Chapter 45 Coming Home, I Want to Hold You in My Sleep
A day later, Xavier's funeral took place.
The funeral home was imbued with a heavy, somber air, as many gathered to mourn. Jessica knelt before the church, gazing quietly at Xavier's photograph. Xavier didn't want her to cry, and she had been obedient, not shedding a single tear.
On the day of the burial, the heavens unleashed a torrential downpour. Rain poured down relentlessly as if echoing the grief of the moment.
Dressed in black with a white flower pinned over her heart, Jessica stood beneath a black umbrella amidst the crowd.
Through the heavy curtain of rain, she could almost see Xavier smiling at her.
He used to say, "Jess, don't cry. Xavier loves seeing your smile. You're the most beautiful when you're smiling."
So, Jessica held on.
It wasn't until all the guests had departed that she cast aside her umbrella and staggered to Xavier's tombstone, collapsing to her knees.
"Xavier, I've been good. I listened to you; I didn't cry," she whispered.
"I really didn't cry." But tears flowed like a faucet turned high.
Suddenly, Jessica was immensely grateful for the downpour—it veiled her tears from prying eyes. Yet how could she not feel pain? How could her heart not ache?
Beside Xavier's tombstone, Gabriel knelt, drenched in the relentless rain, yet steadfast. No one could coax him away. His gaze, resolute, didn't waver from Xavier's photograph.
Jessica knew guilt was consuming him, seeking atonement. He believed his actions had enraged Xavier, perhaps cutting short the time he could have spent with them.
"Gabriel..." Jessica approached to pull him away.
But Gabriel remained unyielding, a statue in the rain.
"I'm having Oscar take you home. You haven't slept for days. Rest up. You know Xavier would want you to be well."
"You haven't slept either. You need rest," Jessica replied, her heart aching for him.
The rain drenched them both, cascading wildly down their hair and faces.
"Gabriel, Xavier wouldn't want this for you. Stand up, let's go home." She reached out to him.
Suddenly, Gabriel's arms wrapped around Jessica, pulling her into his embrace. In the next moment, Jessica heard his sobs, his head buried in the crook of her neck as he wept with grief. Though he tried to suppress it, she could feel his body shaking violently.
Gently, Jessica cradled his head in her arms. She had always thought she was the one most affected by Xavier's death.
But at this moment, she realized she had been wrong. It was Gabriel who was suffering the most.
Having been mentored by Xavier from a young age, learning from Xavier how to be a person and how to do business, he had lost more than just a teacher. He had lost a cornerstone of his life.
It could be said that everything he knew came from Xavier's teachings.
Xavier had been by his side through every chapter of his life. But now, Xavier had left him, abruptly departing from his world.
"I'm guilty, aren't I? It's my fault... it's because of me that Xavier is gone," Gabriel blamed himself.
"If I hadn't insisted on the divorce, angering him, he might still be here," Gabriel murmured sorrowfully. His eyes, now reddened and veined, bore no trace of his usually suave and scholarly charm.
Seeing him like this broke Jessica's heart even more.
She reached out, pulling him into a tighter embrace, whispering words of comfort, "Xavier loved you so much; he wouldn't blame you."
"Xavier said he didn't leave; he just went to be with Grandma," she reassured him.
"Really?" Gabriel lifted his head, his dark eyes gazing at her with a child-like helplessness.
Jessica nodded affirmatively, "Yes, Xavier told me himself."
"The wind's so strong, and I'm so cold, Gabriel... can we go home now?"
Jessica had just finished speaking when she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her abdomen. That feeling of tugging and aching was all too familiar to her. The thought of the baby immediately sparked a grim premonition.
"What's wrong?" Gabriel, attuned to her distress, was quick to notice.
"Gabriel... my stomach," she looked up at him anxiously, "it hurts so much."
Gabriel bent over, sweeping her into his arms, and strode forward, "Don't be afraid; we're heading home now."
"Okay." A relieved smile appeared on Jessica's lips as she nodded weakly. But the pain in her stomach was intensifying.
Once in the car, Gabriel instructed Oscar to turn up the heat to the maximum. Warm air instantly wrapped around the entire car, the heat gently flowing.
Despite this, Jessica still found herself frowning, the pain in her lower abdomen becoming unbearable.
She could handle pain.
But the thought of something happening to her baby terrified her. She was afraid and deeply concerned.
"Jess, let's get you to the hospital, all right? We'll get there as fast as we can," he offered resolutely.
"All right, don't be scared, I'm here, and I won't let anything happen to you." With those words, Gabriel cradled her in his arms, coaxing her gently, "Just close your eyes and rest; I'll wake you when we get to the hospital."
"Okay," she agreed.
The next moment, she felt a warmth on top of her abdomen. Looking down, she saw Gabriel's hand resting there, trying to warm her.
A faint smile crossed Jessica's pale face, and with a trace of that smile, she closed her eyes and fell asleep in his arms.
Exhaustion must have weighed heavy on her eyelids, for no sooner had she closed them than she succumbed to sleep.
When she opened her eyes again, she found herself in a hospital room.
"You awake?" Gabriel carefully positioned her on the hospital bed and brought over a pillow for her to lean on.
Jessica glanced down to see herself in a pure cotton nightgown and immediately looked up at him with questioning eyes.
Gabriel was straightforward, "Your clothes were soaked; it's easy to catch a cold that way. I changed them for you."
"You... you..." Jessica stammered, disbelief painting her face, "How could you change my clothes?"
"As your husband, I think I'm entitled to help my wife into a fresh set of clothes," Gabriel replied with an unruffled demeanor.
Wife? Such a tender, intimate term of endearment.
If her memory served her correctly, this was the first time he had called her that since they were married.
"How's your stomach feeling now? Still hurting, or a bit better?" Gabriel asked, worriedly.
"It's eased up a bit, but there's still some pain," Jessica said.
"All right, just hang tight. I'll go call the doctor," he said, stood up and headed for the door.
The risk of someone mentioning her pregnancy spurred Jessica to insist, "Get the same doctor as last time."
"He might not be available," Gabriel mentioned.
"It's okay," Jessica smiled reassuringly. "I'm feeling a lot better, and that doctor is familiar with my condition. Plus, I like her. I'd prefer she checks on me."
"Okay," Gabriel relented.
Fortunately, when Gabriel went to find the doctor, she was in her office.
Upon entering the room and seeing Jessica, the doctor recognized her immediately. The doctor acted quickly, her gaze shifting to Gabriel, "Could you step out for a moment, relative?"
After the examination, the doctor turned to Jessica, "There are signs of a potential miscarriage, but luckily the bleeding has stopped. You need to take your medication on time over the next few days. If there's no further bleeding, then you should be fine. However, if it starts again, come to the hospital right away."
"All right, thank you, Doctor."
Once the doctor left, Gabriel stepped back in, "What did the doctor say?"
"She prescribed some medication; it should be all right," Jessica reassured him.
"Good. I'll have Oscar drive you home," he informed.
Gabriel was about to step outside to call Oscar when Jessica quickly got out of bed and embraced him from behind, "Gabriel, please don't go."
Frozen in place by her unexpected action, Gabriel asked in disbelief, "Jessica, what...?"
"I know you want to visit Xavier's grave again to atone, but please don't. Xavier wouldn't have wanted that. Just take me home, okay?" Jessica implored. "I haven't slept properly in days. I'm so tired. I can't sleep unless you're holding me."
