Chapter 34
As I walked the hall, I found my room which was the main master room that my parents made me take even though theirs was not that much smaller. Mine though was one that spoke volumes and overlooked the front or bow of the yacht. One that had just amazing architectural parts to it. Then to top it off there was the view that I could not get enough of even if I wanted too. I took a break from the busy day and a quick shower to get the day washed away. 15 mins later I exited the bathroom and not surprised to find my mother sitting in the window seat bench area and waiting for me to emerge. “Hello mother. Yes, I know father I’m sure wants to get me back out there so you can open your gifts. I just needed a down moment to relax and get the sweat of the day off me. Just get a little alone time since I have not gotten much of it. I have a few gifts for you in my bag over there if you want to open them here with just the two of us. I mean that’s what I would like since they are personal, but I do have a bigger gift that should be arriving in the next few days at the house” I said as I slipped on some clothes and out of my robe.
My mother didn’t say anything at first just watched me as though she was seeing me for the first time with pure love and hope in her eyes. I wasn’t always there, but knew she loved me and only wanted the best for me. Once I finally stopped moving around the room and sat on the bench at the end of the bed my mother crossed her legs like a lady and placed her hands over her knee. “You are my best friend, my one and only child still living and I’m not sure if you really realize how much love I have for you which is entirely my fault. I mean I act more like a friend than a mother and I hope it’s not too late to be that for you. Minus not changing the friendship part which means more to me than you’ll ever know. I guess it is confusing because maybe I’m not saying it right or not in the right way. Anyways…. You are my precious little baby still and I guess I still can’t let go of that even though you’re going to be 19 in a few months. Going off to college leaving me behind all in such a short amount of time. I’m scared that once you leave you won’t want to come home. That’ll leave me all alone and that loneliness is what scares me the most” my mother was really letting it all out something she never did keeping everything close to her heart.
It had taken me and all my strength as I listened to my mother talk and talk and talk some more for what had to be at least an hour or longer without interrupting. It was unlike me and knew it was all thanks to my brother who had been there by my side the entire time. “Look at me I’m doing all this talking and you’ve barely said a word. That is so unlike you, but it is much appreciated since usually I nor can anyone else ever get a word in” she giggled and then sniffled as she had been crying here and there as she spoke. I sat Indian style on the bench and put my elbows on my thighs before speaking. “Well, you can thank Ethan for that I think, with him here with us he keeps me grounded. I know how you feel and being lonely when I felt like that most of my life since Ethan died. I hate admitting it and even though I have so many people in my life who love me and care about me….. I still have this whole inside my heart and again a big part of it has to do with Ethan. He’s slowly starting to fill in that whole the more I open myself up to him. Actually….. that’s why I blacked out earlier I had taken a deep breath and cleared my head needing to just let it all be free space up there… and in doing so it was like my past was flashing before my eyes and took me up to the spot before Ethan had died.” I stopped when my mother started sobbing uncontrollably.
A second later my father was barging through the door. “What is going on in here….. damn it Mia….” “NO…. Ethan stop it’s fine…I—I am fine we are just really…..” My mother couldn’t even finish her sentence as my father went to her side. Before I knew it, I had both of my parents sobbing as I told them when Ethan had appeared to me and how I had been feeling since he had. “I’m still trying to figure out exactly how I’m able to hear him, and what these visions are. Or why I’m being pulled to these certain times of my life past, present and what I could only assume are the future. I don’t have a clue on why it’s happening to me, but I’m trying to take every day one step at a time. Trying not to get over charged with Ethan here and there and I think a lot of it has to do with me. I’m sure he’d like nothing but to be here with me 24/7 but it’s weird to me right now. It’s freaking me out too when I’m thinking to myself and then he answers back. Or when I have my guard down and he sneaks in and says something before warning me” I confessed to them with a little giggle.
My father got a serious look on his face as he looked at my biceps even though they were healing and not as black and blue as they were before. “I—I did Ethan do that to you? If so, why?” my father asked in such a low tone I was not sure if he was asking me, Ethan or maybe even himself. “Ummm well….” “Just tell them already even though he already knows the damned answer” Ethan bitched out so loud that it crackled through the air and the vibration shook my parents. “Damn it Ethan….. ugh dad yes Ethan did it, but he didn’t mean to… it’s not what you think he was trying to wake me from a nightmare that he had accidently caused” I promised though he would not be able to do anything about it. The room had fell silent including my brother who had disappeared after overstepping. As he caused so much friction that it actually scared my parents, but it was starting to grow on me since he’d been doing it to me from the beginning. My father looked at me with love, protection and most of all pain in his look that hit me hard. “Daddy…. I’m fine trust me ok because Ethan told me he’s been here with us from the very beginning and when a person dies whether old or a baby their souls are grown up. He has had help from I guess other relatives on the other side he said and this gift or whatever it is I have is passed down from generations. One that it stems from mothers and your side, but mostly mothers. I am still not sure who he talks with since I’ve only seen figures never real clearness of the others faces. Anyways I’m really not ready to talk about this, it’s so new and I’m still trying to figure things out along with all the other things going on in my life” I admitted to them and myself as I slowly got to my feet and went to my beach bag that had my couple of gifts for my mother.
My parents had sat back down so that my mother could open her gifts that were things that didn’t cost money. They were those few things I knew she would regret throwing away if I wouldn’t have taken them. I sat on the floor in front of my parents handing one gift at a time and started with the biggest one of them all. My mother slowly opened the gift and shook the whole time in doing so that my father helped her with the last few pieces of paper that covered the baby book. The sobbing from them both told me it’s what they both needed for so many reasons that were both clear and unclear to me for the mean time. “I’ve saved things over the years that I’ve found in the trash or hidden away. I knew that if one day you were ready if ever that you’d want this back. I cleaned it up and kept it safe and Ethan is the one who actually encouraged me to give it back to you” I shrugged as I rung my hands together like my mother usually did.
Before it could get too emotional, I handed her the final present which was a beautiful jewelry set that I had also found in the trash at only 4 years old. I thought they were pretty and wanted them even though my mother had thrown them away. I was now the one slowly handing them over and trying my hardest not to cry. They were two things that were the closest thing, I had to having my brother and mother together as one.
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