Chapter 199 Do We Still Have a Chance?
The small medicine bottle hit the hardwood floor and rolled to Aria's feet.
She bent down to pick it up and saw the label: Paroxetine tablets.
This drug treated various types of depression, including anxiety-related depression, OCD, panic disorder, social phobia, and PTSD.
Juniper might really have PTSD, and it was bad enough to need medication.
Outside, footsteps approached. Juniper and Jenny's voices followed.
Jenny said, "Mom! I can't sleep alone! Stay with me!"
Juniper replied, "Go to your room first. I'll come after my bath, okay?"
Jenny happily agreed, "Okay!"
The footsteps got closer.
Aria quickly packed Juniper's bag and pocketed the medicine.
But she didn't have time to hide; Juniper walked in.
They bumped into each other.
Juniper looked startled. "What are you doing here?"
Aria stayed calm. "I went into the wrong room. Thought this was the guest room for me."
Juniper said, "The guest room is on the left."
"Got it, I'll head there." Aria left the master bedroom.
Juniper didn't think much of it; Aria seemed trustworthy.
Aria was about to go downstairs when she ran into Magnus.
Magnus's gaze was sharp. "Find anything?"
Aria handed him the bottle. "Paroxetine tablets. Based on what you said and what I saw tonight, I think my earlier judgment was right."
Magnus looked at the bottle, deep in thought. "PTSD?"
Aria nodded. "Yes, but you'll need to ask her what caused it. It's usually from a major trauma."
Magnus's face darkened, his fingers turning the bottle. "If she has PTSD because of me, what happens if I force her to stay?"
Aria was blunt. "She'll suffer a lot, especially with physical or intimate contact. Without meds, she might even suffocate."
"Go home. The driver is downstairs." Magnus's voice was cold and emotionless.
Aria frowned slightly. "Don't take extreme measures with someone who has PTSD."
"You're overthinking it." Magnus gripped the bottle and headed to the master bedroom.
This time, Magnus wouldn't use any force on Juniper.
In the master bedroom, Juniper searched her bag but couldn't find the medicine.
She searched every corner of the bedroom, thinking she might have misplaced it, until Magnus walked in.
He stood behind her and asked, "Looking for this?"
Juniper turned and saw the medicine bottle in his hand.
Her heart skipped a beat, and her eyelids twitched.
Her mind went blank for a moment, but she quickly caught on. "You and Aria went through my stuff?"
"Yes," Magnus admitted without any excuse.
Juniper's eyes reddened with anger, and she reached for it. "Give it back."
Magnus raised his arm. He was tall, and she couldn't reach it.
Juniper was furious. "Magnus!"
Magnus asked, "Why are you taking this medicine?"
His dark eyes locked onto her, not missing a thing.
Juniper replied, "I had depression before, and it hasn't fully healed. You know that."
If it was just depression, Magnus had known that for a while. But why hide the medication?
"Juniper, I want the truth." His voice was cold and firm.
Juniper forced a smile. "Do you really want to hear the truth? It's not pleasant, and I don't want to say it."
Some things, once said, couldn't be taken back.
She had planned to play dumb, but Magnus kept pushing for clarity.
Juniper looked at him, almost pleading. "Why do this, Magnus? There are six days left. Just pretend you don't know. Let's spend these last days happily and part ways peacefully, okay?"
But Magnus couldn't pretend. He wanted a clear answer.
Magnus looked at the bottle, chuckling mockingly. "The aphrodisiac you mentioned before, it’s not really an aphrodisiac, is it? Without this medicine, you can't even get close to me, and staying by my side is torture."
Juniper didn't know how to respond.
"Juniper, am I right?" He looked at her, his gaze deep, trying to see through her.
Juniper gulped, pushing down the lump in her throat. "Since you've guessed it, why ask?"
If he didn't ask, they could still keep the last bit of goodness between them.
Magnus said, "I want to know why."
Juniper lowered her eyes, her long lashes hiding the mist in her eyes. She didn't speak.
But Magnus had already guessed. "Does it have to do with your mother's death?"
He paused noticeably when he asked this.
Juniper held back the lump in her throat, her voice very soft as she said, "Your arm injury hasn't healed yet. Can we not talk about this now? Let's wait until your wound is better..."
