Chapter 756 Tormented by Inferiority, Consumed by Longing
He was drowning in self-doubt and despair, but his longing for her was overpowering.
Half a year had passed, and aside from occasionally seeing her figure during video calls with Stella, he hadn't seen her in person at all.
Johnny started to wonder how he had managed to get through the days without Lola when he was abroad.
Late at night, lying in bed, his mind wandered.
Propping himself up with one hand, Johnny reached for his phone on the nightstand. His long fingers lingered over the phone for a moment before he finally dialed Lola's number.
It rang a few times before she picked up.
On the other end, Lola had just finished her bath, wearing a soft robe and leaning against the bed.
Stella was lying in her arms, her chubby hand holding a baby bottle, eyes half-closed as she drank.
Lola gently patted Stella's back, her whole demeanor relaxed and soft.
She looked much better than she did half a year ago, with a newfound peace that came with time.
Lola's voice was slightly hoarse, "Johnny?"
Hearing her say his name made his eyes well up. After a long pause, Johnny spoke softly, "We were in such a rush at the parking lot today, we didn't get a chance to talk properly. Lola, how have you been these past half a year? How's your health?"
He already knew the answers. He knew she was doing well and she was relaxed and at ease.
It was clear that letting her go was the right decision.
After he asked, Lola was silent for a moment before she replied, "I'm doing great! How about you? Is your gout any better? If not, you should go to the hospital for a painkiller."
Johnny felt a lump in his throat.
Even after separating, they could still talk calmly and care for each other.
Even if it felt distant, what did it matter?
As long as they were both okay, that was enough.
He had been the one who forced her to have the child.
So the car accident was his punishment, but thankfully, Lola and Stella were fine.
They chatted for a while, and as the conversation was about to end, Lola naturally asked, "If you want to see Stella, you can come over anytime."
Johnny was silent for a long time.
After a while, Lola couldn't help but call out again, "Johnny?"
He finally snapped out of his pain, gripping the dark bedsheet tightly, the silk fabric crumpling in his hand. Despite the cold sweat on his forehead, he tried to keep his voice calm as he said, "Maybe another day, I've been really busy lately."
Lola was actually quite surprised.
She could tell that Johnny still cared a lot about Stella, she hadn't expected this.
After all, they were divorced. They couldn't demand explanations or blame each other like before. After a pause, she said, "Alright then! I'll hang up now."
Johnny's lips moved slightly.
His left thigh throbbed with familiar pain, and he swallowed his words of wanting her to stay because all his energy was focused on enduring the unbearable pain.
After a while, the call ended.
Johnny listened in a daze. The phone slipped from his long fingers, and he fell back heavily, gasping for breath. In the night, his blue eyes were empty and lifeless compared to before.
With a click, the light turned on.
He reached for a brown paper bag from the nightstand. As he lay back on the bed, the contents of the bag spilled out, which were photos of Lola from the past half a year abroad.
The photos showed many cities, but none of them were Silverpeak City or Sunset City!
In the photos, Lola looked better each day, her complexion rosy, her features vibrant.
Meanwhile, he was slowly decaying in this house.
When Lola first left Syeattle, it was the most painful time for him. He would sit by the hospital window every day, looking out, hoping for a postcard from Lola. For a while, Felicity was afraid to see him because he would always ask, "Did Lola send a postcard?"
He never received a postcard from Lola, so he had someone take photos instead.
He wanted to see her, to see Stella, his daughter.
He watched as Stella's hair grew from a few strands to thick, golden locks.
He remembered the warm feeling when he held her at the airport parking lot.
Suddenly, Johnny's fingers trembled.
He pressed the photos to his chest, not saying a word, and turned off the light again. He let himself sink into the endless, painful night alone.
Just like every night for the past half a year.
In the early morning, birds chirped outside the window.
The sound of a small car came from the yard. Johnny recognized it as Kingsley's Rolls-Royce. He lay still for a while, only getting up and putting on his robe when he heard footsteps downstairs.
When Kingsley came in, Johnny had just lit a cigarette and taken a puff.
Kingsley, carrying a few gift boxes, leaned against the door and sneered, "Cindy called last night, said someone insisted on going upstairs by himself and ended up howling in pain all night! I rushed over to see, and now you're smoking. Johnny, with that kind of pain, you still dare to smoke and drink? Trying to kill yourself?"
Kingsley walked over and snatched the cigarette from Johnny's hand, putting it out.
"
Johnny's fingers were still in mid-air.
He chuckled, "It's my only pleasure, Kingsley, and you want to take it away too?"
Kingsley ignored him.
