Chapter 39

Aiden


“ Oh, Elder Ross. What was my time?” Lexi asked. He looks at the watches and announces “ Lexi, you were at seven minutes thirty-five seconds. You cut your previous time by three minutes twenty-five seconds.” Ross said. Lexi does some sort of little victory dance wiggling her hips saying “ I won. I won.” Everyone is laughing at her antics. It is cute as hell. But I’m curious as to what she won. “ Lexi, dear. What did you win?” Alpha asked.

Lexi turns “ Luther promised if I cut my time down by thirty seconds he would show me Diesel.” “ To be fair I was going to do it anyway.” Luther said, coming over, putting his arm around her shoulder. Lexi leans in to him. I don’t think she even notices she is doing it. I would have felt I was being ignored but I know Lexi isn’t like that. I think in her excitement she just didn’t see me. I was a little to the side of Alpha.

“ Lexi, you have a visitor.” Alpha said. I stepped forward just as Lexi turns. “ Oh, Aiden. Hi. I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.” she says. I can tell she is embarrassed. “ No worries. I know you weren’t expecting me.” I told her. “ So what can we do for you, Aiden?” Luther asked. I see him tighten his grip on Lexi pulling her closer. I understand his reaction so I’m not going to let it get to me. He is protecting her as a good mate would do. “ I was hoping I could talk to Lexi for a few minutes.” I told them.

“ Umm” Lexi looks at Elder Ross. “ You are do for a break.” he told her. Lexi looks up at Luther and he tells her “ Only if you want to.” Lexi nods “ I can give you a couple of minutes. Can you say it here? Or?” Lexi left the question up in the air for me to answer if I wanted privacy. I had initially planned to do this in private but now I think this might work to my advantage. “ No Lexi here is fine. I want you to be comfortable.” I told her.

“ I came over to see if you would go on a date with me.” I said. I could feel my heart in my throat while I waited for an answer. “ I’m sorry. A date?” Lexi asked. She is clearly confused and I don’t blame her. “ Lexi, I’m not embarrassed to say this in front of all these people. I fucked up. I made assumptions I shouldn’t have. I gave up a gift I was given based on what I thought I was doing the right thing. I made a huge mistake. And I am sorry. I would like a chance to prove to you I can be the mate worthy of you.” I said.

I saw Lexi’s glow fluctuate between several different shades of blue and green. But I didn’t let it stop me. I wasn’t feeling anything major off of her other than mixed emotions. Confusion, interest, a little lust, and a little anger. I continued, “ I said some harsh things to you. But the truth is Lexi, I’m the one who isn’t worthy of you. If you are willing to give me even the slightest chance I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. For now one date is all I ask so I can start to prove how sincere I am. I know my words aren’t going to be enough. So let me show you in actions.” I told her. I was prepared to get on my knees and beg if I had to.

Lexi
I look at Aiden standing in front of me and I don’t know what to think. He said he regretted what he said. He regretted rejecting me. He wanted to make this right between us. I had all sorts of thoughts running through my head. But one stuck out the most. “ Why now?” I asked. “ What changed your mind?” I asked. I’m going with my instincts here. I wasn’t good enough for Aiden before when he thought I was just an odd glowing human. “ I get it. You are suspicious of my actions. You have every right to be. And you have no right to trust me. I’m just asking for a chance to earn your trust. Your respect. And hopefully one day, your love.” Aiden said.
“ So you find out that I’m more than human. That I have a wolf and some powers. That I’m supposed to be this great champion of wolves,shifters and now I’m good enough. You now think your pack will accept me.” I said. I was getting angry but was trying hard to control it. The last thing I needed was to project it out and have over a hundred angry wolves. And their target would be Aiden. I could feel Luther behind me growling. I took several deep breaths to calm myself. I knew I was close to the truth about Aiden’s sudden change of mind.

