Chapter 353 Bitterness and Helplessness
Colin studied Anna for a moment, then his lips curled into a gentle, teasing smile. "It's pretty warm in here. Aren't you hot with that scarf on?"
Anna instinctively touched the scarf around her neck. The soft texture brought a strange warmth to her heart, followed by a hint of embarrassment. She bit her lip, took off the scarf, and neatly folded it on the chair beside her.
Her cheeks flushed, and her eyes darted around nervously. She felt foolish for wearing the scarf he had given her just to see him. It even had her initials embroidered on it, a testament to his thoughtfulness.
Anna sneaked a glance at Colin, who was watching her with a knowing smile, as if he could read her thoughts. Her heart skipped a beat, and she quickly looked away, pretending to admire the view outside the window.
"Um, the scarf is really nice. Thanks," she finally mustered the courage to say, her voice tinged with shyness.
His smile widened. "I'm glad you like it. I was worried you might not."
Colin paused, his tone turning playful, his eyes narrowing with a mischievous glint. "Remember when I told you to break up with your ex, and you asked if I'd be willing to be with you if you did? I agreed wholeheartedly back then."
His eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief, reminiscing about that moment. Anna's cheeks burned with embarrassment. She hadn't expected Colin to bring up that conversation now, leaving her flustered.
"You were joking, right?" she stammered, trying to laugh off her discomfort.
Colin shook his head seriously. "Joking? I never joke about things like that. I was serious then, and now I think you're right. I should plan for my future. I don't want to grow old alone. Having someone to dance with would make life more enjoyable."
Anna's face grew even hotter at his words. She playfully slapped his face, her eyes filled with a mix of shyness and charm. "Stop it! I don't want to grow old dancing with you. I want to be a sophisticated old lady, sitting in the backyard of a huge mansion, watching the sunset!"
Colin was momentarily stunned by her playful slap, but his smile grew even softer. He gently took her hand from his face and held it tightly, his eyes filled with sincerity and determination.
"Whether you want to dance or sit in a mansion's backyard watching the sunset, I can make it happen, Anna. Whatever you want, I'll do my best to give it to you."
She looked into his eyes, seeing the seriousness and deep affection there. She knew he wasn't joking. Her heart trembled slightly, realizing he might already know about the horrors and fears she had faced after being kidnapped.
This realization left her feeling both surprised and conflicted. She didn't want to accept this truth, nor did she want to show her vulnerability in front of him.
So, Anna forced a flippant smile, trying to mask her unease with humor. "Why are you suddenly being so sentimental? This isn't like you, Mr. Rivera."
Colin didn't let go of her hand despite her teasing. Instead, he held it tighter, speaking with unwavering seriousness. "I'm not joking, Anna. I'm serious. I want you to know that no matter what happens, I'll be by your side."
She slowly withdrew her hand from his warm, firm grip, her tone becoming unusually heavy, each word seeming to come from deep within her heart.
"You already know what I went through after being kidnapped, don't you? So why take that joke seriously? Saying you'd be with me if I broke up with my ex—are you pitying me?"
Her eyes were filled with complex emotions—anger, confusion, resentment, and a hint of tears. Colin's heart tightened at the sight of her so upset and distressed.
He quickly explained, "Anna, you've misunderstood! I never considered it a joke. I was sincere from the moment I said it. I don't care about your past; what matters is now and the future. I'm willing to face everything with you, including your past."
His tone was filled with determination and affection, trying to convey his sincerity. He reached out to hold her hand again, but she pulled away.
"Don't touch me!" Anna's voice trembled. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her emotions. "You don't understand what I've been through—the fear and despair. You can't imagine it. I don't want you to be with me out of sympathy or pity. That's not the kind of relationship I want."
Colin looked at her, his eyes full of understanding and compassion. He knew she needed genuine acceptance, not sympathy or pity.
Anna's words carried a hint of self-mockery and helplessness, her eyes reflecting complex emotions. She didn't believe any man could truly overlook what she had been through, nor did she believe she deserved love after all the turmoil.
She looked up at him, her gaze challenging and questioning. "You said you wouldn't get married, right? So what is this now? Do you want me to be like Lisa, a tool to ease your loneliness, only to leave when you no longer need me?"
"If that's the case, don't worry, I won't be mad. Maybe if you sweet-talk me, I'll even agree. We're familiar with each other, and you're attractive to me. I'm not that pure or high-minded. We're adults; there's nothing shameful about easing each other's loneliness. This way, it'll be easier for me to get free meals."
Her words, though laced with humor and self-deprecation, couldn't hide the bitterness and helplessness.
Colin's face darkened with each word she spoke, his eyes filled with deep disappointment and confusion. "I'm talking about feelings, and you're talking about a transaction? Anna, what do you take me for?"
She quickly wiped away the tears at the corner of her eyes, forcing a carefree expression as she looked at him. "I'm just talking to you in the way you like, like Lisa. She got a lot of things and resources from you for a while. I'm just asking for meals; it's not that hard to accept, right?"
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