Chapter 91
Everyone had stopped and looked at us with Catherine trying to pull away from me more than once, but my strength and build gave me the upper hand. "If you'd all excuse us while Greta finishes up the last few things for dinner I need for Cate and, I to talk" I said picking Catherine up and swinging her over my shoulder heading off to the guest house. I didn't bother waiting for anyone to answer since I was already 1/2 way to the guest house. I carried Catherine to the guest bedroom where there was not a balcony for her to run out of and scurry down the side of the pipe. I closed and locked the door finally putting her down as she was flailing all around the whole way. I knew I was in for a rude awakening when I let her go and she was swinging arms, hands, and legs at me. "Jesus you can't just handle people like this... you have me here against my will... you don't even care about your friends so why drag me up here? If it's the guilt that you're feeling or the fact that the guys and I leave in a couple of days... well that's on you and you have to live with it now" she screamed at me as tears streamed down her face.
Catherine’s words hurt and even though I wanted to talk I did not want her to think I was making her do things she did not want to do. Stepping away from the door I waited for her to go as I walked toward the window and looked out toward the water. She did not leave like I thought she would, but she did not say a word and that was my opening. "I already apologized Cate and I'm tired of feeling like this... but it's not guilt anymore it's pain that I might lose the best friends, brothers, girl I ever had. Yes, and I know I only have myself to blame... to be real, clear and honest though you can't tell me there is not one thing you've kept from me? Because if you even try to say no I'll catch you in the lie real, quick" I said knowing that she kept lots of things from me especially how she felt about me. Catherine backed away from the door and sat in the chair just behind me "I would have never kept something like what you kept from us.. even if you did tell me, it would have only been between us. Yet you didn't trust me enough to tell me. I could have been there for you instead you felt you had to do it alone because you didn't want us disappointed in the fact that you took that piece of shit back! So that's what hurts the most on our ends but most of all, mine. Because we've been best friends since practically birth and my fucking heart is broken!" She said with her voice fading off as she tried not to cry.
Catherine of course was right, but I kept my back to her knowing if I turned, around she would only flee. I needed her to talk to me so we could get things back on track or at least to a new stage and not angry with one another. "It's not your disappointment that would have hurt me the most, it was my own because I was the one who took him back and kept making excuses to myself in why I did it. Then I got pregnant and knew I had to protect them first and yet I couldn't because he wouldn't take no for an answer... trust me I didn't want to be alone but that truth was I had already made the choice and had to deal with it and continue to take the guilt and pain. Trust me I know the pain you are all feeling right now, betrayal... left out... and probably even a little guilty for feeling that I couldn't tell you what was happening. Please trust me I take just as much if not more guilt, pain, because I am punishing myself every day. I'm doing my best to heal from the inside out and forgive myself. It's slowly working, but I need to make sure that before we all leave here that I did everything I could and didn't leave anything unsaid" I was completely calm and cool on the outside as I spoke.
The truth was though I was flipping out inside knowing that this was it and it would either break us all apart or make us even stronger but the possibility of not even trying made me sick. Catherine was sobbing by the time I finished, and I hated it that I had made her cry and felt so helpless, and I was just standing there trying to keep my own shit together. Taking a deep breath, I turned around and faced in her direction. I did not move until she gave me some type of sign that she would not run and would let me get closer to her. I took half a step, and she was on her feet causing me to stop dead in my tracks and raising my hands to show her I would not get any closer. All while my heart beating so fast, I thought for sure she could see it through my thin shirt. "I—I am sorry.... I know maybe it's hard for you all to believe that but I...." one mins she was feet away from me and the next she had her arms wrapped around me and sobbing more and shaking us both with the power of it. I slowly put my hands down and wrapped my arms around her holding her closer, tighter than I ever had not wanting for this to ever be the last time we did it.
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
