Chapter 67
"Hey, you," he coos and my eyes widen.
"Hey, me?" I giggle, "Where did that come from?"
"Nowhere," he chuckles "You're up so early today."
"Yeah. I couldn't sleep so I thought of studying for the finals." I bite my lower lip, still staring at his window. Little did I know that he'd draw his curtains.
So here we are, both of us looking at each other through the windows, holding on to our phones. He stares for a while without saying anything.
"You look beautiful," he says and my cheeks flash red. I can feel my entire body going warm.
I think I look like a crazy cockatoo, if you ask me.
"Thank you," I say and I notice I'm in my grey, extra large tshirt that reaches the middle of my thighs. I'm wearing no shorts underneath but he can't see below my waist. My hair is unruly with my curls running wildly down my shoulders and face. He's in a black vest and I can see his huge biceps.
I swallow hard.
"You okay, Bailey?" he breaks the silence.
"I'm fine, Stone." I think I like it when he call me Bailey. "Why did you use my surname?"
"I don't know... It just happened. Don't you like it?" he asks, his eyes are on me.
"I love it. It's okay," I say without hesitation and I can see him smile and I smile back. "Can I come over? To study, I mean."
"Cool, I was also studying," he says.
"Okay, I'll be there in a few." Then I hang up and he closes his curtains, so do I.
I take a shower quickly and wear my grey sweatpants and sweatshirt. Sneakers for my feet, a coat and a beanie to keep me warm. When I'm about to leave my room Roxy speaks from under the comforter.
"Use condoms," she whispers.
I gasp and run over towards the bed and smack her bum as hard as I can.
"Ouch!" she yells and sits upright.
"Bitch, I'm not having sex at 5am!" I know she's joking. "And certainly not with Scott. Blake and I are together," whisper so as not to wake my parents up.
"I'm just messing with you, babe," Roxy says.
"I know," I say and leave the room immediately. It's a few minutes past 6am and it's still dark when I open the front door. Cold air hits my face and I shiver.
"It's so darn cold," I tell myself, closing the door behind me and crossing the lawn. At his door I knock and in a few seconds he opens up. He's still in his vest, and below he's in black sweatpants. He's holding a mug of coffee in one hand.
"Come on in," he says huskily and takes a sip as I pass him. When he closes the door, I turn to face him and he smiles.
"What?" I ask while shrugging at the same time.
"Where are your books?" he asks and my eyes widen.
Darn it! I forgot my books and here I am at a guy's house very early in the morning. Shame on me.
"Uhm.. I err, forgot them, but we can use yours right? I just need a pen and paper." I scratch my forehead.
"Sure. Make yourself comfortable," he says and goes into the kitchen. The entire house has the sweet smell of freshly brewed coffee and I inhale deeply as I sit on the couch. Scott comes back with another mug of coffee and hands it to me. I place it on the coffee table carefully.
"Thanks," I say. On the coffee table, his laptop is on and I can see some weird coding that I don't understand.
"What's this?" I ask him and he sighs, sitting next to me.
"Well, there's something you need to know," he pauses, "Before we moved here I studied IT, I did alot of coding, hacking and cracking, Kye used to help me with that. I'm sorry I've never told you about that. I'm just not used to talking about myself that much."
"Wow, that's amazing. Sounds very interesting and it's okay, I understand though. Must be cool knowing all of this, right?" I ask and he shrugs.
"Yeah. I was also a rugby player at the barracks." He takes a sip avoiding eye contact and I gasp.
I am surprised to be honest. My jaw drops and the only thing I'm doing is staring at him, blinking slowly. My eyes move to his huge biceps, that's proof that he's played rugby before. My eyes move to his eyes next, he's looking at me.
"Say something," he says and reaches out then takes my hand. I look at the way he's holding my hand, then I look at him.
"I... I just don't know what to say. Why didn't you tell me this?" I ask as I stare back at him.
"Kyrah, I don't like talking about it. I don't like talking about my life at the barracks, after my mom and dad divorced and she left, everything became so difficult and I–"
"Hey, it's okay, you don't have to talk about it if you're not comfortable. I understand. I'm sorry," I say, pulling him into a hug. "But you can always tell me anything. I'll always be ready to listen."
He sighs and one of his hands moves from my back to cup the back of my head. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I become more alert.
When I pull back from our little hug, our eyes lock and there goes that unexplainable spell that happens whenever he looks at me. My heart is racing very fast and my skin is very hot. I'm burning up, I want to reduce these clothes. It's getting so hot in here that I can't seem to breathe. So I take off my coat and notice that he's still looking at me.
He cups both my cheeks, and his expression changes. He looks worried. Why is he worried?
Why is everything blurry?
"Kyrah, are you okay? Can you breathe?" his eyes go wide.
"A little..." my voice trails off.
"Just like I taught you last time. Breathe with me. In..." I inhale. "Out..." I exhale. "In... Out."
"It's too hot," I say and he looks confused.
"It's not hot to me but... Let me help you," he takes off my beanie. He then goes to the AC and lowers the temperature a little.
When he comes back I feel alot better.
"How are you feeling now?" he asks, his thumb caressing my upper arm.
"I'm okay. I hate it though. I hate it that I always end up losing my breath and fainting when I'm actually not supposed to. It's like I really can't help myself at all. Although it only became worse this year, I'm scared, Scott," I say and he hugs me gently.
"I'm sorry you have to go through that. You just have to be strong enough and fight that feeling back," he says.
"How? How can I do that?" I ask and he lifts my chin up so that I can face him.
"Something else you should know... I used to have panic attacks after my mum left. Dad wanted me to start training with the soldiers at the barracks in order to forget about mom but, I got more scared and each time I was to do a tough task, I just suddenly couldn't see anything. Everything turned pitch black and I couldn't breathe. One day, I had had enough of it. Whenever I couldn't breathe, I just thought of my mom and breathed in and out slowly," he calmly says as his hand moves up and down my back and I lean onto his chest.
"Just like you showed me," I say and he nods.
"Yeah. You can do it too. Think of something or someone that makes you happy, try to divert yourself and your mind from the trigger then take deep breaths slowly," he informs me.
I sigh and he wraps his strong arms around me even more tighter.
"I guess we'll start studying a few hours later maybe?" I ask him as I look up into his eyes.
"Yeah and oh, I've got your favorite drink, Mountain Dew." He hides a smile and I nod.
"I could definitely need that before I start studying," I say and smile when he gets up and heads to the kitchen then I notice I haven't had my coffee yet. Oh well.