Chapter 95 Fool
I continued, "Louis cares about my feelings, and I value his too. But we can't be together. I can't let myself become so low, and I don't want him to fight with his family over me. I'd be labeled a bad woman forever. I know I'm not his only option. When a single-choice question has two answers, it's a mistake, Mindy."
Mindy replied, "I get it. I just feel bad for him. I don't want to see him heartbroken. I know it's selfish, but Jane, if I don't do this, I don't know how else to help him."
I said, "Louis has to get through this alone; no one can help him, not even me. I can't promise him a future, so I shouldn't have given him false hope. Mindy, don't you love him? Spend more time with him when he's hurting. True feelings show in tough times. He'll see your goodness eventually. I think his feelings for me are just unfulfilled desires from his youth. Over time, he might forget why he was drawn to me, and all that's left is obsession."
Mindy said, "I just want him to be happier and smile more."
I said, "Then find a way into his heart. Once you do, whether he cries or laughs, he'll do it willingly for you. Mindy, be brave. You're amazing, and he'll fall for you."
Mindy didn't respond, just stood by the window, heartbroken, watching Louis in the wind and rain, tears streaming down her face.
She was also a fool in love.
I was reading in bed when I heard Mindy scream and rush out. "Jane, get up! Louis has fainted."
I quickly got up and ran after her.
The rain was pouring harder, and the wind was freezing.
Mindy was kneeling in the water, soaked, her hair sticking to her face. She was trying to lift Louis's upper body, avoiding the wound on his back. Ignoring her own state, she cried, "Louis, wake up! Don't scare me. Call an ambulance, hurry!"
I ran back to get my phone and dialed 911, then grabbed an umbrella and ran back outside.
The autumn rain was cold, and the wind was fierce, making the umbrella almost useless. We shivered in the rain until the ambulance arrived. Louis was lifted onto the ambulance and sped away.
When the doctor cut open Louis's shirt, the wounds on his back were ghastly white, with flesh turned outward and deep red gashes, a horrifying sight.
I gasped and closed my eyes in distress. Mindy covered her mouth, stepped back, and collapsed into my arms, crying, "Jane, do you see? He did this for you."
My heart ached unbearably. 'Louis, you idiot, why are you being so stupid? Going through all this for me, it's just not worth it!'
My heart was breaking. Seeing Louis suffer, how could I not feel pain? But what could my pain do? Temporary suffering would pass, but a lifetime of torment was what truly killed.
Louis grew up in the Anderson family with overbearing parents. There was no place for me in his world. Some things can't be fixed with just patience and kindness.
The doctor re-bandaged his wound, and Louis was moved to a ward. He had a high fever and needed to stay in the hospital for a few days.
Despite all this, he still hadn't woken up, showing how serious his condition was.
"Jane, your heart isn't made of stone, is it? He had a fever at home and refused to see a doctor. To see you, he risked his life," Mindy said, tears streaming down her red eyes and nose.
Seeing Louis lying there unconscious, my heart ached. Regardless of love, I felt sorry for his sincerity.
Having someone as good as Louis genuinely like me was a stroke of luck. But the class difference between us was too great. I was destined to let him down.
"Mindy, I'm leaving. Don't tell him I was here." I picked up my phone, took one last look at Louis, and left with a heavy heart.
Mindy chased after me, angrily calling me heartless and saying I'd face retribution.
I didn't respond, just quickened my pace, almost running away.
I had an afternoon class, but I missed it because I took Louis to the hospital. By the time I remembered, the class was halfway over, so I had to ask Larry for leave.
Professor Evans only had two classes a week and was unhappy with my absence. I repeatedly apologized and promised to make course materials for him, and he reluctantly let me off.
Only Professor Evans could exploit my labor without appreciating it.
The rain kept pouring, and the gloomy sky was suffocating. My chest felt heavy, and I couldn't sleep or draw. I just buried myself in the blanket, staring at the rain on the window.
In this situation with Louis, I was glad I hadn't fallen for him yet. I could still pull back in time and avoid being crushed by the upper class. But it was hard on Louis; he might have to endure more.
At four in the afternoon, Mindy sent me a photo. Louis had woken up, weakly leaning against the hospital bed, looking lifeless, not like someone in their early twenties.
Mindy: [He was very disappointed when he woke up and saw you weren't there.]
I thought for a moment and replied, [He'll be fine.]
But I wouldn't agree to be with him out of guilt. With a family like Louis's, it was impossible to live a normal life. Whether I liked Louis or not, just from his parents' attitude when they first met me, I knew that being with Louis would be a lifelong tragedy for me.
Having occupied so many years of Louis's youth was enough. I couldn't ruin his entire life.
If I could do it all over again, I would have rejected him outright.
My indecisiveness caused him to suffer. If I had told him earlier that it was impossible between us, this wouldn't have happened. Louis's suffering was related to me, but it wasn't my intention.
Looking at Louis's photo, my heart was troubled, and I cried quietly.
I didn't even know why I was crying. I just felt like crying, as if there was a lump of frustration stuck in my chest, making it hard to breathe.
Louis now was like me at eighteen, full of wounds, wanting to cry from the pain, but unable to find a shoulder to lean on.
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