Chapter 230: Concerns
I didn't wanna keep talking about this and start a fight, so I switched gears and asked him how Benjamin was doing and if he'd finally leave Mia alone.
Brad hit me with a question, asking why I hated Benjamin so much. I told him straight up, it wasn't anyone else's fault; Benjamin was just a total jerk. He used "love" as an excuse to lie and betray, almost wrecking Mia's life.
I went off, listing all the crappy things Benjamin did, laying it all out for Brad.
"Benjamin's already set a date to get engaged to that chick his family picked. I don't know if he'll come back, but Mia's the one he really loves. No matter who he marries, he won't forget her." Brad's voice was low, kinda sad. He and Benjamin were tight, roommates and all. No one thought things would get this bad, and it sucked.
I rolled my eyes. Real love means giving her the life she wants. What's the point of acting all lovey-dovey? Some things you just can't fix.
Later, I thought about what Brad said. I felt like he was trying to mess with my head, using Benjamin and Mia's drama to tell me that no matter who he ended up with, the one he really loved was me.
But I couldn't get behind that kind of deep love. If you can't even keep the person you love, what's the point of fake love? If Brad ever pulled that crap, I'd be outta there in a heartbeat.
"Tell Benjamin to quit the love act. Sleeping with one girl while claiming to love another—only he would buy that. It's gross."
I was blunt but honest.
Brad didn't seem to like what I said, frowning but keeping quiet.
"I called Benjamin yesterday. He's lost a ton of weight and looks like crap. I don't know when he'll snap out of it."
"He deserves it, he brought it on himself. All guys suck. People who only care about themselves get what they deserve." I was pissed.
"Don't say that, babe. No matter what he did, his feelings for Mia are real. He really loves her."
I hated hearing that. What did he mean by "he really loves her"? If she was the one, he should've fought for her, not tried to have it all—power and love.
Saying he had no choice was just a lame excuse for being a selfish jerk.
"Come on, would someone who truly loves a person have kids with someone else? Would they go months without calling or even posting on Facebook? Would they make her a lifelong side chick? Would true love lie to the one they love? Those are just excuses for cheating. No wonder guys wanna be kings. Now I get it. Being a king is awesome—having power and money, no one dares to cross you, and all the women are yours. You can sleep with whoever you want. It's just to satisfy their own desires. It's disgusting."
When I said this, I was fired up. I'd been sheltered my whole life, never knowing how tough the world could be. I thought everything was black and white.
Later, when I left school and saw more of the world, I realized adults often feel stuck. Sometimes, even with the best intentions, we have to face harsh realities that break us.
When I hit rock bottom, during those sleepless nights, I'd look back and realize I once had carefree happiness. Those memories would become even more precious.
Brad got even quieter after I spoke, like he had a ton on his mind but couldn't say a word.
When did Brad start keeping secrets from me?
Was his frown for Benjamin, for me, or for Jenny, the girl who saved his life?
I told myself Brad was just bummed that Benjamin and Mia couldn't be together.
Yeah, that had to be it. He always put his friends and bros first.
"By the way, babe, I'll be done here by Friday and back on Sunday."
I was stoked Brad was coming back.
But why not Saturday? What was he doing on Saturday?
I meant to just think it, but it slipped out.
Brad's face froze for a sec, his handsome features stiffening. He looked at me straight and said, "This might be my last trip here. Jenny said she loves the scenery and wants to spend a day checking out the lakes, mountains, and the valley where we had our accident. Since we went experienced life and death together there, she wants to make a memory."
See, you can't dodge stuff by ignoring it.
I tried not to think about it, but someone always made sure I did.
She called a valley that almost killed her a place where they "experienced life and death together," making it sound all poetic. If I were a guy, I might be charmed by her beauty and sweetness.
In my head, I pictured Jenny—medium height, slender, great skin, graceful figure, and a soft smile. Her eyes sparkled, and her lips curved shyly when she talked about Brad.
Back then, I was taken by her beauty too. Now, I saw she was a woman with hidden claws, both tough and enduring.
Deep down, I believed she was here to steal Brad from me.
No matter what happened, Jenny was always gonna make me uneasy.
Lost in my thoughts, I forgot Brad was still waiting for me.
"Jane, what are you thinking about so hard?" His voice had a hint of impatience. "Honestly, I don't wanna go either. God knows how much I wanna fly back and hug and kiss you. I've been on probation too long, and I wanna do well and get off it quick. But, just this once, can you understand, babe? Just to be clear, your boyfriend has always, always, past, present, and future, had only you in his heart."
Brad raised his right hand like he was swearing an oath, his face serious, making me feel all warm inside. Brad had this adorable side, and I couldn't help but laugh.
See, this was my Brad, the guy who loved me most in the world. He always knew what I was thinking and how to make me feel better.
I already trusted him, and he knew it. He said and did these things just to make me feel even more secure.
But even though I knew all this, I still felt uneasy and anxious.
Maybe this was just something girls were naturally good at—worrying about every little thing.
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