Chapter 13
Amelia my mother got up from the table when Greta took my plate and left the room and I wasn't sure what she was going to do next. Although, I was surprised when she came to me a few mins later with no emotion on her face and sat next to me. "Mia, I love you with all my heart and live for you every day... I feel like you’re slowly starting to slip through my fingers and I'm spinning out of control inside. As for you leaving that's not happening because your father called and asked for Donnie and Mallory to come pick him up. Mallory will not be coming back and I was really embarrassed by your outburst but very proud at the same time. Now that is all I had to say so now it’s your turn if you want" my mother says softly and became a little softer and more like my mother. I crossed my legs and looked seriously at her wanting to ask questions, but it wouldn't be right without my father there too. "Well I am sorry for embarrassing you and I know I have been doing that a lot in the last 24 hours or so. I am just feeling really stressed out and I have so many decisions to make and if things couldn't get any harder your dead son is haunting my dreams. I'm not going to go into details yet since I'm still not sure what's happening to me and I think that's my biggest issue right now. Ummm so how about we hang out all day and wait for father to get here... I wanted to go down to the dock and swim, lay out and get some more color. Then was thinking about doing a little rowing around the island and maybe go to town across the way and do some shopping" I say knowing my mother would love everything but the rowing.
My mother headed up stairs and changed into her bikini and wrap joining me in the wrap around porch 20 mins later. "Ok Mia darlin' I've got my beach bag and what we need to go to town" my mother says as she sat with me for a few mins. I finished sending Catherine a text telling her how breakfast went and the after math of my outburst. She didn't respond though which was ok feeling that it was my fault she wasn't there with us and didn't expect her to stop living her summer to her fullest excitement. "I guess Cate is off having fun, stupid me had to make her feel like shit. Ugh mommy I'm falling apart, I had a shit last day of school when I hurt Cate’s feelings and not even knowing it. Then hurt her again along with Jose and Nick, because well we had an amazing night all 4 of us and then well Cate and I slept together. I should not have let it happen since I didn't realize how she exactly felt about me and the next morning ummm well a few hours later I made a comment to the boys and she overheard me. Yet, I mean it was my first time going that far with a girl and I'm glad I did it with my best friend but now ugh where do we go from here? I am not bisexual... or maybe I am but right now I'm trying to find out who I want to be and what I want from life. Then I have people trying to distract me with how they feel. Not to mention Max calling me or texting every time I turn around" I finally stopped when I realized I was going a thousand miles a min and my mother Amelia looked to be dizzy trying to stay with me.
My mother put her arm around me and felt me tighten up causing her to get closer and wrap both arms around me and hold me. "Shhhh baby girl.... right now, just take this summer to do whatever you want... be who you want break rules even though you really don't have any. Do something outside your comfort zone if there is anything. I'm one proud 36-year-old mother of one brilliant daughter who has done more in 18 years than I've done in 36. To be honest you are my role model and I am happy to be your mother, friend and think of you as my best friend" my mother says in her normal loving tone causing me to break down and lay my head down on her lap. I was sobbing uncontrollably for the 2nd time in less than 24 hours. The only thing that broke the sobbing and pain in my heart and head was the sound of my mother’s voice and Ethan both together.
My mother’s soft cooing sounds helped while Ethan rubbed my face as he kneeled down in front of the swing. I was so emotionally spent that I didn't stop them from calming me and making me feel better. "Sis it's ok to be emotional and show vulnerability at times, because that's the only thing that is going to get you through this next stage of your life. I'm not going to lie it'll only get worse before it gets better. I'm sorry mother lashed out at you last night and I couldn't stop her because I wanted to trust me. I'm still working on trying to reach her along with everyone over here" Ethan says softly which only made me cry more. I heard footsteps come out on to the porch and come closer and a second later Greta's soft soothing voice broke through "Hey baby girl sorry to interrupt this moment with you and your mother but, we have a storm coming through and it's coming in fast so how about we come in side and hold off on all the plans for a few hours until the storm passes." Greta and my mother both knew it would be hard to get me in the house especially now that a storm was rolling through. "Awwww really is it going to be that bad or can we just stay or at least me. You know how we both love storms and love being as close as possible to it" I say as I finally got myself together and stayed laying with my head in my mother’s lap. Greta laughed her soulful laugh and let me, and my mother stay until it got worse which wasn't long as the wind started to pick up. We made it to the door just in time and laughing as we got wet from the rain coming right at us.
Instead of going out when the storm had moved out we stayed in and had the masseuses come and give us a good rub down and then the manicurist came along for later. The massages were just what we both needed with mother getting a young man who was only a few years younger than her and me with a giant who looked like he once could have been a boxer or MMA fighter. They both worked us over good with me needing it rough and told him so. "Damn little lady you are one touch chica, I don't think I have ever had a woman ask for me to be rougher. Ha ummm well that sounded really dirty and I apologize ma'am" he says causing me to stiffen. "Ha really dude ma'am? How old do you think I am? I mean I know my height gets a lot of people confused but I'm probably young enough to be your daughter" I say as I slowly got up off the table without covering myself. We both laughed and he became uncomfortable for a split second. My mother Amelia was already done and ready for our next stage of pampering. "Come on angel I'm ready for our mani/pedi session and I'm not starting without you!" she says from the other side of the door. I finally wrapped myself in my robe and opened the door leaving the masseuse stone faced. My mother laughed as she looked in and found him rubbing his face and looking confused. "Ha, yes she got you too, don't feel bad she is one tough girl... my girl so watch where you look.." Amelia says from behind me. I could not help but roll my eyes as I finished my walk down the hall and into the next room that had the manicurists waiting for us.
The next 45 mins was so amazing with another round of pampering to my legs and feet. "These puppies have been needing this for like a month and a half now... been so busy that I have not been able to stop and just shut it all down for one day. Mother this was the best idea yet, but tomorrow is for sure the beach and shopping" I moaned out as the manicurist hit just the right spot. The day seemed to pass in a breeze with mother and I relaxing in the small living area and watching the housewives of Orange County marathon that was on. "Wow and I thought my life was going crazy, but I guess everyone at any given moment could be having it worse. I know I am lucky to have my life and that's why I keep busy with helping the homeless and helping out at the shelters. I give credit to people who gave it all up to help them and we do give a lot not just me, but money side of it all I know you and daddy help too. Then there are the social things I know you love to do anything to explain a new dress or handbag" I say between a commercial that mother skipped right over. By 6pm dinner was ready, and I figured for sure my father would have been there by now but didn't know what had cut his business trip short either. "I guess father had to do a few last min things before joining us even though for whatever reason he cut the trip short" I muttered as mother and I sat down with Sebastian and ate dinner.
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