Chapter 506 Youthful
"Ryan, you want me to forgive you, but what about me? Who's looking out for me? You just walked away, leaving me to deal with our friends and family alone. My parents' disappointed faces, the snickers from our friends—while I was dealing with all that, what were you doing? Helping Grace change clothes after she fell? She kissed you, and you lost control. Before you knew it, you two went through an entire box of condoms that night.
You knew what kind of mess I'd be in, right? You knew my parents were coming to meet yours to talk about our wedding, right? You knew how many people would laugh at me for being ditched by you before we even got married, right? You knew how important that day was for us, yet you still let Grace throw a fit, making me a joke.
Ryan, is this what you call sincerity? Do you really want to talk about marriage again? Or are you so used to being in control that you don't want me to be the one to end this? If that's the case, then you say it. You say 'break up,' and I'll pack my bags and leave."
Ryan hung his head in silence, his right hand clenched into a fist, veins bulging on the back of his hand.
He actually understood everything, he just didn't care.
I continued, "Ryan, why did you do it even though you knew the outcome? Because you don't love me, you don't care what I have to face. Because even if you kicked me or punched me, I would still pretend nothing happened and continue to please you, right?
But why is it always me who has to compromise? Why does loving you first mean I have to be humble? Why do I have to keep waiting for you even after you leave me?
Grace dared to do what she did because you gave her the confidence and courage, didn't you? You let her humiliate me in front of my parents and relatives. You treated my dignity like a cigarette butt, crushing it under your foot, as if the past five years never existed. Ryan, if loving you ends up like this, then I'd rather not love at all.
Ryan, I can't afford to love you, so I don't love you anymore. We're breaking up, and we'll never see each other again."
At this, Ryan didn't stop me, and I didn't look back.
It wasn't until I had walked quite a distance that I realized I had forgotten to drive. I went back, put my suitcase in the trunk, and drove away.
As the car drove farther and farther away, my heart and Ryan's grew completely separated.
I only knew that in this lifetime, there would be no more possibilities between us.
Leaving Ryan wasn't as hard as I had imagined. On the contrary, without him, I no longer had to worry about whether he had eaten, if his stomach hurt, or if he had brought his documents and whether it would affect his work. I felt relieved.
I put all my energy into my work, successfully passed the probation period, and became a full-time employee. Because of my hard work during the internship, I gained the recognition of the leadership and got the opportunity to go out and gain experience with senior colleagues.
During the day, I sweated and rushed around, and I couldn't think of anything else besides work.
I thought I had forgotten Ryan.But every night, staring at the stars and the flickering streetlights, the pain hit me hard.
Countless times, I cried my heart out in my dreams, only to wake up alone in some hotel in a foreign land.
Every night when I couldn't sleep because I missed Ryan, it felt like every cell in my body was screaming in pain. Rationally, I knew I had to leave someone like Ryan behind, someone who had liked another woman from the start.
But emotionally, I had poured five years of unwavering love into him, and that wasn't something I could just take back.
I hated, I resented, but I also loved.
I hated that I lost myself in this relationship. My heart and eyes were full of him, and no matter how he treated me, I never thought of letting go.
I resented that he knew he had feelings for someone else, that he knew how deep my feelings for him were, yet he shamelessly deceived me. He enjoyed my care while entangled with his beloved Grace. He never faced or cherished my wholehearted devotion.
Every act of kindness I had shown him in the past became a sharp knife during our separation, torturing me every night, making me feel unbearable pain.
"Amelia, hang in there. You can do it." I kept telling myself this.
Yes, I could. Without Ryan, I was still Amelia.
The sun would always rise, and when it did, I would still be the Amelia who worked hard and gave her all.
When my brother found out that I had really broken up with Ryan, he excitedly called me on video. He told me to let him know when I got back so he could celebrate with me.
I asked him what we were celebrating.
My brother thought seriously for a moment and said, "Celebrate that you got rid of a bad man, celebrate that your blindness and heartache have been cured, celebrate that you've returned to your carefree and unrestrained self."
I laughed heartily and said he was really funny.
My brother straightened his face and said, "Amelia, all these years with that scumbag Ryan, even your smiles became forced. Luckily, you've found yourself again. I'm really happy for you."
Yes, I was happy too.
My brother was so happy that he shared the news of my breakup with my parents. They were immediately excited and started looking for potential dates for me.
My mom even called me specifically to ask what kind of man I liked—fat or thin, tall or short. She asked for a long time and finally muttered, "Forget it. I'll decide. Your taste is really not that great."
My mom hung up the phone after saying that, leaving me laughing.
I hadn't told my friends about the breakup, but my mom's actions were so noticeable that she asked everyone if they knew any good young men, prompting several friends to ask me what was going on.
So, all my good friends knew about the breakup and called to comfort me.
It was just an ordinary breakup, but it caused such a commotion.
Many people couldn't understand why I initiated the breakup. In their minds, unless I died, I would never leave Ryan.
From these certain statements, I realized how much I had clung to Ryan in the past.
And in the end, I was left with nothing.
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