Chapter 105
I knew she was only feeling the way she was feeling because her and Maxwell's parents were close friends. "Hmmmm well yes you are right in that aspect, but I just want Max to be out of my life forever. It'll be hard to do since these two are here and I haven't even dared look at this box since I put it in the safe and have not been to the genetic place ever. I just get the bill and pay it and I get letters from the company’s owner and president. To remind me that I have every right to visit them any time I want" I said answering my mothers’ questions even if she had yet to actually say them only thought them. Catherine was still in such shock which was new for me she usually was yelling at me or leaving me. So, I was careful not to trigger those reactions. "Sooo that's why you refused to come to that baby shower for my cousin or even hold the baby when they'd been at the house those few times?" Catherine asked with such pain and in turn hurt me more.
By midnight my mother had finally left us and the moment she did Catherine was on her feet looking as though she might leave me too. I sat at the edge of my bed praying she would stay but knew I would have to let her leave if that's what she wanted to do. A minute later she had left and left the door wide open letting me watch her go without a single word. I wanted to run to her and beg for her forgiveness and not to leave me while I was so open and raw. I got to my feet as I heard her feet hit the marbled floor at the bottom of the steps. Then watched as she did not look back just opened the front door and left again. "Mia.... it's okay angel, everyone just needs their own time to process this all. It might not be as soon as you'd like, but you have to let it all play out. You can’t stop your life so keep going on with your life and growing into the person you want to be" Amelia my great grandmother said as she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close with my back against her chest. I waited a heartbeat longer to just see if Catherine would come back and there was nothing. So, I closed my door and headed into the bathroom for a quick shower before going to bed.
My heart was truly breaking and with no place to be or anything the following day I took my sweet time in the shower. Not to mention it was keeping me warm on the outside even though inside, I was falling apart and freezing. I looked up when I heard my name being whispered and found Catherine naked just outside the shower door. I stood from the bench and walked to the door opening it wide showing her that she was welcome to join me. I turned around and turned on the other faucet just in case she didn't want to share mine. I was hoping she would just give in and let us heal the way we had grown to the last month. We had not had any sexual relations since we had the 3-some with Sebastian. I was not sure if she ever wanted to be with me like that again or just tease me with it. "I—I thought you..... you left me.... I wasn't sure...." "Shhhh just shh don't say anything else right now" Catherine said cutting me off and finally joining me in the shower. Closing the door, she stood under the other shower head and just looked at me moving her eyes up and down my body. She stopped at areas that I was not sure she was looking at until she sank to the tile floor of the shower on her knees and crawled to me.
Catherine had stayed sitting on her knees and looking up at me as she slowly moved her hands from my feet up my legs and then held on tight to my hips. Before moving them again slowly up and placing her hands on my belly and rubbing in circles. "I'm sorry.... Sorry that you thought you could not tell me about this... I would have been there for you, and you would have never needed to be alone. I’m sure that's my fault since I did tell you after the last time or what I thought was the last time you went back to MAX... that you'd be on your own. I didn't want to have to get the news you were dead one day.... yet I guess a little piece of you did die that day you gave birth and you were all alone....." she was now sobbing uncontrollably. I took her wrists in my hands and pulled her up and into my lap holding her lightly not wanting her to leave again. "Please don't cry.... I just... this is why I've kept it to myself, yet my parents had to ruin it and now I'm feeling like an ass...shhh I've got you" I whispered in her ear hoping she would grasp onto my voice and start to calm down as she was sobbing so hard.
I hated that she was crying and knew my mother would have probably cried herself to sleep as well. My heart was starting to ache wishing I could turn back time so that this would have stayed buried for the rest of my life. "For fuck, sake I blame the 3 of you up there.... you had to fuck up my world and the people who mean the most to me... you just want me raw and open for whatever it is that I have yet to learn. Except this shit about entering peoples, streams of dreams and all that shit and read their fucking thoughts which is a heavy feeling... Catherine is in-love with me, yet I don't know how I feel yet. To be honest I just believe it's good to be alone for the rest of my life with all this shit. Along with what I have inherited since I'm going to break and take the gift as it is and whatever it is" I said talking to them inside my head. My body had started to somehow change giving me strength to be strong for my best friend. I held her tighter promising I would never leave her out again. "Now I guess I leave it in your hands to decide where we go from here and if you want to forgive me for not telling you about all this. Just remember I can't do anything about it now and all we can do is move on either as friends or not....." Catherine kissed me hard on the mouth finding a weakness in me as I opened just enough for her to slide her soft gentle tongue inside.
Catherine was still crying but at least not sobbing as we kissed, and our emotions melted into us getting stronger the more we touched one another. I was not thinking as clear as I should have been knowing her feelings for me were more than mine for her. As my thoughts were all over the place along with the moment we were sharing. 45 mins later we were both left panting on the shower floor with the showers still going and the two of us just staring up at the ceiling of the shower not saying a word to one another. I slowly rose to a sitting position and started to clean up now that I was dirty again. I hated the feeling of being dirty before I went to bed. "Wow.... well that was probably the best yet...." Catherine said as she too finally sat up facing me as she let her shower run down over her while she washed up along with me.
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