Chapter 417 I Love Him and Hate Him
"But why does my heart ache when I see Sebastian hurting? What's wrong with me?"
She grabbed a glass of water, trying to wet her dry lips.
The cut on her lower lip had turned into a nasty ulcer, and even a sip of water stung like hell.
After a few seconds, Isabella went on, her brows all scrunched up, "I feel like I'm not me anymore, like some stranger. I don't even recognize myself, and I kinda hate it. I know I should be cold and cut off all feelings for Sebastian, but I just can't. I love him and hate him, but I can't fully love him, and I can't truly hate him either."
Isabella yanked at her hair, hard. "I wasn't like this before. I used to love and hate freely, and I could control my feelings."
"Who am I now? I don't even know myself. It's so weird, so scary." Isabella let out a soft laugh. "Turns out, it wasn't just my love, my home, my trust that got wrecked, but me too."
Isabella patted her head, feeling totally lost.
Brittany felt like she was being torn apart.
She thought after all the crap Joshua put her through, love wouldn't touch her again.
Love wouldn't make her cry another tear.
She'd believed that for the past month.
But she was wrong.
Love was a beast, the scariest thing in the world. She couldn't fight it, and neither could Isabella.
No one could.
Love could turn a graceful, composed woman into someone unrecognizable, filled with intense self-loathing.
"Isabella," Brittany stopped her from hurting herself more, saying with concern, "don't do this."
Brittany wanted to say they'd escape one day, but deep down, she doubted it.
The brutal scenes from Maple Valley One haunted her dreams.
She'd never love again.
Even if she escaped physically, what would it matter? Future Isabella would be just like her now.
"It'll harm the babies," Brittany said, feeling helpless, "Larry said a mom's emotions really affect the babies."
Isabella was a bit taken aback. "Yeah, the babies. I can't let my emotions hurt the babies."
She took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and forced a smile, trying to look normal.
Brittany suddenly felt a strong fear. What if even the babies couldn't keep Isabella going?
Behind Isabella, on the other side of the partition, Marcus, with trembling hands, was also thinking, 'If Isabella knew that the children she is carrying and the bankruptcy of the Wallace family were all part of Sebastian's scheme for another woman, could she still go on living?'
Marcus gritted his teeth, his eyes red. His trembling hand hit the table, making a dull sound.
Heather held Marcus's hand, shaking her head silently.
Having grown up abroad, Heather was usually indifferent to their emotions. Cultural differences made it hard for her to empathize.
But this time, she really felt the sting.
On the other side of the partition, Isabella was her rival in love, yet she genuinely felt sorry for her.
Marcus used all his strength to resist the urge to rush out and tell Isabella everything.
He thought, 'Sebastian, you bastard! What the hell have you done?
'Self-loathing can turn into depression, and even lead to suicidal thoughts!
'Pregnancy already makes Isabella prone to depression!'
Marcus was so pissed he wanted to flip the table, but he was stuck.
He'd decided that if Sebastian ever hurt Isabella again, he'd spill everything he knew.
But right now, he didn't dare.
Marcus held his head, punching the table over and over.
Next door, Isabella and Brittany were lost in their own world, not noticing any of the noise.
When the food arrived, Isabella ate for the babies.
Brittany also put food suitable for pregnant women into Isabella's bowl.
"By the way," Brittany suddenly remembered, "how did you get out? If Sebastian won't let you divorce, would he let you out?"
Isabella said calmly, "He knows he's wrong, but he just won't punish Lynda. So, I compromised and stopped mentioning divorce. I asked to go out alone to calm down for a while, and he agreed. But there's a time limit—seven days."
"Seven days is fine," Isabella said, blowing on the fish soup with a spoon before taking a sip. After swallowing, she continued, "I don't want to stay with him. Dr. Hall also said I shouldn't have emotional fluctuations. The babies can't have any issues, or I really won't be able to hold on."
Brittany had a lot to say, but in the end, she couldn't say anything. She just nodded.
After a while, Brittany said, "Come stay with me. I live alone now. You can stay with me."
Isabella smiled gently and shook her head, refusing, "Brittany, I'm not that fragile. Don't worry, I'll take good care of myself."
How could Brittany not worry?
"Isabella, how about we book a hotel for a week? I'll go with you."
"That would be too much trouble for you."
"It's alright." Brittany mentioned a recent strange occurrence, "I always feel like someone is following me. I even have the illusion that someone is spying on me with binoculars from the opposite window. I don't feel safe there. I live in fear and can't sleep well at night. If we stay together, we can keep each other company."
"Spying?" Isabella's eyes widened, and she looked at Brittany with concern. "How long has this been going on? Did you call the police?"
Brittany shook her head, her expression quite calm, except for a fleeting look of frustration. She didn't show any other signs of distress.
She replied, "I didn't call the police. It's just a feeling. Maybe I'm wrong."
"Don't think that way," Isabella said, much more concerned than Brittany, frowning. "You should call the police. Let's go to your place to get some daily necessities, and then find a hotel near the company to stay."
Brittany nodded, and that settled the matter.
The two of them tacitly avoided talking about their feelings, shifting the conversation to everyday trivialities.
After finishing their meal, they left for Brittany's apartment.
The car's tail lights slowly disappeared into the neon-lit night.
At the restaurant entrance, Marcus stood motionless for a long time.
The reason he brought Heather here was because she wanted to visit a local campus and knew the food here was good. He hadn't expected to run into Isabella and hear those words.
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