Chapter 94
Kai pov
Turning around I see how worried she is. Dropping the torture device on the floor I turn back to the bed and sit next to her.
“Maybe we should have this talk before things get serious.” I sign out folding my hands in my lap. “Growing up so far away from the fast-paced world we cling to the old ways. Saving ourselves for our mates. Even though it’s not expected these days. Also, we all grew up in close quarters. You see the cabins and main house are all pretty small compared to other packs. But keeping warm in the dead of night was the priority.
When I learned my mate would be in another pack I had been happy. I wasn’t too fond of the females in our pack other than Fallen and she’s like a sister so gross.” I know I made a face when Enoy giggled. It’s one of the best sounds I have ever heard. My heart clenched knowing that this tall doesn’t have a happy ending.
“I knew my mate wasn’t brought up like I was so saving themselves was a fifty-fifty chance. But I didn’t care. Still don’t. You could have been with every wolf in this pack and I wouldn’t care. I was taught to never expect rainbows on a stormy day. I had decided long ago I wouldn’t care who my mate was or if they saved themselves or not I would never reject them.
Then one day Fallen and I was in the village having delivered this week’s caught for the market booths. I’m sure you know the business up there more than I do. To be honest I really didn’t take part in the fishing business so much. My father knows I love the pack but hate being so far from the world I see on TV. We had decided when both Fallen and I turned twenty that he would send us to the packs for two reasons one we find mates and two we both find the home our hearts long for.
This last delivery was nothing out of the ordinary. Fallen and I made good time racing to the village pulling the sleds behind us. If you ever get to see a giant polar bear pulling a sled you won’t regret it.” Chuckling at the memory. We had to have the harness special made for fallen. She has a smaller chest than her brother and father but a massive one compared to the wolves of the pack my father is the biggest. So my mother spent hours crafting a sea lion skin harness for Fallen. My mother left the short soft fur on the pelts when she tans them. For harness, she removes the fur normally. Fallen's fur is different than ours. They all found out early polar bear fur can knot and tangle if rubbed too much. Keeping the fur on the pelt allows it to slide between her fur keeping it tangle-free.”
Remembering all the knots fallen used to get. And unlike her brother fallen kept her hair long so depending on where the knot in her fur determined if the knot was also in her human hair. I had laughed one too many times.
“This last time we were excited my father had planned for fallen and me to spend the weekend in the village away from the pack on our own. This was to get us used to being away from the pack and the pack to get used to us being gone. Had we been paying attention we would have smelled them or seen them first. But we were like pups on Christmas. I don’t know how long they had watched us but Renee and wren had caught sight of us. Renee approached us first followed by wren.” Taking a deep breath knowing what I’m about to say could cost me everything.
In a short time here I have grown to love this pack. Not the boots but everything else. Looking at my hands I tell Enoy every detail of the pain and torture I went through. The fear and pain are all coming back as I talk. I can feel it all over again. The slice of the knives as they cut into me. Wren's sliver-coated claws dug into my skin. The festering ooze, leaked from the wound for days before it healed.
“at first it was just Renee doing horrible things to me. Drugging me my body betraying me over and over. One day she blindfolded me and was having her fun while I died inside more. When the most painful horrible thing happened “ stopping to take a breath. Enoy climbed into my lap bringing her hands to my cheeks and whipping away my tear. Opening my eyes to look at her I can see the pain in her eyes. Like she’s sharing my pain.
“I know these are scars you will carry all your life. Ones that could wake you screaming in the night. I can I lay image what you went through and I don’t wish it on anyone. With that said nothing that happened was a choice you made. So to me, you have saved yourself as you planned. I almost had that choice taken from me and the thought kills me.” She finishes by leaning in and kissing me lightly.
Wrapping her in my arms feels so right I can’t help but relax into her. The words sank into my soul. Hearing the words coming from her is different than hearing them from everyone else.
“so since we are confessing things I should tell you and give you the choice to reject me. And I promise if that’s what you want I will accept it. So some things have changed a little ..” “you mean the smelling like Ambrose a little. I had thought at first it was just because you were together in tight corners but I can smell it here.” Running my finger down the line of her neck. The scent so her it didn’t bother me or set off any jealous feelings so I didn’t care.
