Chapter 751 Johnny: Love May Be Letting Go and Supporting 2
A thin wisp of smoke blurred his face.
As the cigarette burned down to a stub, the sound of footsteps echoed behind him. Johnny turned around slowly.
He saw Kingsley.
Standing just a couple of steps away, Kingsley asked calmly, "Do you get it now? Lola's been seeing a doctor. She was getting better, but ever since you came back from abroad, her condition's been getting worse, each time more severe than the last."
"Johnny, you're not her cure; you're her trigger."
"I know you don't want to accept this. You went through so much to get this chance. You always thought that with three kids, Lola would eventually come back to you. But you didn't realize that staying with you means self-destruction for her. You didn't give her any leeway with Shirley, and she didn't leave any for herself either."
"Johnny, I don't think she'll ever forget."
"Johnny, let me ask you, is the Lola now still the Lola you love?"
Kingsley finished speaking and left quietly.
Sunlight streamed through the window, illuminating the hallway floor. The sound of Kingsley's leather shoes faded into the distance, leaving Johnny standing alone.
He knew the answer.
But he stubbornly wanted to try again.
He found Lola sitting quietly on a hospital bench as if waiting for him. From ten feet away, he gazed at her.
Lola stood up gently.
She didn't ask any questions; she clearly already knew. Johnny remained silent for a long time.
In the parking lot.
Once in the car, Lola turned to Johnny and said softly, "I'm fine."
Johnny looked at her, his eyes reddening. After a long pause, he said hoarsely, "You say you're fine because you're planning to leave me, right? If you leave me, you'll get better?"
Lola's lips moved slightly.
Johnny gripped the steering wheel with one hand and gently held her shoulder with the other. His voice was even more hoarse as he spoke softly, "Have you been pitying me these days? You never changed your mind, did you? But Lola, can you pity me just a little longer?"
He let go of the steering wheel and instead gently embraced her.
He held her so tightly that it almost hurt.
Johnny's voice was filled with pain as he pressed his face into her neck and repeated, "Just pity me this once."
He was so humble, and Lola felt a deep sadness.
They had grown up together, and now, at this age, they had lost each other.
She reached out and touched his handsome face, her slender fingers gently tracing his nose. She didn't say yes or no.
But her eyes revealed their ending.
In the days that followed, Johnny would occasionally wonder if Lola had pitied him or if she still had a bit of love for him. But he would never know.
Lola's slender fingers were caught, and Johnny's voice was very low.
He said, "Let Stella drink formula and you take medicine, okay?"
Not for him, but for herself.
Lola agreed, then gently withdrew her fingers and said calmly, "Drive."
A sense of helplessness rose in Johnny's heart.
He had become sensitive, afraid of her leaving, but he knew clearly that he couldn't keep her.
He had become anxious and insecure.
Back home, Angelina and Austin were not there. The maid said they had been sent to The Hawkins Mansion. Lola slowly took off her coat and went upstairs.
In the master bedroom, Stella was sleeping soundly.
The maid was taking care of her. Seeing Lola come in, she quickly stood up, "Mrs. Flores."
Lola didn't correct her. She walked quietly to the crib and looked at the adorable Stella. She was growing well, and even though she was only a month old, Lola could see Johnny's features in her.
Lola couldn't help but gently touch Stella's face.
Just then, Johnny walked in. He heard Lola ask softly, "Do you want Stella?"
He froze.
After a long pause, his fingers seemed to regain feeling, slowly curling and relaxing. He turned to the maid and said, "You can leave. Lola and I need to talk."
The maid quickly left.
Once she was gone, Johnny gently closed the bedroom door.
He walked over to Lola and hugged her from behind, resting his face on her thin shoulder as they looked at Stella in the crib. After a moment, he asked gently, "What's wrong?"
Lola hugged herself lightly. She stayed in his arms for a long time before saying, "I just think you should have a child with you. But if you don't want Stella and plan to remarry, then I'll take her."
"I don't want to remarry."
"I want Stella, but I want you more. Lola, can we try again?"
"One last time."
He finished speaking, kissed her hair, and held her hand.
Lola didn't push him away.
That night, as she leaned against the floor-to-ceiling window, looking at the maple tree outside, she couldn't help but think that it wasn't just her who was trapped; Johnny was too. They couldn't escape.
Could two broken people living together heal each other?
