Chapter 148 Shame's Burden
Layla tossed and turned all night, so it was no wonder she felt wretched the next morning.
However, she couldn’t stand the thought of stewing in her own troubled thoughts at home—she'd go mad. Work was essential now, a necessary distraction, even though she doubted her ability to concentrate.
"Morning, Miss Adkins."
"Did you not sleep well last night? You look drawn," Mr. Morris commented with concern.
Layla couldn’t even meet his eyes. She was all nervous ticks and darting looks, wound up tightly, exuding tension. She didn’t dare glance at the man seated at the table.
"Your eyes are so puffy," Samuel said, reaching out to touch her face.
Layla immediately pulled back, stumbling over her words, “Yeah, I—just a bad night of sleep."
She grabbed a piece of bread and started nibbling on it hastily.
"I need to take a trip to Europe. I’ll be leaving in a bit."
"Okay." To Layla, it was a relief. She needed breathing space; she wasn't ready to confront him yet.
"Last night, I got a call from my mother’s doctor. Her condition is unstable, and he advised I come over. Would you like to join me?" Samuel asked.
Layla froze, her throat parched and tight.
In the past, she would have taken time off to go without hesitation. But now... she couldn't face him, and she couldn't bear to look his mother in the eye either. How could she carry her shame there?
"I just got majorly swamped with a new project," she said with a faint, forced laugh as she reached for the milk, her fingers trembling so much she almost knocked over the glass.
"Right. Maybe next time, then," Samuel said, hope mingling with concern. He longed to introduce her to his mother, yet feared for her safety. After all, his mother had been kept hidden away to recover, far from the prying eyes of the Holland family. Their movements had to remain absolutely secret.
"Yeah, next time," she echoed hollowly. Would there even be a next time? It seemed likely they'd part ways soon.
Layla's smile was bitter as her heart steeped in sorrow.
...
The Bentley pulled up at the base of her office building.
"I should head up," she said.
The short drive shared in the same confined space had been suffocating enough for Layla; she felt on the verge of collapse. She feared she might spill the events of that fateful night any second now.
She was about to get out when Samuel's grip closed around her hand.
She recoiled as if his touch burned her, but he held on tighter. Her heart felt scorched, as though it was boiling within her chest.
She couldn't handle this pressure, this panic.
"Are you keeping something from me?" Samuel tried to catch her eyes, but she kept evading his gaze, forcing him to see her trembling lashes instead.
Her heart gave a painful lurch. She could feel a sob threatening to break free, "No, I... I'm not..."
"You can't even look at me."
"My eyes... they're just puffy and hideous."
"I know there's something on your mind, and I won't push you," Samuel's voice softened, wanting not to burden her further, he assured her gently, "But I need you to remember, you're my woman. We're in this together. I hope you can trust me and see me as a part of you. Whatever it is, you can tell me."
Her throat felt tight, and she opened her mouth to speak, but words failed her.
"I'm... sorry..." She eked out after a long pause, her voice fractured. And her heart? It shattered even more.
"I have to keep my schedule under wraps these next few days, so I won't be able to stay in touch. Be a good girl, okay? If you're tired, take a day off, rest at home. Don't push yourself. Your future husband can take care of you," Samuel tried to lighten the mood.
A bitter smile tugged at Layla's lips.
Then Samuel cradled her face and planted a kiss on her forehead. He did not allow her to shy away this time.
With his breath warm against her skin, he whispered, "Remember me... because I'm going to miss you, a lot."
Tears streamed down her cheeks, unchecked.
Samuel watched her as she walked all the way into the office building.
"I won't be around for the next few days. Watch her closely and don't let anyone from the Holland family get near her."
"Yes, boss."
...
Layla stumbled out of the elevator as if she was in a trance and bumped right into Alice.
"Watch it—" Alice quickly steadied the coffee in her hand, "Whoa, that was close."
When Alice looked up, Layla's swollen eyes took her by surprise. "Sweetheart, did you cry last night?"
"No, I didn't," Layla murmured, eyes cast down, hurrying away.
"Did you have a fight with Mr. Holland?"
"What's wrong? Talk to me."
"It's nothing."
Layla quickened her pace.
"Layla!" Nathan had been waiting for her all morning and hurried out of his office, heading straight for her.
His anxious demeanor drew curious glances from others.
Trying to contain his urgency, Nathan managed to steady himself as he said, "Step into my office."
"I have a report to write. I'm busy." Layla didn't so much as glance his direction, walking straight to her desk. She sat down and didn't say a word, not even giving him a glance.
"..." The other coworkers were even more curious now.
Nathan stood there for a few seconds, then announced, "Let's have a meeting."
"What's with you, turning down Mr. Marley in front of everyone? Are you sure it's Mr. Holland you fought with and not Mr. Marley?" Alice persisted, following Layla to the printer.
Exasperated, Layla frowned and snapped in a low voice, "Can you please just stop asking?"
Alice was taken aback by Layla's irritation. Looking embarrassed and a bit lost, she muttered an apology, "I'm sorry, I... I'm just worried about you. I didn't mean to—"
Layla sighed, "I'm not in the mood to talk right now." She didn't want to lash out at someone innocent, but she felt she was on the verge of a breakdown.
"Okay, I won't ask. Don't be mad."
Layla, holding the freshly printed documents, approached Grace, "Can you handle today's meeting report for me?"
Grace shook her head reluctantly, "It's not that I don't want to help you, but you've always been managing Layla's project. I only take care of my part; I'm not familiar with the rest. If you give it to me now, I won't have enough time to prepare."
"Never mind, then. I'll do it."
...
Inside the conference room, all ten teams were present.
Layla was zoning out, her head spinning. She could feel sharp pains in her nerves, and she couldn't help but rub her temples.
"It's your turn," Alice nudged her. They had called her name several times already. She was so out of it today.
"Huh?" Layla suddenly realized dozens of eyes were on her, Nathan's among them.
He just stared at her, his gaze unguarded and laced with worry.
Layla felt a wave of guilt wash over her, her cheeks burning and a tingling sensation creeping down her spine. It felt as if everyone could see right through to her shameful secret.
Subconsciously, she felt an overwhelming urge to bolt for the door.