Book 2: In The Life of Mia: College: Chapter 15
My father was watching us the whole time, but didn't say anything as I got in and Ralph headed back to my parents, house where now more people waited since it was my mother's sister, and father with his wife still with us along with Sharene's parents and in-laws, and my father's side which now included an extra body who was my old bodyguard Sebastian. The anxiety level was becoming apparent and not only to me but my father and Ralph who both watched me as I twisted my hands together and tapped my foot on the floor. "Sorry I am just tired and really could use a nice hot bath and my bed, so if it's alright I will turn in after dinner. I just really need it after such a long day and now this with now having to find balls to call Maxwell and his parents.... I'm more then positive that you and whoever else goes in there has seen the notes from Maxwell shoved in the little cracks of the coffins. I need to try my best and make sure that he is able to move on from this, not that anyone will truly move on from the fact that our daughters are dead.... I just want the healing to start for them and I don't think it's been that easy since he feels that he needs to be angry at himself and the world for what happened. Yes, it's his fault but at some point, he needs to forgive himself and take my sincere forgiveness and let it in so he can heal. I know you might be thinking I'm crazy and that I shouldn't care if he's miserable but we've known each-other since like toddler age and I just feel that I owe it to...." "DAMN IT MIA....honey you don't owe him shit... you should not have to be the one to call them up and check on them they should be calling you and seeing how you are.. they all don't have balls considering they couldn't even show up at the funeral instead they waited a week before going. Your mother and I had just left and Ralph fael said they had been watching and waiting until we left to go in, so don't have pity for any of them..." my father's tone was that of anger mixed with pain and it hurt me to see him that way.
Before Ralph opened our doors to let us out I cupped my fathers’ hand in mine and leaned my head against his arm. "Ok, look I'm sorry for upsetting you..but I'm still going to reach out and from a distance so relax. I just need to do this I feel that it's my responsibility whether you or anyone else see it that way...." "Ok, Mia you do what you need to do but I can't stand behind you on this one. I'm sorry but this is as far as I go where they are concerned. You better not tell your mother about this because it's been hard enough on her having to give up that friendship but did it because of the whole thing with them. It is something she has come to live with even though she shouldn't have to but did it because she loves you too much to go through that again" my father just couldn't help himself as he blew up at me. I finally just stopped talking and Ralph gave me the look of “Would You STOP now!” but was not sure if it was because of my father or because I opened my mouth and pissed them both off now. "Sorry" I mouthed to him knowing now he would be getting the back lash of my father's anger instead of him taking it out on me.
Ralph could not even get to my father's door fast enough when he opened it himself and walked inside slamming the door loud enough for us both to shiver. "Oh boy it's worse than I thought it might get.... No more bringing this up to him at least for now he's just.. it's to new and he's raw inside from it. Just like your mother he had to end his friendship with Brad and the family he thought would come together as one someday" he tries to sooth me as he closed the doors and armed the SUV. He quickly disappeared after we made it inside and I was sure he was in sure of my father now to see if he could help him in any way. I had taken my heels off in the SUV and carried them into the house feeling much smaller even though I still stood taller than everyone in the house. I could hear Madeline crying somewhere in the house but wasn't sure exactly where until I made it to my room to drop off my shoes and change into something more comfortable and there was now a crib in the room and Madeline, but no Sharene. "Well what do we have here.... I do believe I spy a little girl in a crib in a room that did not have either one it when I left this morning... where is your mommy at...." "Right behind you with a drink" Sharene had startled us both coming in the room. I laughed and headed into the closet to change with Sharene right behind me step for step. "So what was the slamming of the door all about? Your mother tried to go in the office and talk to your father, but he just said it was something to do with business and left him be. I figured I'd bring you this and see if there was anything, I could do for either one of you since I am however working for you..."
Sharene stopped talking when I started stripping down to get more comfortable. "Shar, it's nothing really he has his head somewhere else right now and as for me I'm fine.. I had Raf stop at the cemetery since we were driving by it anyways and that's it. I have no idea if he had something business related while I was there and he stayed in the vehicle, so you can run and tell my mother that there is nothing to report" I snap back at her knowing my mother must have sent her. Sharene gasped and I knew by the way she did it that she truly was just there to offer me support and not my mother's little watch dog which made me feel bad and turn around before she could walk away. "I'm sorry, I just assumed since it's my mother's M.O to have my own friends come and get the scoop that.... that's what you were doing. I'm truly sorry just have a lot on my mind right now including why the hell you and mother left the way you did from the restaurant, for her I'm sure it was something I said as for you not sure if it was because you wanted to keep her calm or if I said something that offended you" I was now just in my panties and bra and took the offered drink. "It was a little of both, but it's not that big of a deal... hope you don't mind that I had the crib put in here since this is where you are and I don't want to spend our last 2 nights away from one another. If her being in here doesn't work for you I can always have her in the other room next door that is closer so I don't have to sprint down the hall for her" she smiles as she watches me sip my very strong drink.
Sharene placed her free hand on my rib cage rubbing her hands over the tattoo again and wondered why she had been so drawn to it. "What is your thing with my tattoo? You have some and of course I love them and you but for some reason you are really on mine..." "I was thinking that ummm.... how do you feel about adding another foot and hand to that or adding to it in the future... but I also want to ask if it would be ok to put the girls prints on me somewhere?" she asks with nervousness. Sharene had just dropped a bomb on me about adding my children's prints to her body after asking if I would add to mine now or in the future and was now waiting for an answer. "I--I ummm well depends on what you are asking, as for the girls prints to be on you... well first I'd ask why what's the reasoning, 2nd it's very perm and are you sure you want to do that?" I try to really figure it out and find it really sweet that she would want to do it which made me love her even more. She looked at me as though she had said something wrong and was about to cry. "I'm sorry I just thought.... you keep a lot from me, and I don't ask questions even though I want, but don’t since I am so fucking in love with you... I am the one who has the issue of being on the outside and I guess I just want to find a way to be part of you in any way you let me and in a way that no one else. I was hoping if you are up for adding to the tattoo you'd want to put Maddie's hand and foot there too.." she sniffles brushing her fingertips across the tattoo again.
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