockets of his khaki shorts.
I wasn't expecting any visitors. Maybe it's one of mom's friends. I walk straight to the door and once I get it open. I spot the lovely, ever-smiling, Carla standing at my door step, her hair is tied into a neat bun and I feel guilty for the way my hair looks like right now. I look like I just came from fighting with a grisly bear in the jungle.
Oh well, I might as well just ignore the fact that my hair looks crazy.
"Hello, Kyrah. Good to see you. It's such a lovely day, isn't it?" she greets.
A lovely day to go throw myself off a cliff.
I raise my eyebrows at her, since I can't seem to find any words to tell her. She gets my unspoken message.
"I'd like to speak with you. How about we go to the park?" and a grin forms on her pink lips. How can someone resist that beautiful smile?
"Okay," I respond.
***
As we walk at the park, I feel somehow better than when I was locked up in my house.
The air is fresh, birds are chirping in the trees, people are busy having a lovely day and I notice that they all look happy and peaceful. What do I look like? A psycho that just escaped the asylum, that's what. Yeah. Eyebags, dark circles around my eyes due to lack of sleep and a gloomy facial expression. Compared to how Carla looks like, I'm a walking zombie.
"Why do you want to talk me?" I break the silence. Obviously I know why, but I just had to ask.
"It's Blake. I am worried about him and I promised that I would talk to you. So here I am. He's been having a really hard time. He hasn't even gone to school for a few days now." She clears her throat.
"Guess we've both been missing classes. Fair enough." I shrug and Carla sighs as we walk past a couple holding hands. I roll my eyes when I spot their entwined hands.
"Something you should really know is that he loves you. So much. And that he's trying his very best to be a good man to you. Things haven't been going his way lately you know." I stop and look at her, my face is expressionless.
"Let me guess... Because of Cruella isn't it?" I ask as I cross my arms in front of me.
"Cruella?" she lifts an eyebrow.
"Yeah. That hard-headed devil, Sabrina," I grunt as I look away at a random tree.
Carla lets out a hearty laugh and for the first time in days, a tiny smile forms on my face.
"Wow! Cruella? Such a catchy name. Suits her perfectly." She pats my shoulder.
"I know right?"
A moment of silence takes over. The wind is now blowing my hair mercilessly. We continue walking and I'd pick pebbles and throw them into the pond that's in the middle of the park. We stop again right in front of the pond.
"Sabrina can be a little... Insane," Carla says as she stares far into the pond and I notice how her hair is neatly tied into a bun.
"You think? She's beyond insanity," I reply throwing a stone into the water. "She almost killed me. She's a psychopath, a moron, a fucking asshole." I clench my fists.
"Blake told me that. I am sorry that she keeps on making life hard for you," Carla says, apologetically.
I grab a pebble and throw it furiously, nearly hitting a duck that's swimming in the pond.
"Careful." I hear a familiar voice from behind me. I don't look back. I only keep my eyes on the water and the person throws a pebble which skims on the water four times.
When I turn to my right, Blake is staring at me with those eyes. Those damn blue eyes.
"Oh hell no," I grumble and before I know it, my feet are carrying me away. I am walking so fast, my strides long.
"This is bullshit!" I complain while trying to hasten my steps.
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