Can’t Stop Being Jealous
Elaine and Xavier tore away from each other at the sound of the abruptly opened door. Elaine sprang up from the couch where she'd been kissing and groping her husband all throughout the afternoon and she immediately cleared her throat and smothered her dishevelled hair. Her eyes fell on the girl at the door who stared at them with wide eyes and then at Beth who had just raced into the office.
“I tried to stop her, Mrs Romano,” she explained, her eyes glaring at Ria.
“It's fine. You can let her in. Come in, Ria.”
But Ria didn't take a step nor did she say a single word. Her eyes just kept staring between Elaine and Xavier, her heart-shattering in her chest at the sight of their flushed expressions and how the man’s arms possessively wrapped around his wife's waist like she meant the whole world to him.
At that moment, she felt herself unable to think of the reason she was at the place, unable to speak the words that she’d memorized on her way to the company. Her legs took her backward inch by inch and before she or anyone knew it, she’d swiveled around and raced out of the office, her feet taking her so fast out of the floor and into the elevator.
Once the door of the elevator parted open, she took to her heels out of the building, heading back to the spot where she’d parked the truck. But before she could get into the truck with burning eyes from holding back her tears, she felt a hand grab her arms and pull her backward.
She turned to meet Elaine’s gaze.
“Where are you going?” She asked. “Don't bother about him. We can talk somewhere else if you don't want to talk before him. Let's go somewhere else.”
She couldn't meet Elaine’s gaze for a reason unknown to her and she slowly pulled her hands away from her and shook her head. “It's fine, I don't want to talk anymore. We can meet some other time, okay?”
“Then why did you come?”
“Look, I'll talk to you another time.”
“How about what we talked about? All that I told you the other day, you didn't think about it?”
“I gave you an answer that day. I told you all that I have to say, didn't you hear me? Anyway, if you're so adamant as to why I'm here, I'll tell you.” She dipped her hand into her purse and brought out dollar bundles which she shoved to Elaine’s chest. “That's the exact amount that you helped me with that day. I came to pay my debt and I hope that our contact can be cut off now. I even added interest to the money.”
“Ria, I told you that I don't need this money. All I want is your cooperation. What the hell is wrong with you?” What is so bad if she gives their family a second chance? It shouldn't be so hard, right? But her sister was way too stubborn to give in.
“I don't need the money. Here, have it.”
She tried to push the bundle of money back to her but Ria pushed herself backward and stood out of her reach. “That's your money. Goodbye.”
Without waiting for Elaine to try and stop her, she climbed into the truck and started it, quickly driving out of the company. Just as she got a few meters from the company, she let the tears that she'd been holding stream down her cheek, her hands trembling with each second that passed as she gripped the steering wheel like her life depended on it.
‘Fuck!!!” She screamed. “What the hell came over me?” She groaned. No, she didn’t plan to give Elaine the money, that wasn’t how she envisioned her visit to the company to be like.
She’d planned to have a heartfelt conversation with her sister and communicate with her just how much she was a bitch and how much she wanted to reconcile with their family and receive everyone’s love again. But what had she done? She’d fucking let her jealousy take over her again.
At that moment when she saw Elaine with the man that loved her to death, the man who takes care of her so much, she’d felt her life flash before her. From her jealous moment while she worked in the company, to her marriage with Jimmy and then to the fake pregnancy and now a broken marriage. While she had her life in shambles, someone else had life all figured out and the thought of her being backward, being a bad luck had gotten to her head.
No matter how much she’s warned herself not to get jealous of Elaine and her luxurious lifestyle, she just couldn’t help it. It was something about jealousy. Only a few managed to fight it and she wasn’t one of the few people who knew how to defeat the jealousy in them.
Stopping in front of a cafe, she opened the door of the truck and slowly got out of it, heading inside the cafe with a heavy heart.
“Ria?” Iris called, her eyes widening at the sight of Ria at her workplace. She immediately left the counter and raced toward the girl, helping her sit on a chair. “What the hell happened now? Why do you look like this? Did she reject your apology? She sent you away?”
Ria shook her head.
“Then what? Why are you here?”
“I’m sorry. You’re the only person that I could think of seeing at this moment. I’m sorry if it’s bothering you.”
“Of course not. Besides, we’re friends, aren’t we? You also helped me in my darkest time.”
“The thing is that.” She swallowed the lump in her throat before managing to let out the words. “I…I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ask for her forgiveness. I couldn’t even say a single word that I practiced. I think I’m going nuts, Iris,” she cried, pulling on her hair sharply.
“It’s fine, we can talk.”
“Tell me why I can’t stop being jealous. I…I really want to stop. I fucking want to be…be happy for her like every other sister. But…but there is just something that takes me back every single time. When did…did I even turn this evil?”
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