Chapter 290
WILLA
"You shouldn't be here," I told Lucian.
His reply to that was a quirk of his brow.
"You just fought with your girlfriend because of me," I added, since he clearly didn't look like he wanted to listen. "Please go away. I don't want any trouble. If Noami comes and sees us talking..."
I let the words trail off, expecting him to take the hint and leave.
Still nothing from him. I could have been talking to the trees or the sky for all the reaction he gave.
Now he was standing right in front of me. So tall he was blocking out the stars and everything else.
His eyes kept searching my face over and over again. I started to grow uncomfortable and hyperaware of him.
What did he want with me anyway? And why wasn't he saying anything?
"Are you going to say something?" I asked when the silence grew unbearable. "Or are you just going to keep staring?"
He took another step closer, raked his fingers through his hair like a man frustrated.
"I have tried so hard to understand it," he said in a voice so low I could barely hear him.
I blinked, waited for him to tell me what it was he didn't understand. Lucian didn't seem in a hurry to continue.
"Understand what?" I found myself asking.
He didn't answer.
I swallowed. I wanted to back away. Wanted to turn around and leave. It was easy to do anyway but Lucian's eyes had me pinned like a bug on a card.
Goodness! Why couldn't I just control myself when I was around him? It was embarrassing. I kept feeling and acting like a teenager around her first crush.
I was the one to break the silence. Again.
"If you don't have anything else to say, maybe you should just back up, Lucian. Just-"
"Why?" he said.
The question, unrelated to anything, took me by surprise again. I sniffed but didn't catch a whiff of alcohol on his breath. He wasn't drunk.
Lucian sucked in a breath.
"I've been asking myself that question for a long time," he continued in a voice tight with some strong emotion. Frustration, definitely. Anger, maybe. I couldn't tell what he had to be angry with me about though. Naomi had done the yelling. Not me. "Been asking myself why I get so mad when you talk about Theron. When you go on about how good he is. How... suitable he is for you. When you smile at his texts and rub it all in my face."
"I wasn't- I didn't- I don't know what you're talking about," I protested, swallowing past a lump in my throat.
I could feel my heartbeat there, pulsing in time to my breaths. I knew it was stupid, feeling all giddy and fluttery because Lucian had just admitted to being jealous, but I couldn't help it.
Lucian's fingers went through his hair again. The freshening breeze caught strands of it, whipped it around his head.
I felt a sudden, almost overwhelming urge to reach up, smooth it down. Maybe caress his cheek and run my fingers briefly on the shadow of stubble around his chin.
I curled my fingers into fists to stop myself from doing anything that stupid.
"You know damn well what I'm talking about, Willa," he said with some heat. "You know what it does to me. That's why you bring up Theron every chance you get. Like tonight."
"That's not true!" I said, stung into replying. "Noami was the one who brought Theron up when she asked why I was dating-"
"Why should you affect me so much?" he whispered.
"I- I affect you?" I whispered back.
His jaw tightened. "Why can't you be like other girls? Why the hell are you so concerned about emotional attachments and... feelings and all that stuff. Maybe if you were like the rest of them, I wouldn't be so affected." His voice turned low, pleading. "How about you reconsider, Willa? Let's just enjoy the chemistry between us. No strings attached. I promise things don't have to be so complicated."
I slapped his reaching hand away.
"No!" I snapped. "If you expect me to lower my standards and become one of your playthings, forget it. I know my worth, Lucian, even if you don't. If you can't deal with my terms, then go and be with... how did you put it? The rest of them."
I did what I should have done the moment I saw Lucian coming. I started to walk away.
After a few steps, I stopped and turned.
I suddenly wanted to hurt him like he had hurt me by lumping me with one of his girls.
"To answer your question," I said. "Yes. Theron kisses me even better."
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