Life Is Not Rainbow Colored
“I cared for the baby as much as you did,” she continued. “Right it’s my fault, I get it. But don’t shove it at my face and outrightly blame me for it because you’re also at fault. Perhaps, we’re both at fault.”
When she finished speaking, she looked over at him, expecting him to say something now that she was done with spilling her mind. However, Xavier said nothing and kept on staring at her like she suddenly grew seven heads. “I…I’m done speaking. You can speak now.”
“Oh, you’re done?” He raised a brow. “I didn’t notice.”
“I’m done.”
“You think you made any sense? I’m not trying to blame you for the incident, I never did all this while but if you think it’s your fault, then pray to tell me why I should say otherwise. You never listen and that is your biggest problem.”
Anger washed over Elaine. The pent-up anger that she’d built in her heart suddenly resurfaced again and she reached out to push Xavier further away from her, her hands on his chest. “And you? If you weren’t a cruel human, if you weren’t evil enough to keep a human, a living being in a basement, I…I don’t know.”
She knew that they were both grieving and passing out blame on each other was a juvenile way to act but she couldn’t help but want to feel better. She wanted to feel better about the situation for the first time in a month and some days. She wanted to breathe without blaming herself for the situation over and over again.
Throughout her time alone, she’d spent blaming herself for the loss of their daughter and hating on herself for failing to protect the child but now that she was around the man, around someone that she could vent to and perhaps transfer aggression at, she couldn’t help but wish for the relief.
“Being a good human got you nowhere and will get you nowhere. The world is not as rainbow-colored as you see it and if you don’t grow up, you’ll learn it the hard way. I’m done with this conversation.”
He turned his back on her, attempting to leave. “Wh…where are you going? I don’t want to stay here.” She looked around the mansion. “I want to leave.”
“You better don’t anger me further and don’t step out of this house. I’m not a patient man.”
At that, he walked off the mansion, the door closing with a loud angry bang that made her jump. Elaine looked around the mansion, her heart racing so loud in her chest that she feared it would burst out soon. Standing all alone in the large living room, she felt the strong emotions return to her, drowning her in grief.
Her eyes scanned the whole mansion. It was exactly as she left it, with all the changes that she’d made in it still intact. She still felt her presence in the house and it was like she never left. The couches, the paintings, everything was in the position that they were when she left them, even the flowers that she’d planted. They looked healthy too, indicating that they’d been taken care of.
Oh, how much she’s missed the feel of the place. It was her home and It had been so hard when she returned to her apartment. She didn’t realize how much she’d gotten used to the mansion until she got out of it.
A thought ran through her mind. What if Xavier’s words were true and he’d only given her a break and never intended to abandon her? But the situation was the same, he’d left her when she needed him the most.
Slowly, she made her way up the stairs, her eyes scanning the entire place until she got to the door of the room where she’d once shared with Xavier. Her hands trembled profusely as she pushed the door open, the creak traveling to her ears. Her feet stopped at the sight of the room, the familiar room.
Just like it was in the living room, everything was still intact in the room, just like she’d left it. Their wedding photo still hung on the wall at the side of their bed. Her alarm clock was still on the bedside table and even her pregnancy pillow. It was as if nothing happened.
Her curiosity took her to the walk-in closet and just like she expected, her clothes and jewelries were still well arranged like they would’ve been if she was around. There, her dressing table stood with her makeup and skincare products arranged carefully like she’d always had them.
Unable to bear the burn of the tears in her eyes, Elaine slipped to the floor and let out the tears that she’d been holding. There was no way that she would stay in the mansion without the images of the incident replaying in her head over and over again and without her mind reminding her that she was the cause of the ruined family, that she ruined her chance for a family, one she’d always wished for.
She needed to leave immediately. The guilt was beginning to eat her up over and over again. Suddenly, her phone pinged in her bag. She wiped her eyes, dipped her hand into her bag, and retrieved her phone, bringing it to her face to read the text that had just come in.
Beth: Gurl; where you at? You’re taking forever to get home and I’m fucking worried. Give me a text when you see this message.
She immediately typed back.
Elaine: I’m at Xavier’s.
Beth: What????? How did that happen? Is there something I should know?
Elaine: It’s a long story. I’ll tell you when I return.
Beth: You're returning? Is he letting you leave?
Elaine: I’m returning either way. I can’t stay here, Beth. I’ll see you in a few minutes. Don’t go to bed yet, alright.
Beth: Anything for you.
Elaine kept her phone back in her bag and got up from the floor. She stepped outside the closet and just before she could reach the door, attempting to flee Xavier’s house, her eyes fell on a paper tucked under a pillow in the king-sized bed.
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