He set down a few boxes and said, "Hailey went back home a few days ago and specifically brought you some special food. She said they help with bone recovery. I don't know how effective they are, but she insisted they work really well."
Johnny picked up a box and smiled, "Is it really that effective?"
Kingsley didn't respond. He just stared at Johnny for a while before saying, "I heard you saw Lola at the airport yesterday?"
Johnny's expression froze.
After a long pause, he asked softly, "Did Lola tell you?"
Kingsley pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, took one out, and lit it in front of Johnny. After a long, satisfying drag, he said, "Your driver Saul told me."
Johnny leaned back, "Traitor!"
Kingsley knew he wasn't really angry and laughed, "Saul cares about you! So, what's the plan? Not going to see Stella. I saw her last night, she's adorable."
Johnny's heart ached at his words.
But he pretended not to care.
His long fingers gently stroked the armrest of the sofa, hesitating before asking, "How is Lola now..."
Kingsley deliberately misunderstood him.
He said, "She's doing great! She's been single for a while without a boyfriend. I hear they're planning to set her up with some potential matches. If she finds someone suitable, she'll start dating; if not, then just let it go."
Johnny's heart tightened.
After a long pause, he pretended not to care, saying, "That's good. A woman's youth is limited; it's good for her to find someone now."
Kingsley smoked, looking at him through the thin veil of smoke.
After finishing his cigarette, he stubbed it out and stood up, "You're doing great too! Stubborn as ever! I've delivered the stuff, now I need to go back and report to my wife! Amara cares more about your leg than you do."
Kingsley left.
A moment later, the sound of a car engine came from downstairs, and Johnny listened quietly.
Kingsley often visited, though less frequently now, about once a week. In the past, he would come every one or two days to check on him and annoy him.
At first, Johnny resisted, not wanting anyone to see his pain. But over time, he got used to it.
Sometimes, when the doctor massaged him, Kingsley would sit nearby, not doing anything, just sitting.
But Johnny never returned to the Hawkins Mansion.
He had said he wanted to cut ties with Lola, so he did it thoroughly.
Now that she was looking for someone, it wouldn't be appropriate for him to go back like this.
Johnny didn't leave the house for a week.
It wasn't because of the pain; he just didn't want to go out, preferring to stay home. After a week, he had to attend a major contract signing for the company.
The venue was a high-end business club.
The other company's CEO, Mike Hall, was a straightforward Northerner. After signing the contract, he insisted on having a drink.
Felicity tried to stop him, but Johnny waved her off.
He calmly drank two glasses of champagne, smiling, "Mr. Hall, my health isn't great, so I have to stop here. I hope you understand."
Mike downed two glasses in one go, patting Johnny's shoulder, "I know about your leg, Mr. Flores. I didn't expect you to be so bold. You've got a friend in me."
Felicity's face darkened.
Johnny smiled faintly, but his heart was in pieces. Especially when he left in a wheelchair, the drunken Mike wanted to push him into the chair.
Johnny politely declined.
After leaving the elevator, Felicity's eyes were red. She whispered, "We shouldn't work with people like this in the future, they have no sense of propriety."
Johnny's face was expressionless, "He is a wealthy and arrogant upstart whose money is easy to get. Not working with him would be our loss."
Felicity wanted to say more, but Johnny stopped her, "No need to bring this up again, the contract is signed."
Felicity nodded, "I overstepped."
Johnny didn't blame her. As they were about to leave, he suddenly saw Lola.
She was walking in with a man, side by side, looking familiar.
The man was under forty, with a gentle demeanor and good looks, making a perfect match with Lola. Johnny was stunned. Was this Lola's date?
His fingers curled slightly, afraid Lola would see him. He told Felicity, "Push me over there, I want to smoke."
Felicity saw them too. Her lips moved, but she pushed Johnny to a side corridor.
In just a few feet, she felt the wheelchair was as heavy as a thousand pounds.
She wanted to cry.
When the wheelchair stopped, she choked out, "Mr. Flores, you could tell Ms. Hawkins..."
"Tell her what? Tell her I became a cripple just to protect her, and now she should pity me. Stay with a cripple, take care of me every day, help me clean my broken body?"
Johnny's self-deprecating words made his heart tremble.
Felicity couldn't control herself and walked away.
Johnny took out a cigarette. He wasn't supposed to smoke, it would make his leg pain worse, but sometimes he couldn't resist, like now, he needed a cigarette.
Seeing Lola with someone else.
That feeling of inferiority was overwhelming.
He had once been so proud, but now he was hiding like a turtle in its shell, afraid to come out. So pathetic, so laughable, so desolate.
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