Chapter 193 Unworthy of Her
With a jolt, William was brought back to the present, colliding with the door. A sheepish grin tugged at the corner of his lips as he turned to depart.
After indulging in a steaming shower and drying her hair, Ava found herself ensnared in the clutches of insomnia. She lay in bed, restless, tossing and turning, the elusive tendrils of sleep just out of reach.
Her illness had taken a turn for the worse, morphing into a relentless cough that seemed to gain strength as the night wore on. She had attempted to soothe her throat with hot water, but swallowing had become an arduous task.
Perhaps it was the sickness, but as she lay curled up under the covers, a wave of profound sadness washed over her. In her semi-conscious state, her mind was haunted by the images of Alexander and Isabella together.
"Alexander, you jerk, I despise you, I loathe you!" she muttered.
Ava's eyes flew open to find a man standing by her bed. Her emotional walls crumbled instantly. Casting off the covers, she rose and flung herself into his arms, clinging to him as if he were her lifeline.
With tears streaming down her face, she cried out, "Alex, why don't you love me? Why? What's wrong with me? Is it because I'm not good enough for you? Is it my background? Do you think I'm too ugly, or... or perhaps it's my terrible personality? Tell me, I can change!
"But why... why won't you give me a chance to change? Do you love Isabella that much? What's so great about her? Tell me!" Ava clung to the man's clothes, her tears and snot staining his shirt.
After pouring out her heart in his embrace, a new thought struck her. Looking up, she said, "No, don’t tell me. You don’t love me, and no matter how much I change, you'll never love me. If I changed and you loved me, then it wouldn't be the real me you loved!
"Alexander, you’ve made me feel so insignificant. I feel inferior because of my background. I feel like I'm not good enough for you! But... but I know this kind of thinking is wrong.
"Alex, I don't want to feel inferior for you anymore, but what should I do? I can't help but feel heartbroken. I can't control myself, why am I so helpless!"
The man enfolded Ava in his arms, gently wiping away her tears. "You're not helpless. It’s just that love can be blind. There are some emotions in the world that you just can't control, and you're not the only one who feels this way."
"Really?" Ava asked, her voice hoarse.
"Really," he answered with unusual sincerity. "When you truly fall in love with someone, no matter how flawed they may be, you can't help but care for them, miss them, feel heartache and pain for them, and even lose yourself for them. Love is beautiful but it's also blind and painful. Once you fall, no one can escape it."
"What about you? Have you ever loved me, even if just for a few minutes, or even seconds?"
The man tightened his hold on the woman in his arms, his dark gaze fixed on the tree branches swaying outside the window.
"I love..."
"No, don't answer me," Ava interrupted, tightening her grip on him. "Don't tell me, I don't want to know the answer."
She had already guessed the answer. Alex didn't love her, and she didn't want to hear him say it out loud. It was enough that she knew it in her heart.
Knowing the answer in your heart versus hearing it with your ears feels different. The former allows for self-deception, but the latter is raw despair.
A flicker of loneliness passed through William's eyes, his heart constricting uncomfortably. The remaining words caught in his throat, sharp as a knife.
His palm gently brushed her forehead, feeling the heat radiating from her skin. She was feverish, and her sadness was so overwhelming that it seemed to have driven her to the brink of madness.
'Alexander is truly despicable. In the same hospital, his wife was out in the rain and he had no clue, probably because he was yet again with Isabella.
'It isn't that Ava isn't good enough for Alexander. It is Alexander who isn't worthy of Ava,' William thought.
