Chapter 200 Only Juniper
The bedroom lights were off, and the room was dimly lit.
By the light filtering through the window, Juniper could see the turmoil in his eyes.
But Magnus's face was calm. The calmer he looked, the more turbulent his heart.
There would be no good outcome.
Each word was like a dagger, stabbing a huge bloody hole in his heart.
Magnus suddenly smiled, a faint smile. "I suddenly regret it."
Regret asking her these things. Regret knowing these impossibilities.
He added, "Juniper, you should have lied to me. Now, I wish you had lied to me."
Juniper said, "Once words are spoken, they can't be taken back. Magnus, you shouldn't have asked me."
Some words, once spoken, only hurt.
A liar's success didn't depend on their skill, but on how long the deceived could feign ignorance.
Magnus couldn't feign ignorance anymore, so Juniper couldn't keep deceiving him.
They just looked at each other silently, almost self-destructively. She was right in front of him, but Magnus felt Juniper was very far away, too far to reach.
Maybe it wasn't a chasm; it was an insurmountable barrier.
Magnus called her, "Juniper..."
Juniper replied, "Yes, I'm here."
Magnus finally said, "You should go. I won't make things difficult for you anymore."
Juniper's tears fell, and she smiled at him. "Are you sure?"
Magnus said, "I'm sure. I don't want to... push you to death anymore."
As long as Juniper was willing to live, that was enough.
If she lived, he could go on living. The rest didn't matter.
This time, Magnus wouldn't hold on anymore. The tighter he held, the faster she slipped away.
He couldn't bear to squeeze out the last bit of feeling between them.
For someone as obsessive as Magnus, letting go was harder than anything.
They had spent seven whole years together, from Juniper being eighteen to twenty-five. At eighteen, she had given herself to Magnus. Later, she died seven years ago and never came back to life.
She never planned to start a new life; her life had ended at eighteen.
Juniper looked at him and thought of that night of parting in Sherlock Valley.
That night, floods blocked the roads, and they were trapped in a small motel.
She had begged him to hold her. He never agreed.
Juniper cried but smiled and said, "Magnus, hold me."
Maybe there was no future. Waiting was the future; waiting was the end between them.
Perhaps it was best to just take a bit of comfort in parting.
This time, Magnus didn't refuse. He just silently held Juniper, holding her tightly.
His chin rested on Juniper's shoulder.
Juniper also reached out and held him. Both were unable to see each other's expressions.
She tilted her head back, her voice hoarse. "In these thirty days with you, I was quite happy, not unhappy at all."
Juniper felt a warm liquid seep into her neck. Those were Magnus's tears.
Magnus said, "Juniper."
Juniper said, "Yes?"
Magnus closed his eyes. "Nothing, just wanted to call your name."
At this point, Juniper couldn't help but give a few reminders. "Magnus... you have to take good care of yourself. The wound on your arm hasn't healed yet, and don't drink anymore."
Magnus nodded. "Okay."
She continued, "Oh, by the way, a few days ago, I bought a few boxes of chewing gum at the mall and put them in the drawer of the coffee table downstairs. If you feel the urge to smoke, don't forget to use them."
Magnus said, "Okay."
Juniper took a deep breath, swallowing the lump in her throat, and continued, "Your stomach isn't good. Remember to eat three meals on time. Don't skip meals when you're angry. Set a good example for Jenny."
Speaking of Jenny, Magnus said, "If you want to take Jenny, take her. I'll have Paul send child support on time and visit her in Southern City when I can."
Juniper refused, "She's always lived in the Imperial Capital and goes to school here. Moving her to Southern City might be hard for her. Plus, she has her good friend Henry. I'll come to the Imperial Capital to see her."
"Alright, those six years, you took care of her alone and suffered a lot. I'll take care of her from now on." Magnus's voice was hoarse. After a pause, he added, "Juniper, in the future, you have to be happy."
He wouldn't force her to do anything anymore.
If seeing him would bring back painful memories, he wouldn't appear in front of her.
Juniper nodded. "You too, be happy. If you meet someone suitable, try to get to know them."
The idea that it had to be someone specific was very painful.
She wasn't lying; she genuinely hoped Magnus could find happiness with someone else.
What she couldn't give, if someone else could, that would be good.
Magnus agreed to all of Juniper's reminders, but he didn't respond to this one.
What did she mean by suitable? To him, no one was suitable for himexcept Juniper.
In Magnus's world, there was only Juniper and other unimportant people.
If he couldn't have Juniper, he didn't want anyone.
Juniper was the person who stood by his side in all his youthful desires, who could effortlessly win all his attention just by standing there doing nothing.
She was the one who could easily trap him in the past.
No matter how many times they met, he would instinctively be moved by Juniper.
Magnus didn't tell her that he no longer had the strength to love anyone else.
All his purity and affection were given to her, never to be taken back.
They held each other tightly, not knowing how long they embraced. Magnus, as if finally making up his mind, slowly pushed her away.
Magnus raised his hand and gently wiped the tear stains on her face with his thumb, smiling faintly, and said softly, "Juniper, this time you're really free. You don't owe me, and I don't owe you anything. Let's forget all those bad memories. I'll try to forget too."
He lied. He couldn't forget her.
But he didn't want to force Juniper to remember him. Remembering Magnus was too cruel for Juniper.
If remembering Magnus meant remembering Lyra's death, then it was better not to remember.
Juniper wanted to say something, but when she opened her mouth, she found she had lost her voice.
He sighed heavily, his eyes red. "I won't see you off tomorrow. I'll have Paul take you to the airport."
After wiping away her tears, he lowered his head and kissed her forehead very lightly, very gently.
So gentle that it was like a different person from the usually domineering and strong Magnus.
"In the future, I won't be by your side to protect you. You have to be stronger and more independent. But you've always done well in these aspects. In those six years without me, you made it through alone." Magnus self-deprecatingly curled his lips.
Only then did he realize that it was never Juniper who needed him, but he who needed Juniper.
"Safe travels, Juniper." After saying that, Magnus let go of her and turned to leave the master bedroom.
He didn't even dare to sleep in the same bedroom as her tonight, afraid he would regret it and break his promise.
Whenever he looked at Juniper, Magnus couldn't help but want to keep her by his side.
His figure soon disappeared from Juniper's blurry vision, merging with the night, lonely and desolate.
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
