Book 3: Chapter 34
Tiffany
“I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I got to leave the castle.” Said Echidnah happily.
She rode in the passenger side while I drove. We were almost there, though still a few minutes away. We wound up avoiding the town altogether, and still saw the aftermath. The demons were outside flying and running along the side of the car, since they felt it was too squished.
“Sorry it’s after I caused a riot.” I smiled.
“It would have happened anyway. They don’t know of my son’s residence in the woods, but they will soon. Another has found a trap, a brick of gold. They hoard it in their house, unsure how to cash in such money.” She chuckled.
“I don’t care what he does as long as it isn’t revenge.” I said seriously.
“It isn’t… mostly. He didn’t get his meal, as those were Jekels and Metters, not unprotected mortals.” She hissed. It sounded like a snake. “That they disrespect the rule of Black Diamond irks me. It truly does. They are Blessed Master Alteer and Master Stanley didn’t crush the town underfoot.”
She wasn’t wrong… had this been before the treaty… The village would be ash. “I’m glad my mate’s temper was under control.” I said and she laughed.
“That you think behimoths can control their temper once it’s kindled. It’s more of rage, but inaction. Had he shifted and flew this direction, you know the rest my lady. Today’s too fine a day to dwell on that though… I want fast food.” She said as her stomach growled…
I bet that was a special treat. The village didn’t have one that I knew of…and we were far from any towns.
“How do we go about getting Hamburger Royalty? I’d kill for a whipper.” I said honestly. “Even back home we didn’t have one. I’ve tasted them before, like twice.”
“It’ll be my third time. I’ve never had Hamberger Royalty, but there’s a bunch of different kinds at the capital.” She said pulling out her phone.
“…. Nobody knows.” I said and she gave me a firm nod.
“Not even our mates.” We pinky promised.
Evil laughs were shared. After this stupid, dangerous errand we’re getting fucking Snacks!
She went in her purse and pulled out a pipe. I recognized it’ that was Typhen’s. It smelled… different though.
“What’s that skunky smell?” I asked.
“Don’t worry about it.” She smiled. She rolled down the window, and I pulled into the farm.
It wasn’t anything special. It was a large house, a barn, fields of dead remnants of already harvested crops and a tower filled with grain. The truck was already pulled over and being filled, and I got the duffel bag out the back.
Mr. Metter’s father was old… He had to be in his 80’s but his smile reached his ears. It was a warm, wrinkled one I don’t think I’d ever seen from a human, well one looking at a witch.
“Afternoon.” He beamed. He got the money in Euros. I didn’t know how much, I just took the bag that was labeled for him. “I’ll be right back.” He said shuffling off.
Echidnah stayed in the car, and she had the car… absolutely filled with smoke.
“That’s it my lady.” Said a servant, breaking me from my examination of the car… I could smell her pipe tobacco from here. A little feeling told me that it was likely more than JUST tobacco, but I wouldn’t know what.
“Alright. Take it to the loading dock. I have an additional errand.” I said as he bowed.
“Of course ma’am.” He left. The truck was gone and the old man came back with the duffel bag still full, though with something else.
“Tell Zayde he owes me a hundred more.” He said with a smile.
“Oh, I think I have that.” I said going to the car. I was blasted with loud music and smoke. I coughed.
“Sorry!” Echidnah said opening her door to air it out….
“It’s alright” I said tossing the duffel bag in the back seat, and I handed the man his money. We shook hands, and that was it…
No fuss, thank the gods.
I cranked the car, and the GPS told us that we were a 2 hour drive from a Hamberger Royalty. I was in Europe now though….. Their menu will be different, and the taste might not be the *same* as back home, but it was junk food.
For supernatural creatures there was no greater treat than man food…. It’s hard to get because I have to go Deep into human territory to get it… but it was worth it.
I was getting hungry thinking about it.
“Want a puff my lady?” She asked.
“I’m driving.” I said responsibly.
“Awe Boo.” She huffed. “That was nice though.” She took the last puff.
“I assume this new duffel bag is more?” I asked.
“Aye, though that weed’s for the master.” She smiled blissfully.
“Fair enough. You know… I never touched this stuff.” I admitted. We were on a road trip for sandwiches… We were already being ridiculous.
“If the young master offers, go with the flow if you want. You won’t have a bad time. Flying around in the night sky, seeing the stars and reminiscing about when this world was young makes me wish this world was toppled again when the Realm master woke….” She admitted. “Gods I hate mortal languages. In beast, they have special names…. Ones that don’t translate over.” She grumbled.
“That sounds annoying.” I complained with her.
“But to better explain that, there’s no distinction between all the masters. I meant the Realm King a second ago… It feels almost like a swear to speak even his title.”
“I imagine so… Is the saying ‘talk up the devil’ true then?” I asked.
