Chapter 45 A Person Could
I figured Brad had his reasons for ignoring me. He was great to me before, so I didn't want to make things hard for him.
I stopped calling him and tried to take care of myself, scared of being called clingy again.
I kept my dignity in my own way.
I always knew, no matter how nice Brad was, he was still Daniel's brother. He wouldn't turn against Daniel for me.
With Daniel, I lost to love. With Brad, I lost to family.
Thinking this way made me feel pretty pathetic.
Daytime was okay with all the people around, but nights were tough. After dinner, I didn't want to burden my roommates, so I'd sit alone on campus for hours.
By late October, it was freezing, and the cold wind hurt my bones.
Four days later, I saw Brad on campus with Jenny. They were chatting, and Brad's smile was so gentle.
I wanted to ask him why he hadn't returned my calls or messages, but they looked so happy together, I didn't want to interrupt.
I walked away slowly, hoping Brad would notice and catch up to me like before.
The next day, I saw Brad in the corridor. He looked stunning in his white shirt. He seemed surprised to see me, then frowned. Just as I was about to speak, Jenny showed up, and Brad gave me a cold look before leaving with her. My words got stuck, and my eyes teared up.
But I was relieved to know Brad was okay and still on campus.
That night, I skipped dinner and sat outside until the dorm lights were about to go out.
Seeing Brad with Jenny made me want to cry, but I knew this would happen. I was the one who brought them together.
I wondered if I had done something wrong. If I hadn't delivered that letter to Brad, would things be different? Could I still enjoy his care, pretending he'd always be there for me? He wouldn't need a girlfriend, and I wouldn't feel like I did with Daniel.
I thought I was going crazy.
Days dragged on. I had severe headaches, couldn't eat, and had restless sleep.
I wanted to call my parents but didn't want them to worry, so I kept it to myself.
Mia said I looked thinner, my eyes had lost their sparkle, and my chin was sharp. She felt heartbroken seeing me like that.
Staring at my reflection, I noticed tired eyes, lackluster skin, and shallow breaths.
I thought I might be sick. Otherwise, why would I have such bad headaches, no energy, and blackouts?
For the first couple of days, Mia and Isabella wouldn't tell me why Brad was mad. Later, they tried to talk about it, but I didn't want to hear it. I just wanted to be alone.
I was scared of the answer. If it wasn't what I wanted, it would hurt for a long time.
I had gotten used to Brad's company. His sudden absence was heartbreaking.
On the morning of the sixth day, while everyone was up, I was still in bed. Mia finally noticed something was wrong.
I was awake but couldn't open my eyes. My head hurt, and my whole body ached.
I heard Mia and Isabella whispering.
"She's burning up. Can she get brain damage?"
"Sitting in the wind every day, of course, she'll get a fever. Does she need brain damage? She's already dumb enough."
"Quit babbling. We gotta take get her to the campus clinic. This fever can't go on."
"We can't move her ourselves. Why did she have to be so tall? Call someone to help."
The headache worsened, and my consciousness faded. Before blacking out, I heard someone anxiously calling me.
Maybe it was an illusion, but I thought I smelled Brad.
I woke up with a dry throat and a muffled cough.
The sunlight was harsh. I tried to shield my eyes, but my hand was held by another.
I turned my head. Brad, looking sleepy, was beside me. His eyes, usually bright, were now full of surprise and guilt.
It really was Brad!
"Jane, you're awake. Want some water?" Brad looked haggard and his voice was hoarse.
"I can get it myself, thanks." I should've been happy Brad was there, but his recent absence made me unsure.
I didn't know if he came just because I was sick or if he'd stay like before.
I didn't dare hope because I feared disappointment.
These past few days, I decided to live on my own, not relying on anyone. I didn't want to face another loss.
I tried to sit up. The water was on a nearby cabinet. If I moved closer, I could reach it.
A warm hand pressed my shoulder, making me lie back down. Brad poured hot water into a cup, inserted a straw, and brought it to me.
I reached for the cup, but Brad lifted it out of reach and propped me up against his shoulder. "Drink, I'll help you."
I looked at him in disbelief, took a few sips, and my throat felt better.
I kept staring at Brad, seeing the softness in his eyes, and sighed. "Brad, I'm fine now. You can go. I got this."
I really could. I managed without Daniel and without Brad before.
"I'm not busy. I'll stay with you today." Brad put my hand back under the blanket and tucked me in.
"But..."
But it had been six days. Brad didn't answer a single call or message. How come he wasn't busy now?
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