Mother of the Moon - Chapter 95 - Cole
Zelena.
The words cut me like a knife. Spartan didn’t make it. No wonder Cole doesn’t want anything to do with me. It’s my fault that his father is dead. The hunters came for me, if I was never here then Spartan still would be. All I have brought this pack is death. I still don’t know exactly how many Weres died the night of the battle, but right now I can only focus on the one. I remember clear as day when Gunner explained why the packs were so willing to die for me. Because I am a gift from the Goddess, a beacon of hope for all Were-kind. Well how much hope am I offering Cole now? It’s not my place to mourn for Spartan, after all, I only met him a few times. But why do I still feel like I have lost someone dear to me? Is it just the guilt? No, I don’t think so. It’s Cole. Our relationship had a rough start, but we came around, he came around. And before that damn battle we were good, we were friends. But now he is hurting, and it’s because of me that he is in pain. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling this way. I’m mourning for Cole, for his pain.
“Zelena” Gunner had his arm on my shoulder and was shaking me gently.
“Are you alright?” he asked concerned, his eyes searching over my face.
“I’m fine” I mumbled, blinking my eyes rapidly.
“You sure little one, you kind of phased out there for a few minutes” Tobias said from beside me. I looked at him and forced a smile to my face. He didn’t buy it for a second. He reached out his hand and wiped a traitorous tear from my cheek. I took a deep breath and looked at the faces around me. Nat and Smith were across from me with sad sympathetic expressions. I don’t know why but it angered me. I looked at Gunner and he was the same. Why are they feeling sorry for me? It’s not like my dad just died, it’s Cole they should be concerned for. I huffed in frustration and stood up from my stool.
“Where are you going?” Gunner asked,
“To find Cole” I answered firmly before turning to the door, not giving any of them a chance to argue. As I headed out the front door and into the field in front of the house, I could hear their footsteps following closely behind me. As I made my way towards Cole’s cabin, I noticed a lot of pack members all starting to crowd around me. At first, I thought they were about to attack, but as they got closer, I saw that their faces held only love.
“Luna” they called to me and bowed their heads. They like me. No, they adore me, how is that possible? I am the reason their former Beta is dead and who knows how many others. Did they not realise that?
***They have been waiting for you***
I turned to look at Gunner, he was watching his pack members and smiling and nodding as they greeted him.
***Why?***
***You’re their Luna, they were worried about you***
I looked around at all the smiling faces. The feeling of their acceptance and their love and devotion seeped into my skin. I could feel how happy they were to see me, and I couldn’t contain the smile on my face.
“We’re so glad that you’re back Luna”
“Thank the Goddess you’re okay”
“We’ve missed you Luna”.
So many happy and adoring faces, and it’s for me. I’ve never felt so much love and happiness before. They really do want me.
***They don’t blame me?***
***Of course they don’t***
***But I blame me***
Gunner came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. The smiling faces looked at us in awe.
***They adore you little wolf. Just like I do***
I turned my head and kissed Gunner's cheek and continued to smile and shake hands with the surrounding pack members. As I looked around the gathered people, my eyes caught a glimpse of someone standing far off at the tree line. I snapped my eyes back and stared at the person.
“Cole” I whispered. I pushed my way through the people and started to run towards Cole.
“Zee wait” Gunner called as I ran off. Once Cole realised I was coming towards him he turned and dashed into the trees out of sight, but I didn’t stop. I ran into the trees and saw the tattered remains of Coles clothes. He’s changed form. I kicked off my sandals as Gunner reached me.
“Just let him be” he pleaded.
“No, I need to talk with him” I rushed out as I pulled off my shirt. I dropped it on the forest floor and Gunner growled. I snapped my head to him, looking at him surprised. Why the heck is he growling at me? I looked down at myself, oh, I forgot that I wasn’t wearing underwear. Ugh, whatever. I pulled down my shorts and crouched on the ground completely naked. I closed my eyes and let my change start. Heat flooded my body and then my arms snapped out and back in, my legs followed right after. My back arched and twisted as my face elongated and then my neck snapped to the side. The pain was nothing like I remember it. This change was almost pleasant, easy, painful but bearable.
