Mother of the Moon - Chapter 181 - It’s my fault
Zelena.
“Mother?” I said meekly.
“Yes, daughter of mine” Selene answered me.
“You’re Selene, the Moon Goddess?” Gunner stated obviously. She turned her angry eyes to him and nodded. Gunner dropped to the ground on his hands and knees with his head pressed into the dirt. Tobias huffed and shook his head.
“Too late for that don’t you think? You've already insulted and disrespected her” he grumbled.
“Stand up boy” Selene snapped. Gunner shot back up to his feet immediately. He stood with his hands at his side and his head facing down.
“Mother, what are you doing here?” I asked her, stepping forward.
“I had no choice. I won’t stand back and watch you destroy yourselves. You are meant for more than that” she hissed harshly. I lowered my head as I filled with shame. She's mad. I made her mad.
“I... I'm sorry” I said softly. A tear ran down my cheek as I looked back up at her. Her pale white eyes gazed back at me sadly. She wasn’t just mad, she was disappointed. I've never had to worry about the whole ‘I’m not mad, I’m disappointed’ speech from parents. Hank was always just mad. But seeing the look on Selene’s face. I didn’t need to hear the speech to understand it. I felt it through her sorrowful stare.
“You chose the darkness. You called for it, in fact” she said in a monotone.
“I didn’t have a choice” I whispered hissed.
“There is always a choice” she quipped.
“What was I meant to do? Let him kill me? Let him kill my pup?” I yelled. If she is really watching over me like she said she is, then she would have known. She would have seen him. I had no other way of beating him. I had no other choice. Gunner growled and moved to my side, then he placed his hand over my stomach. Just the mention of danger to his pup and his protective nature flares.
“No my girl, you were supposed to fight it” Selene answered with a deep exasperated breath.
“I did fight. And I won. See, there he is, dead and defeated” I yelled and pointed to Galterio’s dead corpse. The anger in me blazed to life. This life has thrown challenge after challenge my way. Each time I wanted to give up, and each time I pushed forward. When will it be enough? How much more am I expected to endure. I could feel the dark haze moving back in, slowly taking back over.
“I’m not speaking of him, dear one” Selene said slowly.
“Then what are you talking about? What do I have to do to be good enough? When will I be enough to be the great and powerful Triple Goddess?” I screamed. The dark tentacles sprung from my fingers and curled themselves around my hands. The darkness slithered through my chest and wrapped itself around my heart. I was lost to it. I could feel that now.
“You were meant to fight the dark. You were meant to be the light in the world” Selene’s voice raised in volume and power as it rang through my head. Her ethereal glow increased until it surrounded her in a bright white light. She is the light the world needs. And me, I can never measure up to her. I clasped my hands over my ears, trying to block out the painful sound. Her voice bounced around inside my head. Holy fuck it hurt. I dropped to my knees and screamed. Gunner growled and ran towards Selene, but she didn’t even blink. Tobias leapt forward and grabbed hold of Gunner. With speed I haven’t seen in him before, Tobias managed to lock Gunner’s arms behind his head. He held him in place with ease, even as Gunner growled and thrashed in his arms. Selene ignored him as she slowly walked towards me. She extended her hand forward, and lifted it. My body followed suit, rising off the ground and floating in front of her. I couldn’t move. My legs, my arms, my head, everything was completely immobilized. So, this is what this feels like, to be frozen in place at the will of someone else. Not fun.
“No daughter of mine will be lost to the dark side of the moon” she said slowly. She placed her hand on my chest softly, but it felt like I had been punched. My whole body lurched, yet I remained completely still. It was like the wind had been knocked out of me. I shivered, and my skin turned to ice. I felt like claws were being scraped through my veins, like something was being ripped out of me. I screamed out. My voice echoing through the air in a painful wail.
“STOP!” I begged her. I looked down at her hand and saw the black whisps of smoke being sucked from my chest. It snapped out in all directions, slicing through the air like a whip. But each whisp and tendril was pulled back into her hand, like water down a drain. The longer she held her hand to my chest, the lighter I felt. I felt the darkness slipping from me. But it was fighting. Holding on to any part of me that it could. The anger and rage that I felt so strongly before, it was gone now. My legs and arms went numb, like they were completely weightless. I felt dizzy. My eyes became blurry, and if I could move, I imagine my head would wobble like a bobble head toy. Gunner’s growl was the last thing I heard as my heavy eyelids closed and everything was pushed out.
-
My sore eyelids wouldn’t budge, it was too hard to open them. I breathed in through my nose, taking in all of the familiar scents of home. I was in my and Gunner’s room, back at the pack house. Gunner’s scent was strong in here as well, I could take a safe guess that he is here with me. My body was weak and weighted. Everything hurt. I took a deep breath and focused on moving my body. I managed to straighten one of my legs, that was it. My stirring must have caught Gunner’s attention. His arm that was around my waist, pulled me in closer to his chest. His entire body was pressed flush against my back. My head rested on his shoulder, while the rest of his arm was tucked over my chest, his hand cupping my breast. One of his legs was wrapped over mine, with his face buried into my hair. I was in a vice grip. He had himself tangled all around me like a choker vine. But I like it. I've missed this, I've missed him.
If I stay like this, I will drift off again, I could feel the exhaustion clawing at the back of my eyes. Wait, Selene was there. She did... something. I don’t know what she did. But whatever it was, it knocked me out. How long was I out for? Goddess, it wasn’t another three months was it. And my baby, Galterio tried to kill my pup. Is he okay? Is everyone else okay? I could hear all the fighting when Cole was trying to get me out. How bad was the fight? Oh, Cole. Cole was dead. I saw him die. He’s dead and we never got to fix this whole thing between us. Those glassy eyes and that weak smile, his dying face will haunt my memories for the rest of my life. Tears pooled behind my closed eyes and began to leak through. My chest tightened and my heart ached. Cole died. He died because of me, just like his father. A sob burst through my dry cracked lips and shook my body. I tried to scrunch my eyes closed tighter. I don’t want to see his dying eyes anymore.
“Hey. Hey now, you’re okay. You're home, you’re safe. I've got you Zee. You're okay” Gunner soothed as he squeezed my body into his. He nuzzled his nose into the back of my head and lifted the hand from my waist to wipe the hair away from my face.
“You’re okay, baby” he said as he pressed his lips into my hair.
“Cole” I choked out in a strangled sob. Gunner’s body tensed behind me. His every muscle constricted and his breathing halted. Another sob shook my body and Gunner seemed to snap out of it.
“I know” Gunner said quietly. He tried to keep his voice even, but I could hear the sadness in it.
“It’s my fault” I mumbled through my tears. Gunner was quiet. His tight grip on me stayed firm, but he didn’t respond.
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