Mother of the Moon - Chapter 182 - The Darkness
Zelena.
After a minute I calmed my tears and quieted my sobs. Only then did I hear the sounds of Gunner’s crying. As much as my body protested, I turned around in Gunner’s arms so that I was facing him. His eyes were red and puffy, meaning he had been crying off and on for a while. His usual creamy smooth skin was pale and blotchy, and his face was wet with tears. I lifted my hands to cup his face and gently ran my thumbs across his wet cheeks.
“It’s not your fault” Gunner’s croaky voice broke out. He closed his eyes tight and his face scrunched together, it was a kind of pained look that I had never seen on him before.
“Talk to me Gunner” I pleaded with him as I swiped my thumb over his bottom lip.
“I was so fucking mad at him, for calling Origin Wolf” Gunner began. I held my expression in place, but it almost broke at the revelation. Cole called Galterio? I thought Artemis was the traitor. He and Zoe, working together. How did Cole fit into that?
“I sent him off on his own. I knew it was a bad move, I knew he should have had backup. I was just so angry. I didn’t want to look at him anymore, so I gave him an impossible task”.
Fresh tears flowed from Gunner’s eyes as a strained sob wracked his large body. I dragged myself up higher on the bed and pulled his head to my chest. Gunner’s arms squeezed around me so damn tightly. I stroked my hand through his hair and the other held him against me. I could feel all of it. All of his guilt and sorrow. He was in so much pain, and my heart ached from it. My own tears fell freely down my face. My pain and sadness mixed with Gunner’s, and we were both tied together in an emotional mess.
“It’s my fault. I sent my brother to die” Gunner cried and squeezed his arms. My chest constricted under his hold, and I couldn’t take a full breath. But my concern was for my pup. His arms were crushing me under the weight of his guilt, and our pup along with it. I tapped on his head to let me go but my signal didn’t register.
***Gunner, you’re crushing our pup***
I flashed him in a strained tone. He immediately shot himself back, flying his body off the bed and across the room. He held his hands out in front of him, like he was trying to show me he wouldn’t hurt me. The same way he did on the day I first changed. I know he won't hurt me on purpose. What is this about?
“I’m sorry, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to, I swear it” he rushed out as his eyes swept down my body. A look of shame and disgust filled his eyes. But I could still feel him, his emotions and thoughts. He wasn’t disgusted with me, he was disgusted with himself, with the fact that he could have possibly hurt me.
“I’m okay, you didn’t hurt me. It was just a little tight” I said soothingly and held out my hand for him to come back to the bed. He stared at my hand and pressed himself into the wall. Hurt flashed across my face at his rejection. And Gunner caught it before I could wipe it away.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be here. I should be far away from you” he mumbled painfully.
“What? What is that supposed to mean?” I snapped. Why would he need to stay away from me? Was it because of the thing that happened on the beach? We sorted that out though, I just need to eat to ward off the violent hunger urges. Gunner eyed me warily, uncertainty was written all over his face. Uncertain of what though? Of having a baby?
“Gunner what’s going on?” I asked him softly, my own fear and panic started to rise. He doesn’t want a baby, he’s going to kick me out, kick ‘us’ out. Oh Goddess. He is rejecting me isn’t he.
“Don’t think like that” Gunner growled, his eyes turning a little darker.
“Think what?” I asked him. He clenched his fists and his jaw clicked together tightly. Was this the darkness? I can’t feel it in me anymore. It's like it’s gone. I can feel his anger, but nothing more than that. How is that possible?
“Don’t think that I don’t love you. That I don’t want you, want this, a family. I want all of that. You're just not safe with me anymore” Gunner’s hard voice rumbled around the room.
“This doesn’t make any sense Gunner, what is going on?” I pleaded with him. I dragged my tired and pained body to the edge of the bed and let my legs flop over the side. I was about to stand when Gunner rushed forward. He dropped to his knees in front of me and placed his arms gently on my lap.
“Don’t, you still need to rest” he said quickly,
“Then tell me what’s going on. Now!” I demanded. I placed my hands over his and squeezed. Gunner peered up at me. I could see his mind working hard. The bright blue of his eyes held a shade of black in their depths and it made me shiver. He huffed out a breath and dropped his head to my knees.
“Okay” he mumbled. I grabbed his head and lifted it up so that he was now looking at me.
“Okay?” I questioned,
“Tell me what you remember” Gunner said softly while looking into my eyes.
“I don’t know, everything, nothing. I don’t know what was real and what wasn’t” I answered as I wracked my brain for what I could remember.
“Tell me what you think you remember, and then we can go from there”. I nodded my head and cleared my throat.
“Cole died. Galterio punched a hole through his chest” I said first. Gunner tensed but nodded his head, indicating for me to go on.
“I was mad. It’s like I filled with rage and everything went kind of hazy. Galterio and I fought. I realised that the dark power could hurt him. He was pretty much immune to my normal power. I heard him and Artemis talking about it. They said it was because we are distantly related. Anyway, I was about to kill him, but then you showed up” I paused and looked down at Gunner. He was watching me intently. Listening carefully to my recollection.
“We... we killed him. I killed him. Using the dark magic”. Gunner squeezed my hand as I choked out the words ‘I killed him’. Galterio was a monster, there's no question there. But in some weird twisted and totally gross way, we were family. And I still killed him.
“Is that all?” he asked me gently,
“No. I remember Selene was there, with Tobias. Tobias was different though, it was like he was glowing or something. Was Selene really there? Did you see her?” I asked. I couldn’t help the excitement that filtered through my words. I would love for him to see her. For them to meet in person, my mother and my Mate. That would have been amazing. Gunner nodded his head slowly, but he wasn’t excited about it. Then of course, I remembered why.
“Oh” I said breathlessly as the memory returned.
“I wanted to hurt you, and her. I wanted to hurt everyone."
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