I dug my paws into the dirt and took off in the direction of Cole’s scent. Gunner didn’t waste any time in running up beside me, nudging into me with his huge body.
***Please I need to talk with him***
***He’s not ready***
***He doesn’t need to talk, I just need to tell him I’m sorry***
Gunner growled and huffed, obviously realising that he wasn’t talking me out of this. I continued running and focused my hearing. Drowning out all the other forest noise was hard, mainly because Gunner’s heartbeat next to me was ridiculously loud. I pushed him out of my mind and searched ahead. There. I can hear paws hitting the ground and a racing heartbeat. I breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent and then my eyes flew forward though the trees. I can see him, Cole, his big brown wolf running and prancing through the forest. I dug in my claws and took off faster. It wasn’t long until I could see him ahead of us, weaving through the trees. As we got closer, he skidded to a stop and sat down. He was panting softly and looking at a small stream in front of his paws. I slowed down and came up beside him, Gunner stopped just behind us.
***Go away Zelena***
***Cole, I’m so sorry***
***Please leave***
***I can’t leave knowing that you’re hurting***
***Drop it Zelena***
***Please Cole, I’m so sorry, if I could take his place, I would***
That comment earnt a huff and low growl from Gunner. I looked back at him and snarled with a shake of my head. He huffed again and looked away from me.
***Just don’t okay, leave me alone***
***Cole, please listen to me. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I never meant for this to happen, any of this***
***Yeh but it did***
***I know, and it’s all my fault, what can I do to help you?***
Cole huffed and tossed his head to the side, away from me.
***What do you care, it’s not like we’re friends***
I was taken aback slightly by his words, I know he is hurt but I wasn’t ready for his bluntness. I lowered my head and whined softly, feeling a little dejected. We sat quietly for a few minutes. I could smell the grief and sadness coming from Cole. I could feel the pain he was in.
***Just leave me alone***
No. I will never leave him alone, I won’t leave anyone that is hurting alone. I was forced to suffer alone for my whole life, I won’t let the same happen to Cole. Or anyone that I love. And I do love him, he is my Mate’s best friend and my Beta. I sat up straight and edged closer to him, nudging my head into his neck and resting it on his shoulder.
***I won’t leave you Cole, none of us will ever leave you, we love you***
Cole growled lowly and huffed before shoving me off of him, he stood up and took a few steps away from me. He stopped and turned around slowly to face me. His sharp canines were borne and his ears lowered, the rage that radiated from him was nauseating.
***I will say this once and only once. I don’t want your love, your pity or your friendship. I want nothing from you Zelena***
I dropped my head and whined softly, his harsh words slicing me like a knife. I felt Gunners body come closer behind me and his warning growl vibrate through the air.
***Tri-Moon Pack is my home, and you are my Luna, because of this and only this will I tolerate your presence.***
***Watch yourself Cole***
Gunner was starting to rage behind me, I could feel his anger flowing through me. I tried my hardest to push it out of my mind and concentrate on Cole and his pain.
***Stop Gunner, let him talk***
***The position of Beta is mine and I won’t let you take that from me as well***
***I would never…***
Cole barked and growled in an effort to silence me. Gunner stepped forward and positioned himself ready to attack.
***Cole please…***
***I don’t want to be your friend and I don’t want to hear your apologies. Just know that when I bow to you, it is out of duty to my Luna and not out of respect for you.***
Cole lunged forward snapping at Gunner as he pushed passed him, taking off through the trees. He hates me, he really does hate me. Oh Goddess, what have I done. My body flopped to the forest floor with my head falling on my paws. The sadness inside me was overwhelming and I could no longer hold back the whimpers.
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