Chapter 140: Missed
My heart sank, and I glanced at the door. Brad had just left, so he couldn't be back yet.
When Daniel woke up, I felt uneasy, worried he might do something bad. His eyes were dark and complicated.
"Are you that afraid of me?" he asked, his voice rough.
"No, just distracted."
"Jane, do you still hate me for how I treated you?"
"No, I don't. I was young and caused trouble. It was my fault. I don't care about it anymore, and you shouldn't either."
He gave a faint smile. "Really?"
"Not only do I not hate you, but I'm also grateful. If you hadn't scolded me, I wouldn't have realized how great Brad is. Without Brad, I'd have missed out on happiness."
His smile faded, and he looked gloomy. I shrank back a bit.
"Do you like Brad that much?"
I wasn't sure if my words upset him, but he seemed more intimidating. I kept my responses short.
With Brad gone, I didn't want to provoke him.
"I never thought I'd fall for Brad. Before you told me to find a boyfriend, I never considered it. But Brad is great, and I like him more every day."
I was being honest.
"If, and I mean if, Jane, if I hadn't messed up, would you like me the way you like Brad?"
That was complicated. I remembered 18-year-old Daniel, arrogant and harsh.
If he hadn't treated me that way, maybe I would have kept liking him, or maybe I would have seen the truth and left him.
I thought for a moment. "I don't do what-ifs."
"I don't know what was wrong with me. I wanted to escape from you and liked Zoe so much, but after being with Zoe, I kept thinking about you. I knew it was wrong and didn't want to hurt you or be unfair to Zoe. I treated you coldly, hoping you'd stay away."
Honestly, I didn't care about his explanation and didn't want to dwell on the past. I just wanted him to stay calm. I listened like it was a story that didn't involve me, ready to forget it once he finished.
"Later, you really stayed away. I focused on Zoe, reminding myself she was the one I loved. Everyone said we were the perfect couple at National Capital University, but only I knew how often you appeared in my dreams.
For a long time, I couldn't sleep without taking sleeping pills.
Zoe was sensitive and argued with me, asking if I regretted it. I swore I didn't, that my past with you was over. I lied to her and myself. Later, she suggested we rent a place near school. I refused because I was afraid I couldn't face you calmly.
I missed you while letting Zoe make things hard for you. On her birthday, we planned to spend it together, just us. But we ran into you, and she insisted on inviting you. It was her idea to tell you to find a boyfriend, and I agreed.
I thought if you had a boyfriend, I'd focus on Zoe. But when you fell for Brad, it hurt. I went to find you, thinking you wouldn't give up on me. Now I see you had moved on, and you'd only love Brad.
I regret it so much, Jane. I've thought about how much of a jerk I was, losing a girl who liked me so much. I'm willing to give you everything, but hearing about your love for Brad, I couldn't say a word.
Seeing Zoe with John shocked me. We had been together for so long, and I cared for her. Saying I wasn't sad would be a lie. But I also felt relieved.
If it had to end, it was better for her to do it.
But my Jane will never come back.
Jane, I'm truly a jerk."
Hearing Daniel, I was surprised, but only surprised.
I'm no longer the Jane of the past, and he's no longer the Daniel of the past.
What caused me so much pain now just felt bitter.
In the rest of our lives, we missed our chance.
"It's all in the past. The most important thing is for you to recover well."
He didn't say more, just turned over, mumbling something I didn't catch, and I didn't ask him to repeat.
For the next few days, I went back and forth between school and the hospital but never saw the police. When I asked Brad, it turned out Daniel decided not to press charges.
He took a beating for nothing, and I couldn't understand him.
In the quiet of the night, I thought about it and figured it was probably because Daniel felt guilty about not being fully committed to Zoe.
The fact that he did this made me see him in a new light.
After nine days in the hospital, Daniel's leg cast was removed. The doctor said he was recovering well and could go home to rest.
Considering Daniel's condition, Brad drove both of us home.
After returning home, I mostly stayed at my house alone, sometimes going out with friends.
When Brad finished his family matters, he would come over to keep me company.