That night, Stella switched to formula. It felt different, and Stella threw a bit of a tantrum, deliberately wetting her diaper just a little every hour.
By three in the morning, Johnny had gotten up four times.
In the dark, Stella started fussing again. When Lola tried to get up, Johnny held her hand down and said softly, "Don't move, I'll get up."
He settled Stella down and made her formula. This time, Stella seemed to give in and drank happily.
Johnny pinched her soft cheek.
When he got back into bed, he was exhausted. He knew Lola wasn't asleep, so he turned to look at her. His large hand held hers under the covers, and he asked softly, "Are you feeling uncomfortable with your breast swelling?"
"It's okay."
Lola wasn't a first-time mother; she knew how to handle it. She also knew he was just trying to talk to her.
Sure enough, Johnny pulled her hand over and placed it on himself.
His voice was rough and hoarse, "I'm really struggling, Lola. Can we try?"
Her body tensed.
Johnny intertwined their fingers, not rushing but pulling her into his arms, kissing her first. He wanted to love her, to make her feel good, to let her experience the joy of being a woman.
Their fingers intertwined, a hint of red on their fingertips.
It was a tender moment.
Johnny looked at her with red eyes and asked softly if it was okay. Lola didn't refuse, so he thought she was enjoying it too. But the next second, he pressed his face to her ear and said hoarsely, "Lola, you're lying to me!"
She felt nothing.
Johnny was frustrated. He didn't just want his own pleasure; he wanted her to feel good too.
Lola didn't deny it. When he held her, all she could think about was him kissing Shirley. Those images were deeply etched in her mind, impossible to erase, so she couldn't feel anything for him anymore.
But she thought she was willing to endure it.
As a way to repay him.
Lola hesitated for a moment, then turned and took a small tube from the nightstand, placing it in Johnny's hand. The room was dim, but Johnny guessed what it was.
He felt a resistance to it.
Lola lifted her body and kissed his chin, saying softly, "Johnny, this is all I can give you if you really want it."
She lay back down, her face soft, her golden hair spread across the pillow.
She was breathtakingly beautiful.
But Johnny felt an endless sadness. He gently placed the tube back on the nightstand and leaned down to hold her.
He did nothing else, just held her.
In the quiet bedroom, only their soft breaths could be heard.
Much later, Johnny whispered in her ear, "Lola, are you only frigid with me? With someone else, you wouldn't need this, wouldn't need to put this cold stuff inside you, wouldn't need to endure my touch. You could feel pleasure, and live well, right?"
Lola didn’t know.
She gently hugged him, but to Johnny, it felt like pity.
He held her for a long time until the moon set and the sun was about to rise, before speaking again.
Letting go only took a moment.
When Lola took out that tube, the pain completely broke Johnny. He thought it was time to let go.
He pressed his face to hers, whispering reluctantly, "Lola, I'm letting you go. Maybe it's better for both of us. We should start new lives. Kingsley was right; I'm not your cure; I'm your trigger."
He talked about the kids.
He said, "The kids should stay with you. If you can't handle it, send them over. Angelina and Stella don't need to be exceptional, just live well. Austin might grow up to be better than me."
He spoke softly about little things.
Eventually, he felt his shoulder get wet. Lola was crying.
He held her tear-streaked face, gently licking away her tears, and said softly, "Don't cry, Lola. I'm letting you go. I am really… I won't change my mind for a hundred years."
Lola's lips trembled, memories of their youth flooding back.
Overwhelming like a tide.
"Johnny, from now on, you belong to Lola."
"This will be your home."
"Johnny, let's make a pinky promise to always be together, never change for a hundred years."
A hundred years was too long, but they couldn't even make it through ten years of marriage. Now he was saying, "Lola, I'm letting you go. I won't change for a hundred years."
Lola cried, her tears overwhelming her like a tide, just like their memories.
Johnny stayed with her.
At dawn, Lola fell into a deep sleep. Johnny gently placed her on the bed and watched her for a long time. He thought, from now on, she wouldn't be his. Her joys and sorrows wouldn't be kept by him.
Maybe they would belong to someone else.
But if she could be happy, then… that was good.
Johnny slowly got up from the bed. His white shirt was wrinkled, but he didn't care.
The tube lay quietly on the nightstand. Johnny picked it up and threw it in the trash.
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