Mother of the Moon - Chapter 138 - Finding Mother
Zelena.
I feel warm. Not that the air is hot, it actually feels cool and calming against my skin. But on the inside, my chest, my stomach, my cheeks, they all feel wonderfully warm and cosy. I opened my eyes and sat up-right. I was in the forest, only not the forest around the pack lands. I was back in the white forest, the one from my dream. As I slowly stood up, I looked down at myself. I was wearing the same clothes, silk skirt and soft cami, only now they were a crystal white and shimmering in the light. I started to walk through the trees. My body on auto pilot, going exactly where it needed to go. The field of white flowers came into view, and as before, the figure of the beautiful woman was sat in the middle.
I walked over and sat down beside her, my eyes completely entranced by her celestial beauty. She turned to look at me and smiled sweetly. A perfectly symmetrical smile with perfectly white teeth. Her pure white eyes were daunting at first but the love she expressed through them was tangible. Her beautifully clear skin looked like it was alight with the shine from a thousand crystals. I don’t know if it is just because she is dazzling to look at, but she seems to glow.
“Welcome back, daughter of mine” she sung, her voice like silky chocolate. Sensual and relaxing. She reached out her long thin fingers to gently stroke my cheek affectionately, her soft skin was unlike anything I have felt before.
“Back? I have been here before?” I asked her. I was a bit surprised by the sound of my own voice, it sounded like the softest bells, delicate and alluring. It whispered around us like a gentle breeze.
“Many times, young one. I enjoy having you here” she said turning back to the flowers in front of her. I remember seeing this place in my dream, the strange white trees and all white flowers. Now that she is in front of me once again, I remember her too. But I don’t remember many visits. I can only picture her face and this forest from one time, the time I dreamt of it in the bathtub with Gunner. But that’s all I thought it was, a dream. She talks as if this is real, that it is actually happening. How could I have been here many times before and not remembered it? How could I visit a place and not know about it?
“I’m sorry, I just... I can’t... I don’t remember” I mumbled softly. She laughed and tossed her flowing white hair over her shoulder. The sound of her laughter was pure bliss, somehow it filled me with joy, and yet I feel like I have heard the sound before.
“No, you wouldn’t”. Her joyful expression soured for a moment and pain, or maybe guilt, crossed her face, but then she smiled and turned to me again,
“But look at you now. You are everything and more that I knew you could be” she cooed as she brushed her fingers over my cheek again. The sensation of her soft skin against my own, made me want to melt into the ground in euphoric contentment. I know who she is, deep down I know. I can feel it. But still, I have to ask. I have to hear it out loud.
“You’re Selene, aren’t you? The Goddess of the Moon, the All Mother” I asked her, leaning my face into her hand.
“I am. But you my sweet daughter, can call me Mother”.
I mean, wow! I may not have been raised as a Were, but I still understand the significance of this interaction. The Moon Goddess herself, my ancestor, right here in front of me. In the flesh. Is that what she is though? In the flesh? Is this actually real or just another dream?
“Am I dreaming?” I asked,
“In a way yes, but also no” she answered me as she fiddled with the petal of a flower.
“I don’t understand”
“This is the Ethereal Plane, my home. A mirror image of your own world. However only myself, and those of my choosing, can visit. For a mortal I suppose it would feel like a dream, but it is very real”.
Okay, so I’m in another world? What the flipping heck! This is totally insane. I can see it and I can feel it, I know it’s real and it’s happening, but still I can’t believe it. I have so many damn questions, but I don’t know where to start. I pinched the bridge of my nose, a headache was starting to form.
“Okay” I said absentmindedly. Selene laughed again and pulled my hand into her lap.
“Don’t think so hard child, just let it be” she chuckled and stroked the back of my hand softly. Her tender show of affection reminded me of something, something rather important.
“Gunner, did you know about Gunner?” I asked her urgently. She giggled playfully and sighed,
“He is gorgeous isn’t he. I'm glad you’re enjoying him” she said with a far-off dreamy look on her face. I was hit by a pang of jealousy, a possessive growl bubbled in the back of my throat. I let her words sink in, and instantly I felt full of embarrassment. She said ‘Enjoying him’ like he is some kind of sex toy.
“You knew that Gunner and I were going to meet?” I asked while looking down at my lap,
“Of course, I did. He was the perfect choice to be your True Mate”
“Choice? You mean you chose him to be with me?”
“I did”.
“Why Gunner? Not that I am complaining, I'm not. I love him with everything I have, but I'm curious” I mumbled quickly, trying not to sound ungrateful.
“Gunner is strong, kind, generous, loyal and I knew he would love you more than anything else in his life. You deserved that. And I knew that together you would both thrive”.
“He is all of that, and more” I said dreamily. He is the perfect man. My man.
“You let him access your power, didn’t you?” I asked, turning to look at her again,
“It is not my power, child, it is yours”
“But you gave it to me”
“I did”
“So you did, you let him access it, through me”. She smiled and turned her body to face me, still holding my hand firmly in her lap.
“I gave you the power, it was destined to be yours. Did I know that he would be able to use it through your bond? Yes. But the choice to let him access it, was always yours”.
“You aren’t mad?”
“Of course not child” she smiled and squeezed my hand. I knew that Gunner and I were more than Mates, more than True Mates. We were destined. Made for each other. Even after all that, there was one thing that was bothering me. Something Selene said that has been repeating itself in my head.
“You said I’ve been here before” I said while watching her large white eyes,
“I did, and you have” she answered without missing a beat,
“But why don’t I remember it?”
“For some of your visits you were very young, you brushed them off as just a wonderful dream. Other times, you were suffering and in pain. I brought you here to comfort you. But returning you back to your world with the memory of this place, it would only have caused you more pain”.
“You took my memories?” I asked, shock and betrayal filled my thoughts. That’s why I don’t remember, because she stole my memories. How could she do that to me? Why would she do that to me? What else has she taken or hidden from me?
“I did” she answered without hesitation. I blanked for a moment, taken back by her straight up honesty. I expected her to deny it or maybe reason her way out of why she did it. But no. She just admitted it with no worries. If I have been coming here since I was a child, then she knew how much I was suffering with Hank. I know that I would have begged to stay. I would have done or said anything for her to let me stay here, away from Hank. She would have seen or at least known about all my torture and my pain, and yet she did nothing. Is that why she stole my memories? To hide the fact that she left me to his devices. My chest tightened, and I could feel the tears threatening to fall. How could she just abandon me?
“Why?” I whimpered,
“Why would you sit by and let that animal beat me and torture me? How could you send me back to him knowing what he was doing to me?” Harsh sobs racked my body. I cried. I mourned. I felt all the pain of my youth. Cool tears flowed down my cheeks as I gasped for air between constricting sobs. Selene didn’t answer. She only held my hand gently in hers and stroked her fingers across my skin. After a while, I slowly began to calm down. The tears eased and my breathing regulated. But the pain of feeling abandoned by the one who supposedly chose me, it is brutal. It was eating away inside me.
“Child” Selene whispered gently. I pulled my hand from hers and stood up abruptly.
“No! You call me your daughter and yet you did nothing to protect me. You let that monster break me, again and again and again. He crushed me, he took away every good part of me and you did nothing. Why? Tell me why!” I screamed and the sobs came back in full force.
Selene stood up. She didn’t stand exactly, it was more like she floated upwards until she was eye level with me. She placed her hands on either side of my face and a small smile graced her pale lips.
“Let me show you” she whispered.