She Laughed. “Oh not only is it true, but they enjoyed the horror they brought. People stomping their feet too much at parties summoned the Old Master… complaining about something being unfair summoned the Realm King… but the most guaranteed way to summon them was outright saying their name. Those bold enough to would learn nearly instantly that it was a mistake.”
“I almost wish I regained my memories sometimes, but then it would have been harder to make New bonds with my friends, rather than carrying my feelings over.” I admitted.
“No, I’m glad you didn’t… I always felt that you didn’t like us. Like you saw us as simply tools and nothing more.”
“If I did, I don’t now. As far as I’m concerned, we’re friends.” I smiled.
She looked a little touched I’d say that. They were grand, mythological beasts. I’m sure even those they train may see them that way if they’re head’s up their ass…. Look at me swearing. I don’t often if I can help it… I felt loosey-goosey.
I saw the marker that we were entering town. We both cheered. Time Flew we were having so much fun sharing stories.
“I know we’d have BEEN here if we flew, but this is fun!” I shouted. I turned up the radio. Pop music played that I’d never heard before, and we danced in our seats as the vibration of the speakers boomed down the road.
The human town was so busy… I knew I should probably look for supplies or clothing, something useful.
I pulled into the line, and we got 4 whippers a piece.
Hamburger Royalty wasn’t my favorite, that was Sanic with their slushies or Cookin’ Out, since they had milkshakes, but this was closer… also unfortunately there wasn’t a Cookin’ Out…
We got $60 in food…. We looped around again for fries, more burgers for the boys, and soda.
“Nothing better than cow and syrup water.” She said biting into it with a hum. “I’m so glad the villagers were too scared to come this time.”
“They didn’t! Mr. Metters is a nice old man!” I shouted.
“They know his son’s ‘a vampire’. They shun him, and they won’t even sell to him now.” She said truthfully. “But he feeds the coven. All he as to do is ask, and If I Have to go get it done, I will.” She said seriously. “Enjoy your mild high and the food… also sorry I smoked in the car.”
“No, it’s fine.” I said with a nod… It felt like deep meditation… I was calm. Even hearing about the farmer didn’t make me fully upset.
“Look a hitchhiker!” She pointed excitedly. “Can we take him?!”
“…. I SHOULD say no…. BUT if it checks out that he won’t be missed, we will.” I said pulling over.
I turned down the radio too. I wasn’t afraid. If he didn’t have holy water or silver, we would have been safe. Well even if he did, I knew he couldn’t take her. It was why Zayde was so casual about me doing this errand.
The shaggy bearded man stunk, but he got in with very little encouragement. His tattered clothes made him look as if he’d been on the streets a while, but oddly enough, he wore a gold pinky ring as if he had an executive job. That was a blue star sapphire, one that was clear, which made it rare. Usually that kind of stone is opaque.
“Where are you headed?” I asked. I silently wiggled my fingers to cast a truth spell…
“Anywhere but the city.” He said showing his neck. It was bitten…. “My girlfriend is a vampire. Why’d I say that? I’m just tired.”
“No, it’s alright. What’s your name?” I asked him. Now that he wasn’t so determined, I could see details. He was a pale, dark haired man with dull, tired brown eyes.
They were bloodshot from lack of sleep, but I could also tell he knew what we’d been up to. He scarfed down the burger we passed him, and he didn’t even mind drinking the last of my Koke. He had his bag down next to ours, but it was clear this was an escape. His clothes were ripped a bit from claws, but she likely let him go.
“Peter Măscărici, yes, as in clown.” He said referring to his last name. It meant clown in Romanian.
“I think I met your people at some point.” Said Echidnah. “They ran The Jester’s Circus right?”
“Until my parents sold it. I didn’t want to do any of that. I went to school for psychology. I met Lydia there…. I know you aren’t supposed to see your patients, but we were together 3 years. I was going to propose and everything, but she told me crazy shit and grew fangs… and bit me.” He said angrily. “Then my damn car broke down, but thankfully you ladies can get me to a working phone….?”
“That’s terrible.” I said knowing that she *did* let him go. She’s heartbroken somewhere, but she should have known better…
That’s something you don’t disclose. She could have lived with him until he got old, or suspicious and faked her death.
“Why didn’t you let her turn you?” Blurted Echidnah.
“You aren’t supposed to ask that!” I shouted.
“Shit.”
I turned on the child lock. It was good I did, because he tried escaping.
“Doze-i-tah.” I said casting a spell on him to knock him out. “Well… I’m sure someone is going to be happy I picked up a knowing human off the streets.”
“True… sorry. This is fun though, let’s not bum it out.” She said turning up the radio again.
I sighed, shaking my head. She wasn’t wrong, but I would let her have her way.
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