Chapter 114 If
After dinner, it was already past nine. I was itching to get back to my sketches, which I hadn't touched in almost two days. I hoped Mindy would go out with Louis so I could catch up.
"Jane, wanna go sing?" I had just come out of the restroom and was walking behind everyone. The junior's loud voice startled me in the middle of the reception hall.
The guests near the bar looked over, and the man facing me suddenly glanced up. It was Brad. Even in the dim light, I recognized him instantly, and his eyes deepened when he saw me.
I tried to leave quickly but almost tripped over my own feet. No wonder Brad hadn't answered my calls—this was why!
I felt cold and weak, unable to look away from Brad. My eyes were glued to him, trying to figure out what was going on.
Out of nowhere, Daniel appeared, catching my shaky body with one arm and pressing my head into his shoulder with the other, patting me gently.
I looked up at Daniel, surprised. His eyes held a clear challenge directed at Brad, but there was also questioning. I didn't understand Daniel, even though we had grown up together.
When I glanced back at Brad, the girl who had been leaning against him was now sitting up straight, looking innocent. Her gaze at Brad was full of admiration.
Brad's face looked particularly unpleasant, maybe sad or bitter. I couldn't quite tell in my dazed state.
This was the first time I had seen another girl with Brad, let alone one in his arms. I never imagined this day would come.
I clutched my chest, feeling a terrible ache. My eyes felt hot, and I suddenly felt very wronged. Hadn't Brad just said he wanted to be my boyfriend and promised to wait for my answer? How could he turn around and accept another girl's embrace?
I declined the singing session, saying my sketches had been delayed for two days and I couldn't waste more time. In reality, I was just in a bad mood. I wanted to grab Brad by the collar and ask him why he broke our promise. Did he think I was easy to bully? Or was I not as important to him as I thought?
I refused Daniel's offer to walk me back and stumbled to the school gate alone. I held onto the gate to steady myself before heading to the apartment.
When I reached the small grove in front of the apartment, a branch scratched my hair, and tears finally fell. I clutched my scratched scalp, sobbing, letting the tears flow down my face and wet my hair.
"Can't handle this? If you want to be with him, you'll have to endure much more, enough to cry until you have no more tears," Daniel finally spoke up, unable to stay silent any longer. He'd been following me, and I'd been ignoring him.
His words weren't comforting; they were like knives stabbing my heart. It would've been better if he'd stayed quiet. I could've pretended he didn't exist, and once I got to the apartment, he'd leave, and we'd go our separate ways.
But he had to speak, and it sounded like he was mocking me. I wanted to hit back with the harshest words I could find, to make him feel my pain.
But I wasn't good at that. Ronan and Helen never taught me those skills, and I hadn't learned them growing up. I had no way to vent my anger perfectly.
"Jealous? Then improve yourself instead of badmouthing others," I snapped. I didn't look at Daniel to see his reaction.
Mindy, as I hoped, didn't come back. On my desk was a piece of chocolate cake, a glass of freshly squeezed juice, and some snacks. A sky-blue sticky note in her neat handwriting read:
[Finish all of this and wish me good luck tonight.]
I dutifully finished the cake and juice. They say desserts can bring happiness, and I did feel a bit better.
I checked my phone. No messages from Brad. I took out my unfinished sketches and got to work. My phone sat on the corner of the desk, and I glanced at it every ten minutes.
There was no need to check so often. With all the functions of a smartphone, any message, call, or notification would make a sound.
But the phone stayed silent. In almost three hours, it rang twice: once for a data usage alert and once for a Facebook message from Rachel about their Karaoke Bars experience.
I wasn't in the mood to reply, so I ignored it. As for the alert, I wanted to complain. 'Why send such messages in the middle of the night? It's so easy to misunderstand and disrupt people's rest. It's very inconsiderate,' I thought.
When I finally climbed into bed, it was past midnight. The chat history with Brad was clean, with the last contact being yesterday at noon.
It's been over three hours since I saw him with that other girl. No calls or messages between us.
'Shouldn't he explain to me?' I thought.
I held my phone, dialing his number. I wanted to ask who that girl was, what their relationship was, and why they were hugging in public.
Was he trying to silently convey something to me?
Before I pressed the call button, I stopped. I wasn't anyone to him, and he didn't need to report anything to me. He wasn't anyone to me either, and I had no right to interfere with his freedom.
Even if that freedom meant flirting with another girl or starting to like someone else, I had no right to question it.
I wanted to ask but didn't dare. This feeling was really unpleasant.