Book 3: Chapter 90
A/N: Read my bluesky.
oh and happy Easter!
?? months later
Tiffany
I heard gentle humming, and cooking on a stove…. Whose couch was I on? Why can’t I open my eyes? That humming came from at the very least a dragon. His voice was deep, but kind… There was no hostility that I could sense either.
“Ziri, adjust all universes’ spin and tilt… about… 1, no 1 and a *half* nanometers per zeptosecond.” Someone said, sizzling something in a pan… It smelled like fried Grandian ham. “AH! Damn Greese!” He shouted, likely burned by it.
I’d giggle if not for … such an outlandish command…
*pop*
“Alright, the meat suit goes.” He growled…
**\[...rrr…\]**
It was the littlest growl,
but I knew….
I don’t belong wherever *this* is.
/SHHH!!/ Yelled Theo. /We might get in trouble!/
\[Alert: Realm Stability Maintained for sectors 1,2, and 3.\]
“Apply same command to Sector 4. Times it by pi’s irregularity.”
\[Status: Sector 4 Stable.\]
“Adjust Infinity to absolute 0. It’s too fucking hot out there.” He said putting his food on a plate. I heard that… It was making me hungry. I heard the pour of coffee too.
\[Temperature Decreased by {Ridiculously long number}.\]
“What else?” Whoever that was, asked himself... His voice changed…. Now he sounded *dangerous.* “Oh, place my guests back in the timeline. Wipe their memories.”
I gasped awake.
**All I remembered was that I slept so soundly**
…. Like… I was asleep on clouds after such a long, ridiculous mission.
“Your mom called like 80 times.” Said Casey, who had her blood in a V10 bottle…. Smart. She was up here with breakfast. Grandian bacon, eggs, toast, and coffee.
That sounded familiar. Whatever. Food. The moment she handed it to me it was gone. She even held the coffee a second….
I yawned. “Wait, it’s raining out.” I said a little surprised. “What happened to the dry season?”
“Hibernation.” She said simply. “You two have been out longer than expected, about 8 months.”
I blinked twice. “Is Micael still sleeping?” I asked gulping a cup of coffee.
“Yeah, he got up 3 months ago when he was supposed to.” She said thinking out loud.
“I think it’s because we never got a break… I did read that we were supposed to do this at some point.”
“Uh, Lord Bryson came after you both were brought home safe and sound. He said you two went into hibernation because your bodies needed it, and he’s been over about twice a week or so to check on everything.”
“Alright. Is he here now?” I asked.
“Downstairs.” She pointed, handing me a cup of coffee…. I ate everything she’d already given me, and the coffee was gone just as fast. “The guardian did all the real work… which honestly was nothing. About the most that happens here is nesting birds roosting at the top of the towers.” Casey smiled.
“Well yeah *Bryson the Beast* is downstairs.” I giggled, and she snorted a laugh.
She handed me a small folder with the months’ going on.
I popped my neck…. I was sent home, so was Zayde, but we slept the entire dry season, along with the wyverns. The castle guardian is an adult, and watched the place with the pargeese and Casey… The humans had had their children, and the alcohol pulled a profit. Additionally, the wyverns now protect a small herd of deer being fed and fatted for regular processing…
I didn’t like that the humans were on the same inventory sheet as produce… but… for vampires they really are. I could tell Casey was still considerate, scratching out ‘human quantity’ to ‘people of good health.’
I was also given a very nicely written note by Bryson, saying that this will happen every 10 years…. We should also shed our skins within this month as well.
My phone rang.
“Are you sure you don’t need anything?” Mom asked on the phone frantically. “And Your Sure you’re not pregnant?!”
“I’m Not pregnant.” I said getting up, and going to the bathroom. “We’ve been asleep months!”
She growled at me in pure frustration. “Tiffany you Do realize that hibernation puts pregnancy on pause in serpents!!”
“But I’m Not.” I fumbled around, and got a paper cup.
“AND you’re a reptile. Serpents can *save* genetic material for years.” She said firmly.
“That part I didn’t realize…” I mumbled.
*The results are negative.*
“I’m coming over.” She said firmly.
“But Mom!” I complained. “The results are neg-” I was cut off.
“No Buts.” She said without room for negotiation.
I blew a raspberry and hung up.
We hadn’t had the chance to have anymore sex. And even if he did wake up Right Now, It Would Mean I’m Months Along! Delayed or not, that test would tell me…
But Bryson is here…
Before mom used the waystone, I didn’t care if I hadn’t bathed and I looked like a disheveled mess, I ran downstairs, leaving my demons to follow behind me.
I forgot we even had a magic elevator, but Bryson stood in the castle’s grand entrance, holding a mug of tea. I didn’t know what time it was or anything, I just ran full speed, and skidded to a stop.
“Uncle Bryson, I’m not pregnant am I?!” I yelled.
He looked a little surprised, but I could also see his eyes flash black. He asked his wolf Ven.
His wolf leaned down and looked me in my eyes. Bryson’s eyes are always red, unless Venerable takes over, making them obsidian.
“No.” he said simply. “I am confused….. You’ve been asleep two months short of a year little niece.”
“I HEARD EIGHT!” I squealed.
“Strange…. I know it has been 10.” He said standing up, and Bryson took over. “No, it’s been 9.”
“Ok… something messed with time or something… is that possible?!” I said confused.
“Maybe?” Said Bryson… *Clearly knowing something*. “I just deal with getting people justice and resolution… Time isn’t my thing.”
“And that kind of magic is forbidden, so I guess it’s best to leave well enough alone.” I mumbled. “…What did I miss?”
“Uh…. All my pups had pups, Harmony, Nixxia, Queen Diana, oh, and the Earth Goddess chose to stay with pup the godkin way.” He scratched his chin. “and the rest you don’t need to worry about.
“What?!”
“Oh yeah, my pups had their kids right after the Lord of Contradiction fight.” He said as if I should know this. “But no, you’re normal.”
I hugged him. He seemed pretty surprised.
“Thank you! Mom’s coming and she’s already on her way-” I got cut off.
“Mommie is here!” she yelled, with Aunt Izzy right behind her.
She had … so many baby supplies! Strollers, different color clothes, diapers, bottles, lotion, baby monitors, anti-magic zone makers… you name it, she got it.
I was snatched, hugged, and squeezed by mom and Izzy. “I told you she was fine!” Yelled my aunt. “And without pup.” She said a little surprised.
“Look, even *Eternya* has a pup right now!” shouted mom. “I can’t help but worry!”
“The Bird King has Another Kid?!” I yelled. “I heard about his marriage to Elinore. What the Hell did I miss, Fuck Fest or something?!!!”
They looked at me like I did.
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