Twin Moon - Chapter 223 - Time
Zelena.
Numb. That’s what I was now. Numb. Numb to the pain, numb to the fear, numb to the emptiness. I had nothing left. No emotions, no feelings, just deep dark nothing. The happiness that my memories were meant to evoke, was non-existent. The sadness that I thought his departure would cause me, was nowhere to be found. I had nothing. My lifeless body lay motionless on the bed. I don’t know what day it is, nor do I care. I don’t know how long it’s been since he left, nor do I know where he is. I just know that he isn’t here. And without him with me, there was nothing for me here. Hours turned to days and days turned to weeks. But in my mind, it was one long and unbroken patch of darkness. I was conscious of the faces that appeared in the room around me. I could hear the low whispers of pleading and encouragement that accompanied them. But I had nothing. No motivation and no desire to be present. I didn’t want to be here without him. I wanted to close my eyes and leave this place. Only to return when he did.
“She can’t last like this much longer” a hushed whisper rang out,
“We’ve tried everything we can. She has to choose to fight, she has to want it” another person whispered back.
“The medication isn’t working, the forced feeding isn’t working any more either. She’s slipping away, we’re going to lose her, we’re going to lose the both of them”
“She won’t let that happen, it’s her pup. She may be a little checked out at the moment, but her instincts are still sharp. She won't allow any real harm to come to the baby”
“Look at her! She is already harming the baby” the voice shouted.
“Calm down, losing your temper won't help anyone”
“She needs to eat, like actual food. If she loses any more weight the pup won't survive the birth”.
The pup. His pup. I had almost forgotten. I shifted my hand over the bed and spread my fingers across the large mound that was my stomach. It's grown. It's grown a lot. I had forgotten there was life growing inside me. His life. I no longer felt the movements and the kicks. I blocked it from my mind, along with everything else. Now that I was concentrating once again, the movement was all too present. It must be close now, the strain and pressure in my body was overwhelming. It couldn’t possibly grow any more, there’s no room left.
My movements must have caught the attention of whoever was in the room. The bed dipped in front of me and a hand gently ran down my arm.
“Zelena, sweetheart, are you awake?” Roe’s soft voice asked quietly. I should answer, I want to. I just... I can’t.
“You need to eat Zelena. You're hurting the pup and if you don’t eat soon, the damage may be too great” the other voice hissed angrily.
“Natalia!” Roe scolded.
“What? I'm not wrong. Enough is enough! She has sulked for long enough, now it’s time to suck it up and be a Goddess-damned Luna” Nat snapped back.
“Cut it out. You know perfectly well that it’s different for her than it is for us. She's his True Mate. She’d be feeling unimaginable pain with him not here. She isn’t just missing him, she’s missing a part of herself”.
“Well, I'm missing my Mate too. I had to come back here and do her duties instead of getting to know my own fucking pack” Nat whisper shouted. What was she talking about? Oh, that’s right, she found her true love. She was meant to be gone. Why is she here? A low and harsh rumbling growl reverberated around the room. A small flicker of comfort sparked through me, but it was gone as quickly as it came.
“Get out” the deep and looming voice growled.
“Tobias, we are only trying to get her to eat something” Roe said cautiously. I could hear the worry in her tone. I couldn’t force myself to care why she was worried. But I could still hear it.
“Leave” Tobias said slowly. His voice had a strange ethereal echo to it. Something about him had changed. More so than he already had. I felt Roe lift off the bed and heard the rushed footsteps leave the room. A moment later, the bed dipped again and I was pulled into Tobias’s side. His arms came around my body and I was pressed into his side with my head on his arm. The feel of his skin was different. He smelt different. I pressed my cheek into his skin, trying to understand the strange sensation I was feeling. Pins and needles rushed over my body where his skin touched mine. I have felt this from him before, but this was different, stronger somehow. My body wanted to relax, to be calm and happy. But my heart, or the empty space where my heart should be, it wouldn’t allow it. I let myself go, and the vast darkness of sleep took me once again.
-
More days passed. I could again see the faces and hear the voices of the people that I love. But I had nothing to offer them. I wanted to stay in my head, my own quiet world, and away from the place where I know that Gunner won’t be.
Pain shot down my back and I flinched, scrunching up my face and hissing. The warm body that was behind me, pulled me closer. I could smell him before I knew he was there. His scent was far too overpowering. The devotion and protectiveness, it was seeping out of him. Tobias’ large hand was under my shirt and his fingers were splayed over my round stomach. The connecting points of our skin tickled, it burned nearly. The sensation was wildly unfamiliar and yet positively addictive. For the first time in I don’t know how long, I spoke.
“What are you doing?” I asked. My voice was hoarse and quiet. My throat burned and itched from the dryness.
“I am feeding you” he answered. His deep and rumbling voice still held that ethereal echo. It was actually very eery to hear. I cleared my throat and tried again.
“What are you doing?” I choked,
“I am feeding you my energy. Keeping you strong” he answered. I laid my hand over his and tried to concentrate. I could feel it now, the gentle vibration coursing through his fingers. The tingle of electricity spreading through my body, and the warmth in my veins. All of it was originating from where his hand was resting on my stomach.
“Why?” I asked,
“It’s nearly time” was all he said.