Chapter 316
WILLA
As my feet took me closer to our meeting place, I asked myself for the umpteenth time why I had agreed to meet with Lucian.
Curiousity was not reason enough.
It was him who had made me question my self worth time and time again.
I got a whiff of his scent before I saw him. Standing by the oak tree with his back to me, his thick brown hair blown around in the freshening breeze, he looked like some primal god guarding the night.
At this hour, the lakeside was empty of loitering students. Lucian and I had the place to ourselves.
I knew by the slight tightening of his shoulders that he had heard me approach. I let the silence broken only by the chirping of crickets somewhere go on.
"You came," Lucian said and clasped his hand behind his back.
I didn't know what to make of this odd mood he seemed to be in. Had he brought me here to scold me about Theron?
Well, I wouldn't allow it.
I drew myself up to my full height and said stiffly, "If you have something to say, then say it. I don't have all day."
Lucian turned. The swaying leaves above him cast shadows on his face.
He approached me, only stopped when we were inches apart. I clenched my fists by my side and stood my ground.
I faced him, chin up.
"Well?" I said.
Lucian exhaled in a rush. Now he was close, I barely recognised him as the Lucian I had talked to at the library.
He looked... haunted. Yes. That was the word.
"I called you here because... I can't take it anymore. After our talk earlier, I told myself I would stay away from you. It seemed like the best thing to do since you and I can't seem to agree on the nature of our association..."
He trailed off. His words hung in the air like heavy weights.
I stared at my sneakers and fought a wave of crushing disappointment.
Was this it then? Had be brought me here to tell me it was best we totally stopped seeing each other?
When Lucian spoke again, his voice was tight with some suppressed emotion. "But I couldn't even bear the thought. I never thought I could need someone around so bad until you, Willa."
I licked my lips.
"Until me," I repeated.
"Yes..."
I gave my head a little shake. Not this time, I told myself.
I was not going to let Lucian's sweet words sway me. I knew I was in the right.
I knew I deserved better. I deserved a man who would adore me in private and in public.
Lucian was not that man as he had made abundantly clear before. So sweet, touching words or not, I would stand my ground.
I raised my head and looked him in the eye.
"I don't know where you're going with this," I said. "But I've already made myself clear before. There's no changing my mind. If that's all you want to say, then maybe it's better I leave."
As I half turned, Lucian grabbed my arm. I felt it tremble a bit. Or was it me?
"Wait," he said. "Please, I'm not done."
I shook his hand off. "Then get on with it. It's getting late."
Lucian scrubbed his fingers through his hair then stared down at his hands, as if trying to decide on something.
"It's not that I don't want to be with you," he finally said. "The main reason I told you it couldn't work between us is my parents. My father especially. He's always made it clear to me, ever since I got old enough to get into a relationship, that he expects me to end up with a Lycan. A titled Lycan, preferably. He would never agree to my having anything to do with just a werewolf. You see, my father takes this thing about pure breeds personally." Lucian's mouth hardened into a thin line. "You should hear him talk about it. Left for him, the whole werewolf bloodline would be purged so only Lycans remained. According to him, we are the real descendants of the moon goddess. All the others are just freaks, mutations. I don't want to tell you all this, Willa but I just want to get a picture of how deep his prejudices run. A man like that... how could I tell him about you? About us?"
I felt the blood rise to my face. Since coming to Worchmount, I had had to face a lot of discrimination but hearing Lucian describe his family's made my blood boil.
"I get it," I said, my voice unsteady.
Lucian let out a breath. "Oh thank goodness I-"
"Yes. You think I'm not good enough for your parents."