Chapter 327
WILLA
"Believe that I want you. Willa look at me. I've never been like this about anyone. Okay you know what? You have heard Theron's version of my reputation. Ask around. Talk to people who know me well. Ask them what I am around girls. I've never begged a girl to stay with me. Until you."
"Oh. So I should be flattered then," I said,
"No! That's-" He shoved his fingers through his hair and groaned. "Damnit! Willa, that's not what I meant. Believe me-"
I could have laughed. This had to be the hundredth time he was saying that.
"If you really did want me, you wouldn't have lied to me," I said.
I started to leave. Lucian darted forward to take my arm.
"No, Lucian," I said. "Please let me go." I moved away. He moved with me. "And don't follow me either."
And even though it felt like I was leaving part of my heart behind, I walked away.
*****************
The dark glow of my computer was the only light in my room. I scrolled through an assignment due in two days which I hadn't even started working on.
I was carefully reading the last line on the document at the bottom of the screen when I heard the ping of an incoming message notification.
The notification bar flashed on the screen for a second.
Message from Theron.
I dragged the notification bar down so I could read the message without actually opening it.
He had written, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for things to go down like that. Can we talk?
I stared at the message for a full minute.
It would be no more than he deserved if I ignored his message after what he had done. I sighed and opened the message.
I hit 'reply'
Why didn't you tell me before now? I typed.
His answer came immediately. I didn't want to hurt you with the truth.
I scoffed. Hurt me with the truth? It sounded like something Lucian would say.
I had no reply to that so I didn't respond. I was about exiting the messaging app when another came in.
Can we talk tomorrow? Please. I know I've been an ass but grant me this request.
Fine, I typed. The café close to the arts building. 7p.m on the dot.
A moment after I had exited the app, ignoring Theron's thank you message, I asked myself why I had even agreed to meet with him in the first place.
What was I really expecting from him anyway? An explanation? An apology? Closure?
I lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling, thoughts of my assignment forgotten for the time being. There was another ping, this time from my cell phone.
It was a message, a voice note actually from Lucian. My heartbeat sped up.
Play it or ignore? I asked myself, my fingers hovering over the phone's screen.
I was supposed to be giving myself space to think, wasn't I? Listening to Lucian talk, explain wasn't going to help me get the much needed perspective, was it?
I battled with these questions for two agonizing seconds. Before I could stop myself my fingers pressed play.
Lucian's voice came floating through the phone's speaker.
'Willa,' he said and there was a pause so long I thought that was the only thing he was going to say. My heart wrenched, reacting to the pain I heard in his voice. 'I know you're so mad at me right now so I'm sending this hoping, praying you will listen to it. I wanted to say again that I'm sorry. I handled the whole situation wrong. I should have told you the truth from the start. I was just scared that when you found out about Sylvia you would think-" Another pause, shorter this time. "No excuses. I'm done with the excuses, Willa. I promise. I just... miss you."
There was a click. The voice message ended.
I blinked away the tears stinging my eyes. A part of me wanted to reply even if it was just to offer him some comfort, to tell him I was still thinking of him even if we were apart.
But I wouldn't.
I took the phone over to the dressing table and dropped it there so I wouldn't give in to temptation. I shut off my laptop, lay in the darkness trying to empty my mind of thought.
It was a hard to do. I wondered if there would be any sleep for me that night.
About an hour later, there was a soft rap on my door. I lay still, did not answer. The knock came again, louder this time.
It was Lucian.
My wolf could sense him just outside. He kept knocking for several minutes, then he left.
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