Book 2: In the Life of Mia: College Chapter 98
Sadami had grabbed Leona's things and put them in the back while my father called up to Leona who had not wanted to see me leave until my father told her I said it was ok for her to go home with me. Leona got right into the back while I stood back giving us both space to not have to start a fight for no reason. I knew the car ride would not be that of a pleasant one and she would be feeling my wrath. "Well you all have a safe trip back to the West Coast tomorrow and make sure to call when you make it home safe. I love you all" I blew them all a kiss before getting in. Lola closed the back door and we were off a few mins later, finally once on the open road I slowly pressed the button that would give us privacy with the sound proof that would only work if we kept our voices at a minimal. Leona's eyes widened as I turned in my seat and faced her. "So it's been a couple of days now and you've been here and there all over the place and yet you have not said sorry.....or a real apology I should say… I don't want to hear excuses any longer either you apologize, or you don't but stop fucking with my head. I have enough to deal with when I get home and even more when I get back to school. As you know I am renting out my main house and am not going to kick them out nor do I want it back. Basically, what I'm saying is that we are now at a crossroads and we need to decide where we go from here, because if you think that you are ever.... ever going to lay a finger on me again you are very mistaken. We can sit here and talk all the way to my house and once we get there you either stay or you let Lola and Sadami take you to the airport and make sure you don't go back to my parent’s house" I crossed my arms giving her a choice.
Leona tried getting closer, but I kept her at arm’s length and watched as her look faded from hopeful to determination. "I have my ways of apologizing and it's hard for me to actually say the words, and that is no one's fault but my own…. I'd love to blame the relationships I've been in for the reason I hit you which I am hating myself right now because I confessed to Bailey that I hit you and that was the reason you wanted to move out. He of course was not happy but also couldn't do much about it since it was already done and over with. For what it's worth I really am sorry but if you let me... I'd really like to show you the way I apologize" she grinned letting her head fall. I knew exactly how she wanted to apologize because that's how I used to do it and I had slowly stopped using sex as a crutch to apologize knowing it did nothing but cause more pain. "Le....ona....I know the way you want to apologize and that's one thing that makes us the same, but I can't keep using sex as a cure because the truth is it's not a cure for anything but more pain. I forgive you and if you trust me enough you will accept that as enough for you to accept it and forgive yourself" I admitted as I leaned my face against the head-rest. Leona had watched me and hoped she could really see I took her apology as a genuine one and before I knew it, we were to the house with my back door opening and my eyes shooting open. I jumped when someone had touched me "Shhh, it's just me...if you let me, I'd love to carry you up to your room and..." "No, I can walk but thank you" I cut Leona off turning around and getting out of the back.
Leona frowned but held out a hand instead and once in the house I could see that nothing had changed even though I hoped it would have and that it would not be empty. I tried holding back the tears, but it just showed me how different Sharene and I really were. "Well I guess that tells me everything I need to know" I thought out loud. My body went completely cold even though it was 60 degrees outside and a good 68 in the house. "Damn babe, you are cold to the touch... let me run you a hot bath ok" Leona whispered softly helping me up the stairs. Lola looked at me for confirmation that I wanted her there still and I just gave her a nod and continued up the steps to the bedrooms. I took a half a second to just look around as we walked into my bedroom that had once been turned into a guest room for a short time. "Really this is your room? I'd think you would have moved into the master bedroom" Leona confessed walking me in and straight into the bathroom.
Leona stayed with me the whole time while I bathed, and I could tell she was waiting for me to let her in but space is what I needed. "Will you at least let me wash your beautiful hair?" she practically begged as she stepped closer. I rinsed off and let the dirty water out of the tub to fill it again with hot water to the hottest I could stand, Leona did not like that it had been so hot it turned my skin bright red like a lobster. "Still cold? Need me to make you something warm to drink? whatever you want just tell me and I'll be more than happy to do.... I really need to know that you forgive me, and that there is hope for your trust again" she whispered close to my ear as she took the cup, I handed her. "I'm good thank you just need to finish this up so I can get into bed and sleep for as long as possible... as for me trusting you... I do to an extent that I trust that if someone came in here right now and shot me dead, you'd kill them dead too. Other than that, the trust in that way will take a little time ok and it hurts me to say that but it's just the way it is right now" she gently poured water over my head and then soaped up my hair that had grown about 3 or more inches in just a few months.
Leona left me a little after 1am and I cried myself to sleep and ignoring all the calls from my mother, Sharene, and the others who could tell I was broken again. Even Leona tried getting in, but I had put up a sound barrier so that her siren calls would not debilitate me any longer. The only ones I cared to see were my girls who had climbed into my arms and went right to sleep with me rubbing my face and kissing me telling me without words that everything would be ok. 4:00 came and I was up feeling sick with my cycle that had started a few days earlier and had been making me so damned sick like never before and waking up almost every morning throwing up just was not cutting it. By that morning something told me that I needed to be checked out by a doctor before I had gone back to school giving me this sickening feeling that my life would be changing all over again. I called my OB on his private number telling him I just did not feel right and after telling him my symptoms he told me exactly what he wanted me to do. "No way.... not possible...I've got the IUD in" I groaned and then got sick when he told me that it was getting close to needing it checked and that it could have shifted. "OMG this is not happening...I can't go through this again, and you told me it would be impossible...." I cried out.
Once I got off the phone with him, I went to the kitchen hoping I could get a set of my keys from the drawer and not be heard, but no such luck when Lola startled me. "What are you doing? I hope you don't think you are about to leave this house without, someone with you" she scolded me. "Ummm damn it.... fine come with me than and I'm driving" I growled snatching the keys from her hand. I grabbed my wallet and headed out to the garage and was out the driveway speeding off with Lola asking me to calm down and explain why we were in such a rush. "Don't worry about it just need to pick something up from the nearest store and then we'll be back home so sit there and be quiet please" I begged as thoughts of a baby running around in my life 24/7 started to freak me out. Lola went to dial a number and I knew she was calling Bailey or my father for what to do next and I about snapped taking her phone from her and tossing it in the backseat.
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