Chapter 330 Did It Hurt or Not
When she could finally breathe, she gazed at Sebastian and asked, "Tell me, what should I smile about?"
"Should I smile after you punished me, humiliated me, and caused me despair?Should I smile at finding you in bed with another, or at kneeling to cater to your desires? Or should I smile at being imprisoned by you, causing my dear grandmother to worry about me?"
Sebastian pinched Isabella's chin, his calloused fingers wiping away her tears.
With a commanding presence, he questioned her, "You've deceived me,
trampled on my feelings, and humiliated me to this point. Shouldn't I punish
you?"
Tears glistened on Isabella's lashes, falling once more. Without blinking, she
gazed at Sebastian. "Do you think I don't get hurt?"
Sebastian's dark eyes contracted abruptly. "You hurt? Are you still acting?
What hurts you? Tell me, where does it hurt?"
Isabella pointed emphatically to her heart, proclaiming, "In here!"
"My heart hurts!"
"Sebastian, I put on a show. I harbored deceit. I have faltered, yet you, astuteas you are, can you not discern my affection for you? Is my performance
truly so compelling?" Isabella's voice grew hoarse as she spoke.
Her strength seemed drained, her legs giving way, unable to support her. If
Sebastian had not gripped her shoulders, she would have slumped to the ground.
"I love you, and I have only loved you," Isabella said to Sebastian, "So, do
you think it hurt me or not?"
Sebastian's hand lingered in the air, his emotions raw, brow furrowed in shock.
"Sebastian, I told you long ago."
Resting her head against the door, Isabella shifted her gaze away from
Sebastian's bewildered face, closing her eyes as if speaking to herself.
"You didn't trust me either, did you? When Lynda was in the hospital, you came home and argued with me. We reverted to a businesslike relationship. When you were on a business trip, you gave me a cold shoulder, insulted me, and made me go away. Then suddenly, you declared your feelings for me. Did I dare to believe?"
"But truth be told, I did believe. I wanted to confirm with you, but I am perhaps a bit too excited. My stomach was in immense pain. I tried calling you, but you didn't answer. Instead, I saw you rush into the hospital with Lynda, the lipstick stain on your collar a stark reminder."
"I am in pain, Sebastian. I have a heart, and I have dignity. But I can't control the emotions that surge within me for you. In order to maintain my dignity, I must convince myself I'm acting."
"I repeatedly tell myself in silence, deceive myself, that I do not love you, and I have never loved you."
Isabella's breath shuddered as she continued.
She covered her face in agony, saying, "I lack confidence, Sebastian. How dare I believe that I am the one you loved? Between Lynda and me, your choices have always leaned towards her."
"We began with a contract, with Lynda in between. I dared not believe that we could ever evolve into love."
As she finished her sentence, the room fell into a heavy silence.
A fiery ache burned in Sebastian's stomach, tearing pain in his chest, freezing him in place, motionless.
After a while, his thin lips moved slightly. "Lynda and I..."
Sebastian was at a loss, unsure how to explain to Isabella.
He didn't know what to say, but Isabella spoke for him!
"You and Lynda, with your deep and genuine feelings for each other, have a strong bond, a wonderful connection. I, this sudden intruder, have disrupted your path! I am the culprit of your relationship!"
"It's not as you say. It has nothing to do with you... It's always been my fault."
"You fault?" Isabella chuckled, "Sebastian, what have you done wrong from beginning to end?"
The two locked eyes.
Seconds passed, and Sebastian could only say, "Isabella, I've never betrayed our marriage. And Lynda, she's not an obstacle between us. I have never confirmed a relationship with her, neither in the past nor in the future."
Isabella froze in shock, roughly wiping away the rain and tears from her face, opening her eyes to stare intensely at Sebastian.
Sebastian's deep, dark eyes were like an endless sea, more awe-inspiring than the ocean she once saw in Silvercrest
As she gazed at him like this, she felt a sense of enchantment.
He had never mentioned his past with Lynda; she had heard about it from Amber. She never expected him to bring it up today.
"Isn't she your cherished one? Isn't she the woman you love the most?" Isabella asked Sebastian, confused, before descending into complete despair.
Sebastian's eyes didn't evade hers. He gripped Isabella's wrist, drawing closer. "She never was, and she never has been."
Isabella grew even more bewildered.
"I still don't know what the lipstick stain you mentioned was about. I did see Lynda that day; she had a heart condition, and I took her to the hospital. Perhaps I accidentally brushed against her and got lipstick on my clothes."
"As for... catching us in bed after the banquet, I thought you lied to me. After a night of drinking in a bar. Could a drunk man be able to have sex?"
Sebastian spoke seriously, "I'm not an inexhaustible machine. I can't be with a woman one night and still have the capacity to do the same the following morning."
At the mention, Isabella's face flushed slightly. She tried to turn her face away.
Sebastian, however, held her chin firmly, not allowing her to move. He leaned in, his handsome face magnified in front of Isabella's eyes.
"Do you believe me?" A hint of nervousness flashed in his eyes, he lowered his voice to a question.
Their breaths intertwined, Sebastian's presence enveloping Isabella. She pursed her lips, eyes downcast, saying nothing.
Sebastian's hand slowly released Isabella's chin, and then he stood up straight, silently accepting her response.
Her silence was the answer.
A sorrowful feeling began to grow in his heart. "You still don't..."
Isabella suddenly spoke, "Sebastian, do you trust me?"
She raised her gaze suddenly, speaking faster than Sebastian, jumping in before he could talk.
"I have always trusted you, always," he said, hands hanging listlessly by his sides. "But, Isabella, how many times have you deceived me? I can't bring myself to trust you anymore."
What he had figured out, what he hadn't figured out, and what he had figured out but acted like he hadn't... numerous lies stood between them.
"From now on, from this moment, let's be honest with each other, no falsehoods, alright?"
Sebastian's eyes lit up slightly, watching her, but he simply pursed his lips, indicating for her to go first.
Meeting his gaze, Isabella said, "You are unwilling to believe in something: my love for you. I suspect it was the conversation I had with Brittany at the airport café that reached your ears, wasn't it?"
Sebastian replied, "There's nothing I don't know, only... things I prefer not to know."
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