Chapter 101
The look on my father's face was pure love and joy now which must have been because it was all out in the open now and he could fully process it all now instead of thinking about it. I crossed my fingers and heart hoping that him and my mother would work it all out and he would move back home when we got back home. Dinner was amazing with all of us drinking except me and my mother who stuck with sparkling apple juice but did not mind watching everyone else getting hammered.
Our trip in Europe seemed to fly by quick with me, Savannah, and Bruce having fun at the student mixer that Oxford had for the students arriving early. It of course was full of hot dudes and chicks for my aunt and uncle to hit on. Savannah had signed a total of 5 new clients before leaving Europe and being excited to be offered expanding her agency in London. Bruce had made a few connections himself with most of them being lonely housewives with money to spend which made him happy to possibly be coming back for work. The flight home was smooth and full of love and happiness as my parents had decided to work on their relationship but do it while living apart. My father wanted them to remember how it was when they were first in love and living at home or college away from one another. I had been pretty happy but missing my friends as I had been so busy with my lists and family. Keeping me so busy that I didn't even get a chance to talk to anyone since that Sunday night when I had talked to Sharene before bed. I had also been busy with my dreams and learning more every day that I could do but had been so exhausted and thinking about school that I did not want to take on anymore at the moment.
Ethan and my grandmothers made the transition easy enough for me and hoped to be learning more things about our family history. Especially now that I had a list of things to look for at libraries and on the internet. Some things would have to come from books they had left behind but was told I would have to be willing to take on the task of our family legacy before they would give them to me. "There's a whole big thing and once you agree to it then you'll inherit it all, but remember everything comes at a price. It is just how things go for us Kingmere's and our family tree.." "Oh, that's an understatement mother...." My great grand-mother Mia and grandmother, Amelia were like to old ladies arguing about whatever they argued about. "So, what now... I become a Kingmere changing my last name or hyphenate it?... not sure father would like that all too well so that'll be fun to discuss with him at a later date" I said thinking about the possibility of my name change.
We were on our way home from the airport and I was feeling the jetlag which made me act out. "Hey daddy how would you feel if I hyphenated my last name to share yours and mommys?" I asked out of nowhere causing my parents to gasp out loud. "Ummm well I mean I don't know it would be different if you were getting married but even when that happens.. I'd want you to keep my name regardless... you are my baby girl" he said looking back at me. I raised a brow since I would not be his little baby much longer but would be his little girl always. After all I knew it was a boy but did not share that part. "Hmmm well not for long you have another coming in about 8 months...." I could not help but laugh when he cut me off with a growl and knew what he was thinking thanks to my mind reading abilities. It took me a min to get out of the SUV when I knew my father would not be staying with us. Yet we would not be alone since we now had our security team in the guest house out back. That change came the minute that my father had moved out.
My mother made me get out so that her and my father could have their time together before he left. "Fine, so I guess you'll be here Monday to go with to the university of South Carolina. Then we go Tuesday to CT and MA then to NY 2 weeks before the deadline so yea busy next couple of weeks. If you can't take that much time off it's, ok I can go alone" I said before closing the door. My father smiled "I'm coming to them all, I already told you this whole summer is all about us.... I know I've had to take a couple calls but I'm doing my best on the rest" he said kissing me goodnight. My room had seemed so small all of a sudden after being at the beach house and having a room twice as big and a room even bigger in London for a week. The only thing I had missed was my bed that felt perfect and smelled so good of clean linen and my favorite softener that the housekeeper used. I was enjoying my bed when my mother found me and climbed into the bed "Sooooo…. we need to talk, and your father thinks that it should be now rather than later and alone since he and grandpa know already. We are alone and no one around to be nosey so I agreed with him that whatever it, is should be done now before we start our weekend. Considering your father asked if I wanted to get away with him for the next few days alone just the two of us" she said biting her bottom lip.
My father knew when to back me up into a corner and I thought about it and knew what he wanted me to say but wasn't sure it was a good idea. As my mother was so very newly pregnant and would now be going away for a good trip with my father. "Hmm I'm not sure this is the right time you are only like a month prego and daddy is taking you away for a romantic weekend.... but I get his reasoning and he should have thought about the current situation with more stress on the body it can cause your body to reject the baby and I don't want that to happen, do you?" I asked but already knowing she would just stress more now if I did not tell her. After a few more minutes I moved from the bed and went to the closet to pull out my baby girls, box to show my mother, along with the other items I had saved from the trash years ago. I sat the boxes on the bed and paced the floor next to my bed trying to figure out what to say first. "Go through the boxes and then tell her the rest maybe leaving the most important part until after her and my father come back?" I thought to myself hoping to get help from the other side but only got my mother's thoughts going along with mine. "Not sure what could be so bad that she won't just tell me instead she's acting like she killed someone..." I wasn't thinking as I turned around and responded to her "Can you not think so hard.... and it's just more shit to add on top of the pile that you and everyone already know except this little extra part."
My mother looked at me like now I had grown two heads and how I could possibly know what she was thinking. I finally took a deep breath and sat on the bed taking Ethan's box first and taking the lid off slowly. I did not bother to look at my mother as I looked inside taking the blanket out first and handing it to her. I heard her breathing change and kept my eyes on the box as I took out the baby book that held everything from my brothers’ umbilical cord piece to his first haircut. The words my parents put into the book along with the announcement of our birth and death along with it all. My mother was now sobbing as she held the book to her chest in sadness, pain but most of all happy to see it all again. "I—I knew one day you'd regret tossing it in the garbage. I planned on one day returning it to you, but kept it hidden, but it's what kept me connected to him after you told me to never say his name... or say that I could see him and hear him... as we both know that only stopped after you did what you did... not judging" I whispered with my hands in the air as she looked at me as though she might flip her top again.
As the silence became almost too much, again I went on doing my best to explain everything and still hesitating. "This I haven't even told father about, yet he doesn't know that I have all this along with a few things that you made him throw out as well.... like the night light, baseball stuff. He was going to be dads little ball player. Ya didn't matter I guess I've been in every sport, dance, ballet, anything and everything to make you both happy even though you no longer had a son....so I guess if you're still up for the rest I can keep going or we finish..." "No I—I need it all now... I know we both have a lot of demons and getting them out is what's going to help us all heal together..." my mother said as she started to calm herself down. I was doing my best to not cave in and let my emotions get the better of me when I had yet to look in the box since the first time, I put it together. "This is much harder for me then.... I thought it might be as I never thought I'd be telling anyone, but here we go.... ummm again father doesn't know about this box either but knows the other stuff. After all lets’ not, forget I had to get it all out while we were supposed to have a great summer. Then it got ruined and I guess that’s my fault too but whatever and then I had to tell him and pops the reason behind a storage fee, I pay monthly that is pretty expensive..." I stopped talking as I took out the girls, baby book that held photos and writing along with their hats from the hospital and umbilical cords.
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