Chapter 101 The Diary, Her Secret
Magnus sat on the couch, holding the small bottle.
After his release from prison, he had taken this medication for a while.
But as a bipolar disorder patient, he had switched to lithium carbonate tablets.
Lost in thought, his phone rang.
The caller ID showed Ophelia.
He answered the call.
"There's something I haven't told you, Juniper didn't want me to say it before, but then I thought maybe she was doing better, so I forgot about it. But now that I think about it, maybe her suicide by jumping into the sea was a relapse of depression."
"Aren't you curious how she met William?"
Ever since you went to prison, Juniper hasn't been happy. She's too kind-hearted and always blames herself. Even though she doesn't say it, I can feel that she has been living in the shadows for these six years."
"Three years ago, she swallowed a lot of sleeping pills because of insomnia and had to go to the hospital for gastric lavage. Luckily, they managed to save her. William happened to be on duty in the emergency room at that time, and that's how they met. But they didn't have much of a relationship, at most just friends. It's been three years now, they even have a child."
"Juniper doesn't dare to pursue happiness. She feels guilty and doesn't deserve a new life."
"It was also during that time that Juniper was diagnosed with depression."
"She always said that the overdose of sleeping pills three years ago was an accident, that she didn't mean to do it. I naively believed her back then because I thought she had Jennifer, she couldn't bear to die, and she didn't dare to die."
"But now, looking back, maybe three years ago, she didn't want to live anymore."
"Before the age of eighteen, although Juniper lived with the Beaumonts, you know that Alexander favored boys over girls and never cared for her as his daughter. The warm-hearted Ava was kind to Juniper, but when Juniper was ten years old, Alexander pushed Ava down the stairs and she became a vegetable for eleven years."
"So Juniper never really enjoyed a good life since she was young. Maybe the happiest and most content time in her life was the year she spent with you, Magnus."
"Magnus, you gave all your love to Juniper, but wasn't it the same for her? Her life has been too difficult. Finally, she tasted a bit of sweetness with you, but this sweetness took her life. If we had known that this would be the outcome, it would have been better to just continue suffering from the beginning."
Ophelia rambled on the phone, but Magnus on the other end remained silent. She wasn't sure how much of what she said Magnus actually heard. After a few seconds, the call was hung up. Perhaps it was guilt, but more likely, it was overwhelmed sadness that left him speechless. What could Magnus say? He had no words. He held onto the small bottle of pills, his fingers tightening, and his eyes turning crimson. He has bipolar disorder and understands clearly how agonizing and painful these emotional episodes can be.
Six years had passed since Juniper endured this torment.
He walked into the bedroom, where there was still an uncooked bucket of ramen on the table.
Her flavors had never changed.
He had told her several times to eat less of this stuff.
But in the end, she pestered him so much that he ended up buying these junk foods for her.
There was a notebook on the table.
Magnus sat before the table, unable to resist flipping through it.
He was too curious about how Juniper had been getting by all these years, or rather, he was too curious if she had left anything behind, even just a sentence.
A sentence solely about him.
The diary consisted of many entries, but the first entry was dated July 10, 2017.
"On July 10, 2017, it was overcast. Magnus was convicted today and sentenced to three years - all because of me. But the irony is, I am pregnant. I know I shouldn't keep this child, but I can't bear to, I'm sorry."
"On October 3, 2017, it was sunny. Almost four months have passed, and morning sickness is really severe. I don't feel like eating anything. Ophelia bought me the corn muffin. They smelled so good. Lately, Ophelia has been helping me with my prenatal check-ups. I don't know how to repay her in the future."
"On December 31, 2017, it was snowing heavily. It's New Year's Eve tonight. I originally wanted to go see him, but my belly is too big, I'm afraid it will be noticeable. He will no longer want to see me, right?"
"On January 1, 2018, Magnus, happy New Year. I made some sandwiches and entrusted them to a prison guard. I begged him for a long time before he agreed to deliver them for me. But if you knew these were from me, you would throw them away, right?"
"On February 12, 2018, it was raining. It's a baby girl. She's so cute. Ophelia wants to be her godmother and asked me what name to give her. I thought for a long time. Let's name her Jennifer. It's all my fault that Jennifer was born without a father."
"On June 6, 2018, it was sunny. It's that day again. It seems like besides saying sorry, I can't do anything else."
"On December 31, 2018, it was snowing again. Jennifer is ten months old now. She always babbles and coos. In a little while, she should start speaking, right?"
"On February 4, 2019, it was overcast. It's Lunar New Year's Eve. Jennifer actually called me 'mom.' But I never taught her how to say 'dad,' and yet she called for her dad. If only Magnus could hear it. But he still doesn't know he has a daughter."
"On July 13, 2019, it was sunny. I went to the TV station for an internship, to earn money for Jennifer's formula. I need to work hard. I am not alone anymore."
"On August 6th, 2019, it rained. How could there be so many annoying freeloaders at the TV station, always trying to take advantage? I really wanted to slap them in the face. Losing my job would be terrible. Just endure a little longer. He'll switch teams next month, and won't have to be stuck with those freeloaders anymore."
"On July 10th, 2020, there was a thunderstorm. He was released from prison. However, I went secretly, hoping he wouldn't see me. I saw Robert picking him up, and he looked much thinner. It was all my fault, and now I didn't even have the courage to call out his name.
On May 13th, 2021, it was cloudy. The kindergarten called me today, saying Jennifer got into a fight with other kids. I asked why she fought, and Jennifer cried, saying it was because others said she was a wild child without a father. I didn't know how to comfort her, so I could only hold her and cry together. I'm sorry, Jennifer. It's all because of me that you don't have a father and get bullied by others."
"On June 6th, 2022, it was sunny. It seems like Magnus' company went public. Congratulations to him, and I hope he can start over and be even better."
"On April 15th, 2023, it rained. I was unjustly fired by the TV station. The station manager said I offended someone I shouldn't have. That person must be Magnus. He still hates me."
"On May 21st, 2023, it was sunny. In the evening, I worked part-time at Floating Life Nightclub. I met him, after six years. It feels like everything has changed, and yet, it's all my fault. Happy birthday, Magnus."
"On June 30th, 2023, it was sunny. I have lung cancer. Is this punishment from God? But if I die, what will happen to Jennifer?"
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