Book 2: In the Life of Mia: College Chapter 56
Leona put up a hand and I finally gave her a hand up but planting my feet good just in-case she had other ideas. “Anyways I come here a lot to clear my head when the basement doesn’t work for my head clearing …. I guess it’s what I needed now since I wasn’t expecting to bring you all the way up here” she dusted herself off before turning her back to me and facing the beauty that was the meadow and the other mountain peaks. I stepped up closer to her side after looking at Bailey and Lola who were watching us but had stepped back a little to give us a little privacy. I did not say another word just stood next to her with my hands in my jacket pockets and enjoyed the silence for what it was since the nature was still very much going. “I’m sorry that I took off like that away from the station and was so weird when we ran into Vic, we had dated for a bit and he’s still a pain and calls from time to time… I usually end up giving in and we have a one night-er which I’m not proud of but I put my foot down the last time and I haven’t gave into him in months which is a real big deal for me” she refused to look at me as she spoke in a now calm and low tone. I did not respond just stood there listening to her and what was on her mind not wanting to make it seem like I was a horrible person when things had been all about me lately.
We made it back to the house by 5:59 pm and I was finally feeling tired after now being up 24 some odd hours and hoped I would be able to sleep through the night since the place was still new. Chef Rocco had made a comfort food of mine which was mac ‘n cheese along with homemade mashed potatoes, grilled chicken and for desert bread pudding. “OMG…. Yes, just what I needed for sure Rocco thank you so much… hope it tastes as good as it smells and a little of home…” I was so much calmer now coming into the kitchen after leaving Leona to take care of whatever she needed before dinner. Rocco smiled and held the spoon aloft and I was all for it and found my way to the counter and tried all the dishes including the bread pudding that was just coming out of the oven. “OMG….ok now that is better than any chef that’s ever prepared it since my mother stopped… making it for me” I could not help, but remember from the last time. I thanked him and moved to the bedroom taking my time to clean up and just get a little alone time and found myself on my bed with Sharene’s night shirt and Madeline’s blanket in my lap. I had smelled them and was afraid of losing the smell after already losing them and the next thing I knew I was texting her “Hi… hope this is still a good number for you… I just wanted to see how you and Maddie were doing…I’ve been told you moved out of the house which I wish you would not have, but I understand since I now no longer live at my house. I rented it out to some college friends leaving everything you and mother bought to decorate and furnished it with… not able to look at it all and feeling my heart breaking”
Sharene did not respond and after a good 20 mins I put my phone on its charger and curled up on the bed with the night shirt and blanket next to me and cried myself to sleep. “Mia…..” I heard my name being called out and I was not sure where it was coming from or if it was in a dream state or outside of it. “Mia, wake up…. dinner is ready….” Leona’s soft gentle voice was now registering my brain to who was there and where I was. I made some type of grumbling sound and Leona sat on the edge of the bed on the opposite side looking at me and then at the items on the bed and gave me the look that I had seen by many people before. “It’ll get easier…. I’m here if you ever want to talk about it…” “It’s just too hard and I warned her many times that I’d never be able to do it…” I stopped and rolled over finally sitting up. “Come on let’s just get this dinner over with so I can go back to bed because there is absolutely nothing I can do about yesterday or even last year… if I could probably wouldn’t be as fucked up as I am now” I shrugged getting up and walking out of the room. Leona was behind me in mins gripping my wrist and twisting me around quickly. “I know how it feels, the pain, the wanting to give that one person everything including the things that don’t make sense… I just turned 29 and I’ve been on my own since I was 16 years old with no family… I looked for love in all the wrong places and in all the wrong people and yet I found the strength to get up day after day and keep moving on” she had me tight and looking deep into my eyes.
We both just stood there getting lost in one another’s eyes and trying to read one another that the electricity crackled so heavy in the air. “Damn…. I still can’t even hear what you are thinking” Leona frowned and hissing through her teeth. I sighed and felt the exact same way but did not comment just sagged against the wall with my feet spread out so that I didn’t fall as my bare feet gripped the hardwood floor. Leona stepped closer into the space that was perfect for her body to fit in closer and gripped the sides of my thighs tight. “I’ll help you get through the pain you are feeling in your heart, mind, body and soul… I am here for you day or night… when you wake from a nightmare, or just can’t sleep…” “Me too I’m glad I did this so that you don’t have to be alone anymore either, it’s got to be lonely and for so long I mean I guess you find a solid ground somewhere in between since you have made it this far. I mean don’t get me wrong I had parents there, but they were checked out as though they weren’t and now, they are doing their best to make up for it. I give them a hard time and punish them a lot which isn’t fare but of course I have years of healing to do not just months…” I stopped as she gripped tighter the more, I spoke. Bailey interrupted us as he had come up the stairs and we had been right there. “Oh, ummm ladies sorry…. Rocco is about to have a fit with his food now getting lukewarm so if you two are ready please come on down and eat” he eyed us both looking at our closeness before turning and walking back down.
Leona leaned in as though she was about to kiss me and with instincts I turned my head, “Shhh, relax I was not going to kiss you….. I just wanted to get closer and give you a hug and tell you that I’m sorry, sorry that there are things in your life that keep you from letting people all the way in… I feel the block myself but also have that same block up and who knows maybe my family on the other side is right and this is the right thing to do for us to learn more about who we are together and what our ancestors passed on to us” she whispered into my ear. I lifted my arms and put them around her neck, and we took it slow as I stood up straighter and away from the wall so she could get her arms around my back. “Thank you….I’m sorry I’m so complicated and trust me I’m working on it and trying my damnedest not to fall to old habits” I whispered back with my head and heart having so many emotions. Dinner had been great with both of us sitting and just feeling in the space with electricity and a few things back and forth joking.
As the night went on, we had found it easier to be with one another and not feel so out of place. We grabbed a movie to watch in the theater room even though I was dog tired, but she had other plans for us. “Now don’t worry I won’t hold it against you if you end up falling asleep…I just really don’t want to be alone right now and having you here makes things a lot better for not only me, but the both of us” she had strolled to the entertainment center and placed the DVD into it’s slot. I had enjoyed watching her get so dang excited as she seemed a lot more relaxed and in her own element now. “I have to admit this isn’t a bad room when it’s filled with so many great movies, comfy chairs and I could really get used to this” I smile as she makes her way back to the reclining movie chairs. She was not bad to look at either, but I also was not about to admit that to her and hopefully not ever since I had really hoped for a good friend and not a sleeping buddy. “Well I have to admit I do love all movies, but for some reason am a suck for foreign films with subtitles even though I can understand about 5 different languages and speak them fluently as well” she was so proud of herself with that tid-bit of information she had just laid out.