“ Some of that is true, yes. I won’t lie to you. The more I heard about you the more I realized what I gave away. But there were other factors.” Aiden said. I wasn’t interested in what I already knew. I was curious about the other factors. “ Like what?” I asked. “ Like that even before my parents met you they had accepted you. They tried to talk me out of rejecting you. They wouldn’t even tell me how to do it. I have to go look it up. And the way Jesse bonded with you. Especially his wolf. Same as Melissa and Jackson. I should have a clue then but I was too stupid or blind to see it. I also didn’t understand what a ripple effect my rejection would have.” Aiden said.

“ What do you mean? Ripple effect?” I asked. What was he talking about? Aiden goes on to explain how by rejecting him his pack would lose a powerful Luna. His parents will lose a daughter and any pups we have. Jesse, Melissa and Jackson would lose their guardian positions. Something I knew could happen but didn’t want to think about. “ Then there is me. And Razor. The bond. I miss you when you are not around. I miss your laugh. Your scent. And so does Razor. Once this rejection is done I will never get to feel those sparks again. I never get to hold you in my arms like Luther does. I will never know what it feels like to kiss you or hold your hand. I won’t get to find out what your favorite color is or favorite movie. I won’t ever get to know if you prefer salty or sweet snacks. And everytime I think about the rejection my chest hurts. It literally hurts my heart to think about it” Aiden said.

It sounds like he has put a lot of thought into this. And he seems to feel remorse for what he did. But I’m not going to give in just jump into his arms forgiving him. He hurt me. Luther told me I felt it more because of the bond. And I hate to admit it but I still feel the bond. I want to reach out to him because he looks so sad. But I can give in that easily. “ You said this is affecting Razor. Could I talk to him? I would like to hear his point of view.” I explained. But that was only half true. I missed Razor and just wanted to talk to him. I missed him more than Aiden.

Aiden nods and I watch his eyes change. I can tell when Razor takes over which is weird I didn’t think I would. But it is his smile when he sees me. It is different from when Aiden smiles. When Razor does it I can see pure joy and it even lights up his eyes. “ Hello again my beauty.” he said. I can’t help but smile at him. “ It is good to see you Razor.” I said as I walked closer to him. When it was Aiden I kept my distance. With Razor I don’t want to. I look over my shoulder at Luther to make sure he is okay with what I’m doing. I don’t want any jealousy. We all know I have two mates that are going to have to work together but I don’t have to make it difficult for them.

Luther smirks and nods letting me know he is fine. Oh my sweet understanding mate. I’m going to have to do something nice for him to thank him for being so understanding.When I’m in front of Razor I hold my arms out. “ Can I?” I ask. Razor has me in his arms and my head on his chest in a blink of an eye. Razor buries his head in my neck and breaths deep. Luther has done this several times before and explained it was a way to calm both the human and wolf side.

“ I never thought I would get to do this.” Razor says. I can hear the melancholy in his voice and I don’t like it. I tighten my arms around him. I breathe him in like he did me. I get a calming effect. I guess it is what they feel. I like it. “ I have missed you, Razor.” I told him. “ I miss you too.” he said. “ Aiden said you asked for me?” he asked. “ Yes, I don’t know how much you heard Aiden say but I wanted to know how you felt. He said the rejection is affecting you.” I told him. “ It is. It has been worse lately. Even when I’m not near you I can feel the changes happening to you. I know the rejection is coming soon. And it hurts worse as the time gets closer.” Razor said.


“ This is going to hurt you badly isn’t it.” I asked. “ More than you know. It isn’t going to be me that helps you through your first shift. I won’t be by your side when she shows herself to the world the first time. It won’t be my mark she bares.” Razor said. The more he talked the sadder he sounded. I pulled back to look at him. “ Razor this is really eating at you isn’t it?” I asked. “ Yes, my beauty, it is. It breaks my heart every day.” he says.

“ Are you aware of what Aiden is asking?” I inquired. “ I am.” Razor said. “ Razor, what would you say if I took Aiden up on his offer? For you. I would try to get to know Aiden and spend more time with you. And if I find I can tolerate him maybe we can forgo this rejection thing. Who knows, maybe in time I will even like him.” I asked him. Don’t ask me why I came up with this. I’m just not ready to let Razor go. I don’t know if I ever will. Is it possible to bond with the wolf more than the human?