Chapter 44 All Cleaned Up
Once he was gone, Pearl dropped all pretense. Pale-faced and with red-rimmed eyes, she felt filthy all over.
She sat in the bathtub, turned on the showerhead again, and began to scrub herself with soap vigorously.
Feeling it wasn't enough, she scrubbed hard, wanting to wash away the grime.
Her skin turned red, even scratched, until it bled, but she felt no pain.
The thought of being touched by something so disgusting made her feel sick to her core.
Oscar waited outside, glancing at the time. After ten minutes, he knocked, "Pearl, are you done?"
There was no answer.
Sensing something was wrong, his brow furrowed, and he said with gravity, "I'm coming in."
Opening the bathroom door, he saw Pearl sitting in the bathtub, vigorously scrubbing her body without making a sound, as if afraid that he would hear her.
"Pearl, stop it!"
He hurried over and grasped her hands, which were harming herself.
Pearl's eyes were red, and as he held her, she simply tried to evade and struggled violently, "Don't touch me, I'm dirty..."
"You're not dirty," Oscar whispered quietly, his arms wrapping around her to prevent her from hurting herself. "You are not dirty."
All Pearl could think about was the image of being pinned down on the table, feeling contaminated all over. The mere touch from Oscar made her feel unclean. She shook her head, "Don't comfort me. I know I'm soiled, even I find myself disgusting!"
Pearl continued to rub her reddened skin.
"Pearl."
No matter how much Oscar called to her, Pearl couldn't hear him.
She washed every spot on her body, repeatedly muttering, "I'm dirty. I need to get clean."
"I..." Pearl repeated the same phrase, but suddenly she stopped, her mouth quivering, her eyes shocked and moist as she looked up at Oscar, who bowed his head, and his cool lips touched her neck.
He said, "Pearl, you're not dirty, you're very clean, your whole body is clean. The dirt is on someone else."
His deep voice was like a warm beam of light trying to pull her back from the darkness.
His voice wasn't enough; his actions were needed, too.
His lips touched the reddened spots she had scrubbed and the places that had been violated. He kissed her skin gently as if handling a rare treasure, softly saying, "This is clean now, and so is this; no one will ever hurt you again."
He kissed her over and over, not repulsed by the fact others had touched her but instead seemed to wash away all the traces from her skin.
Pearl's eyes filled with hot tears, and she stopped rejecting his touch.
Her hands relaxed, and she said with a sour note on her nose, "Oscar."
"Hmm?" Oscar looked up at her.
He was her sole protector, and Pearl asked with a sob in her voice, "Why are you so good to me?"
Saving her from deep waters and fiery pits.
That was always the case.
And it was the same now.
He had appeared in her life, leaving the most vivid marks on her otherwise mundane existence.
Oscar stroked her hair, "You're my wife. Who should I be good to if I'm not good to you?"
Pearl buried her head in his chest, not wanting to leave his embrace, and said with a bitter smile, "What if I can't leave you because you are too good to me? I'd be like bubble gum, stuck to you, never able to leave your side."
The better he was to her, the harder it was for her to leave.
She was ready to give up, to let go for his sake, to no longer be a burden to him.
Yet he saved her again.
"Then stay by my side. Don't go anywhere."
It must have been the most tender thing Pearl had ever heard coming from Oscar's lips.
Oscar was indulging and obliging her. With her eyes closed, she savored the moment of his care. She knew it was just sweet talk aimed at comforting her because of her injury. She couldn't take it entirely to heart. There was always a place by his side meant for Haley.
She had soaked long enough that the bathwater had almost turned cold. Oscar patted her back and said, "The water's getting cold. You might catch a chill. Let me carry you back to bed."
"Okay," Pearl replied softly.
Ignoring that he would get wet, Oscar lifted Pearl out of the water and placed her on his lap. Then, with a dry towel, he patiently wiped her down.
Pearl gazed at Oscar, her eyes brimming with warmth, and leaned on his shoulder.
Oscar carried her back to the bed, and she was reluctant to let go of him. Oscar chuckled, "Are you that reluctant to let me go?"
Pearl wrapped her arms around his neck, "I want you to stay with me."
"I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." Oscar caressed her cheek. "You've turned all red. Don't move around too much in your sleep so as not to disturb the wound, okay?"
Pearl looked back at him and finally understood what it must have felt like for Haley to show her vulnerability to him.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Oscar was gentle with her when she showed even a little weakness.
"Okay," Pearl said, and though she was reluctant, she let go of his hands.
Oscar tucked her in and sat by the bed. "Are you cold?"
Pearl shook her head. "No, I'm not cold."
"You have a bit of a fever," Oscar said with concern. "I'll use a towel to cool you down."
"That's great, you're so kind," Pearl looked at him and spoke from the heart.
Oscar smiled and pinched her nose, and Pearl didn't flinch but just gazed at him tenderly.
She wanted to remember his kindness forever.
But Oscar said, "Little girl, don't be so quick to call someone nice."
He added a few ice cubes to the towel and placed it on her forehead, speaking in a deep, soothing voice, "Someday, if I'm not by your side, don't let men charm you with the slightest display of kindness."
Hearing this, Pearl couldn't help but press her lips together, the sourness at the tip of her nose intensifying. She forced a smile and pretended to be strong, "How could that be? I’m not so easily fooled. It's not going to happen."
"I think you're quite gullible. Weren't you charmed by that man named Magee?" Oscar said in a low voice.
Pearl paused for a moment without responding.
Yet Oscar grew curious and asked further, "You've never talked about it. What's the man that you've been yearning for all these years like?"
Pearl shifted her gaze, her voice muffled, "He reminds me a bit of you, but he was gentler to me than you are."
Oscar regretted knowing, feeling a pang of discomfort, knowing he didn't possess the gentleness she saw in that other man.
"Let's get some sleep," Oscar said, not wanting to ask any further.
Pearl didn't really want to bring it up, either.
These memories werethe warmest she had and secrets she wanted to keep close to her heart.
If these secrets were exposed, her embarrassment and difficulty speaking about them would be hers alone.
She nestled her head on Oscar's arm and closed her eyes to sleep.
Oscar lay on his side, watching the person in his arms, filled with unanswered questions. He stroked her delicate cheek with a hint of mockery in his thoughts. "The girl who's been by my side for so many years is now going to belong to someone else."
Why did the thought of letting her go hurt so much?
--
Pearl took three days to recuperate at home.
When she returned to the company, she learned that those who had harmed her were not faring well.
She had thought that the incident would lead to the cessation of cooperation with the Brown Group and losses for the company.
Instead, Morgan was demoted, a new person took his place, and the partnership with the Brown Group continued.
The assailants were still recovering in the hospital.
Rumors had it that Morgan had embezzled company funds and falsified accounts, facing a potential decade or more in prison.
Queenie was the first to approach her, "Pearl, are you alright now?"
Pearl looked at Queenie's red eyes, "I'm fine now, no crying in front of me, okay?"
Queenie sniffled, on the verge of tears again, "It's all my fault that you were put in danger. I haven't been able to sleep these past few days."
Pearl patted her head, "Don't overthink it. It wasn't your fault. I should be thanking you for bringing help in time."
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