Chapter 169 His Love for Her Was Insignificant
It was already 2 AM after Philip had dealt with the mess Edward created.
He sat in the empty office, his body sinking weakly into the sofa.
The ashtray on the table beside him was piled high with cigarette butts.
Charles' words lingered in his ears like a curse.
Regina was pregnant, with twins.
He had no way of knowing anything about Regina now. If he hadn't run into Douglas and Charles today, he wouldn't have known this news.
Lately, he had been desperately trying to find any clue about Regina's current life, but he didn't know where to start.
The person who had been with him for six years, who had left traces everywhere in his life, had now left without a trace.
It was Mars who found out some information.
At 2 AM, he came to Philip's office.
He rushed over to convey the news he had found today but hesitated, unsure if he should say it at this time.
After all, this could very well be like stabbing Philip in the heart.
"Speak."
"Ms. Valrose participated in a Dubbing Club in college and even served as the president. Mr. Sterling, did you know that?"
Of course, Philip knew.
He had even attended one of her club's performances.
He also knew that Regina had done some radio drama work after graduation, using this hobby to earn some extra money. But he didn't pay much attention to her stage name or which dramas she worked on.
To him, he only cared about whether the money he gave her was enough.
Philip took a deep breath and looked up at Mars. "Continue."
Mars explained, "Didn't you ask me to look into Ms. Valrose's... some information recently?"
Philip now didn't even have the chance to see Regina in person. He could only use some unconventional means to peek into bits and pieces of her life, to see how she was doing.
"What did you find out?"
"She's quite famous in the voice-acting community. She has a stage name, also Regina. I found a public Twitter account of hers."
Mars opened his phone, found Regina's account, and handed it to Philip.
The account was verified as a voice actor and had millions of followers.
"Why didn't she ever mention it?" As soon as Philip spoke, he realized how ridiculous his question was.
Regina had never meant to hide things from him deliberately; it was simply that he showed no interest in such matters. She feared that if she went on about her passions, it might end up irritating him. So, she decided not to mention them at all.
Philip tensed up as he took the phone from Mars, unlocked it, and immediately came across her pinned tweet announcing her marriage to Dougal.
The tweet featured a picture of their marriage certificate, with the caption: [My husband @Dougal.]
It was obvious that Dougal referred to Douglas.
Philip's fingers tightened around the phone, the veins on his hand standing out in stark relief.
He scrolled further.
He noticed that she had posted again earlier that evening.
The image was an ultrasound photo with the caption: [Welcome to the world, little ones @Dougal.]
A wave of suffocating pain crashed over Philip, drowning him.
The post had been up for a few hours and already had numerous shares and comments.
It was then that Philip realized how much of their sweet, everyday life had played out online.
Her account was usually quiet, only occasionally promoting her radio drama, but Douglas' account was a different story.
He posted photos regularly.
Every single one included Regina, capturing her from every angle. It was as if Douglas were a professional photographer, turning even the mundane moments into cinematic experiences.
There were photos of her strolling through the garden, her back framed by the sunset.
Another showed her sitting by a floor-to-ceiling window with the sea in the background, playing with a golden retriever.
And there were candid shots of her lounging in bed, looking lazy and intimate.
As Philip looked at these photos, he thought of his own photo gallery.
He had never been as enthusiastic about documenting life as Regina was. So, during their time together, they didn't take many photos.
Once, after a fight, he had even deleted all their pictures in a fit of rage.
Philip shut his eyes in despair.
Whether he wanted to admit it or not, the truth was clear: compared to Douglas, his love for Regina seemed insignificant.
The further he scrolled, the more it felt like torture.
His heart was already a mass of wounds, bleeding everywhere.
Yet, he couldn't help but continue to torment himself.
By the time he reached the end, his eyes were bloodshot, tears streaming silently from the corners of his eyes.
At that moment, Mars thought he was seeing a mirage.
Philip remained silent for a long while.
Suddenly, Philip lifted his left hand, staring at the men's watch he'd worn for three years. He muttered to himself, "This watch was a gift from her three years ago. She said she saved up for a whole year to buy it."
Yet he'd laughed at her, telling her not to do something so foolish again.
He had told her that there were plenty of watches out there, and she didn't need to scrimp and save to get him one.
Philip paused for a moment before continuing, "I always knew she loved dogs, but when she brought that stray home, I acted all put out and said I didn't like it."
He knew she adored the Northern Lights, knew she had a passion for voice acting—so what?
Philip only knew these things; he never truly understood.
All these years, he seemed incapable of learning how to respond to someone's love, how to love someone in return.
He selfishly enjoyed the days she spent trailing after him, all the while deluding himself into thinking she would follow him forever.
Time passed, and eventually, Philip turned off his phone and handed it back to Mars.
Mars stood in front of him for a long time, waiting for any further instructions.
Leaving Douglas' Twitter feed felt like a brush with death.
In a sudden outburst, Philip smashed a glass on the table. He picked up one of the sharpest shards, gripping it tightly in his right hand. He pressed the shard into his flesh, letting the blood flow, using the searing pain to keep himself clear-headed and sane.
His left hand had gone numb.
He even thought maybe his right hand should just be ruined too.
All these years, he had been nothing but a failure.
He hadn't even learned how to love her.
