Chapter 185 You're Allowed to Lie
Isabella turned off her phone and continued to apply her body lotion. She didn't take it to heart; it would have been strange if Lynda and Grace hadn't met. They probably despised her so much that they couldn't wait to pull her down from her position as Mrs. Lawrence.
Ah, actually, Isabella thought, why the rush for Lynda? She would inevitably be Mrs. Lawrence, so why hurry and risk hurting oneself?
Isabella paused in her movements; wondering if she should send Lynda a message to remind her. Sometimes, the more you cared, the easier it was to lose.
But then, Sebastian had already come over.
Never mind.
He glanced at her, "Not sleeping yet?"
"Soon." Isabella replied, "You go ahead and sleep."
Sebastian lay down on the bed and pulled the blanket up to his chest.
After Isabella finished applying her lotion, she lifted the blanket and was about to lie down when Sebastian pulled her into his embrace.
His body was warm, and he emitted a distinctly masculine scent.
Isabella's hands pressed against his chest as she swallowed, "What are you... what are you doing? Didn't we agree that you... you would wait for me?"
"I did say that."
"Are you... are you thinking of going back on your word?"
"No." Sebastian's Adam's apple bobbed, looking dangerously sexy, "I'm just wondering how much longer I have to wait."
Isabella looked troubled, "That... I'm not sure..."
Truth be told, she felt guilty as she spoke.
But the guilt wasn't because she was lying.
Instead, Isabella was worried that Sebastian wouldn't be able to hold back, that he would act on impulse and not want to wait for her anymore.
She felt that Sebastian couldn't possibly have deep feelings of compassion for her.
When he got impatient, or if she crossed his line, he wouldn't be so easy to talk to.
After Isabella spoke, she cautiously glanced at him.
Sebastian held her, but his gaze was distant. His lips were slightly pursed, his features looked sharp, and his nose was high and proud. No matter the angle, he was stunningly handsome.
Why was he... not speaking?
Isabella felt increasingly guilty.
"Isabella." Sebastian spoke softly, "I'll let this lie of yours pass."
Her heart skipped a beat.
"Because I really can wait for you," he continued, "until the day you fully accept me."
"Maybe you still don't believe it, but that's okay. Actions are always more convincing than words."
"I feel guilty about how I treated you before. If I could make it up to you, I would... but I can't, so all I can do is wait for you to try to forgive me."
Isabella replied, "Actually, Sebastian... not everything can be made up for."
"I know," he answered, his voice filled with deep helplessness.
Isabella bit her lip. This side of Sebastian, so rarely seen, left her confused about how to respond.
Jealous Sebastian, angry Sebastian, all sorts of Sebastians, she knew how to handle. But this tender, gentle Sebastian left her at a loss.
Isabella spoke softly, "To take a step back, even if it's possible to make amends, the hurt and the cracks are already there. The best way is to have never caused harm."
"To have never caused harm..."
Sebastian's gaze drifted even further away, as if he were lost in memories.
"Yes. But... it's impossible for us." Isabella smiled faintly, "Fortunately, we're not meant to be together for a lifetime. When the time comes, we'll part ways amicably."
"How do we part ways amicably?"
"It's about setting terms when we get married. When we divorce, we part without quarreling, without defamation, and without slander."
Sebastian said softly, "I still want to protect you."
"No, you should protect your..." Isabella paused, "the one you want to protect more."
She almost said, 'your Lynda.'
But at this moment, bringing up Lynda would be the most foolish and unwise thing to do.
Sebastian looked down at her for a long while. He said nothing and only tightened his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head, "What will it take for you to start accepting me, Isabella?"
"It won't be too long; reality doesn't allow me to keep rejecting you," she answered.
"If we don't consider the need to conceive as soon as possible, how long would it take for you to accept me to have sex with you?"
Isabella was stumped by his question. She was silent for a long time.
Silence, however, was the most honest answer.
"I understand," Sebastian's voice grew deeper and more even, "it will be a very long time."
Isabella didn't want the atmosphere to be so gloomy. It easily stirred up the sadness and melancholy at the bottom of her heart.
She let out an "Ah" and said, "Don't overthink it."
Sebastian's large hand rested on her back. "But I want you," he said.
Isabella stiffened slightly.
He felt it, and his hand gently patted her twice, adding, "But I won't force you."
Isabella nestled into his embrace; her nose filled with his pleasant scent.
Biting her lip, she mustered the courage to ask, "When you say you want me, do you mean you want a child soon, or... do you simply want to have sex with me?"
In the past, she would have blushed talking about such matters.
Now... Isabella could discuss it directly with Sebastian.
"You ultimately still care about the child, attributing all my kindness towards you to that unborn child, who isn't even conceived yet," Sebastian said. "But it's not like that anymore."
"At first, it was."
"Now it's not... it's not," Sebastian repeated, "Now, I just want to have a good relationship with you."
Isabella pressed on, "So, you mean purely..."
"Yes," Sebastian nodded lightly, "It has nothing to do with children, nothing to do with anything else, only with you. Isabella, I want you... willingly!"
His tone was light, yet it carried an irresistible assertiveness.
That was the kind of man he was, accustomed to controlling everything with his domineering presence.
He couldn't stand Isabella's indifference and the sadness in her eyes when she looked at him.
Isabella was stunned and stared at him blankly, "You just want me?"
"Yes."
Her mouth slightly opened; she wanted to say something but swallowed the words back down.
So... even if Sebastian knew she was deceiving him, he wouldn't expose it. He would really wait forever until she nodded in agreement, never forcing her to do anything.
Why, oh why...
"You..." It took Isabella a long time to find her voice, "Do you understand... what it means for me to agree?"
Sebastian countered, "Do you understand what I mean?"
He looked down, and she looked up.
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