Magnus said, "Does it matter? It's just six days, and if being with me makes you suffer..."
His voice trailed off, then continued, "Juniper, do you really think I'm that heartless?"
How could she think he was heartless enough to know about her stress and still force her to stay, making her need medication just to face him.
Tears welled up in Juniper's eyes. She couldn't even look at Magnus.
She wanted to say sorry but remembered he didn't want to hear those words anymore.
"Magnus..." She lowered her head, stepped closer, and slowly hugged him.
Juniper knew a hug wasn't enough. She tried hard to control her body's stress response and hugged him tightly.
But Magnus still felt her slight trembling.
He didn't push her away, just closed his eyes and smiled faintly. "You haven't taken your medicine today, have you?"
He remembered everything clearly.
The first time they reunited, he couldn't control himself and had kissed her. She slapped him, looking terrified. He thought it was because the reunion was too sudden.
The second time, Ronald returned to Southern City. Magnus thought she was going back with Ronald, so he intercepted her at the airport, locked her in the car, and almost forced himself on her. She had trembled violently, almost suffocating.
The third time, at the party, he was drugged. She was ready to be with him but ran out midway. She probably ran out to take her medicine.
Magnus now recalled these details.
He let his arms hang down, allowing Juniper to hold him.
After a long time, he gulped and finally asked, "Is it... because of Lyra?"
Her hemophobia was also because she had witnessed Lyra's death, right?
If it was because of Lyra, then Magnus couldn't get past it. Lyra's death was related to Ava.
At that time, he had instinctively covered for Ava.
Juniper's tears flowed freely in his arms.
If only Alexander didn't exist, Magnus wouldn't have had to endure three years in prison, and her mother wouldn't have died.
Juniper didn't answer. She just slowly lifted her head from Magnus's chest.
She looked at him, tears flowing uncontrollably.
Magnus was really too good. She had thought so for a long, long time.
She was sure she would never meet someone this good again.
Magnus... he once meant everything to her. She gave all her purity and passion to him.
She felt lucky, yet deeply sad. Sad to the point she felt a dull ache in her heart whenever she was around him.
Juniper's eyes were red, but she smiled and said, "I wanted to leave some happy memories in these last six days, so when you think of me, you wouldn't feel meeting me was unlucky."
But now... she didn't know why they kept missing each other.
Maybe loving too much just meant being incompatible.
To love so deeply was to endure everything, yet be unable to tolerate anything.
In the past, Magnus couldn't tolerate her betrayal.
Now, Juniper couldn't shake off the shadow of their past.
Magnus's eyes were also red. He took a deep breath and asked, "Last time on the island, when you stood at the edge of the cliff, were you thinking of ending your life again?"
He added, "Juniper, I want the truth. There's no need to lie anymore."
Juniper didn't deny it. "A little, but more than that, I wasn't just thinking of ending my life. Honestly, I've been quite happy being with you, as long as I took my medication. Because I loved you, I couldn't bring myself to hate you. I've never hated you, Magnus."
Hearing her say she never hated him, for a moment, he felt pathetically that this was enough.
He wanted a lot. He wanted Juniper to love him, to stay, to marry him.
But now, her not hating him seemed enough.
Magnus asked, "Juniper, tell me, do we still have a chance?"
Magnus looked at her, his eyes completely red.
Juniper's tears flowed uncontrollably.
She turned her head, wiped her tears, and sniffled. "Being with you, while feeling happy, I also feel guilty. The happier I am, the guiltier I feel. I saw a psychologist, and the doctor said that if this continues, it could lead to mental instability or self-harm. Because feeling happiness, but subconsciously feeling unworthy of that happiness, this sense of unworthiness will worsen the condition."
She continued, "When I have physical contact with you, my mind splits into two: one who wants to accept you and one who rejects you. The one who rejects you feels guilty for being with you, as if like I'm betraying my mother."
She said, "I can't control it. I asked the doctor if it would always be like this, and he said it's uncertain."
Juniper smiled helplessly. "I really tried, but maybe... this is our outcome. Magnus, it seems like we were destined from seven years ago to not have a good ending."
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
